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Big Brother 2023 Big Brother UK (BB20) started October 8th 2023 on ITV2 and ITVX.

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Old 02-11-2023, 01:39 PM #1
HettyTheHarelip HettyTheHarelip is offline
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Default Australopithecus

In being alive in the 21st century, Paul is a regrettable miracle, as the rest of his family tree - the genus Australopithecus, a distant ancestor of man who first appeared in Africa approx 4 million years ago - became extinct 2 or 3 million years later.
Even though Paul's Australopithecus forefathers were only half the size of modern man and spent their nights in trees, Paul is taller and sleeps in a bed (or occasionally in a puddle), but has retained many of their traits, and has also imported their exotic conduct into the modern world, as evidenced by his uninhibited - nay, joyful - breaking of wind, communicating with grunts augmented by a crude sign language, appropritaing more than his fair share of food meant for the whole tribe and attracting only the company of the house's most dysfunctional and toxic beins.
He is the sort of creature you'd expect to see supine in a puddle at midnight outside a pub,, drunk, with his pants full of faeces and urine., incoherent but full of himself, perhaps praying that one day his solitary brain cell will be gifted a companion by his deity, the Great Pumpkin,.

This is the idiot who opined that "if you are not willing to be kept up at night by him and his fellow morons, you don't belong in the B.B. house".

A ghastly dawnman.
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Old 02-11-2023, 02:15 PM #2
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tbh I think even calling him an ape is insulting to ape's , atleast Ape's can sign language and they have more intelligence.

But everything else seems about right .

Last edited by GoldHeart; 02-11-2023 at 02:42 PM.
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Old 02-11-2023, 05:25 PM #3
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Default Australopithecus

Paul is the ‘ missing kink ’


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Last edited by Zizu; 02-11-2023 at 05:25 PM.
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Old 02-11-2023, 05:29 PM #4
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I can't stand him. His selfishness keeping others awake when they want to sleep should have resulted in his being asked to leave the house. Ah well, hopefully tomorrow he will be the first to be evicted, shortly followed by Dylan.
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Old 02-11-2023, 05:47 PM #5
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Pauls would have been that kid your parents told you not to play with.
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Old 02-11-2023, 06:02 PM #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by isoveli22211 View Post
I can't stand him. His selfishness keeping others awake when they want to sleep should have resulted in his being asked to leave the house. Ah well, hopefully tomorrow he will be the first to be evicted, shortly followed by Dylan.
My sentiments exactly.
Out with Hopalong Cassidy and the human dung beetle
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Old 02-11-2023, 06:25 PM #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Redrose View Post
Pauls would have been that kid your parents told you not to play with.
Suddenly it made me think of this

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