[SMC]

Dan

Still, still, still loving Dan’s work. The producers must have had flash-backs to Weird Science when they met him. In a year where reality is nothing and game-playing is everything, you couldn’t design a better contestant. We shall never see his like again.

He’s always in control, always able to justify everything that he says or does because he has thought it through first. Oh, you might see him throw an occasional toy out of the pram but only because it suits him to do so. No-one likes a wimp – he knows that he can’t be ‘mediator-Dad’ all of the time.

By all means, Dan, have a bit of a go at Ahmed. You know that he’s unlikely to be getting much sympathy outside of the House and it doesn’t you any harm to be taking just a little of the flack from Michelle’s shoulders. It’s win-win all the way, so Dan’s decided not to pass and is playing this hand. I’m telling you now, I’m never playing poker with him.

Jason

Safe for another week, eh? Say what you like about him but he’s still in there, playing to the best of his ability and there have been plenty of strong players who haven’t made it this far in the past.

I know that he winds Nadia up deliberately but what is he guilty of exactly? As I have said before, I’m not buying Nadia’s complaint that he is a bully when your physical presence is not allowed to be a factor in the House. She could quite easily ignore him if she wanted to do so.

He doesn’t invade her personal space and he doesn’t often shout at her. His worst crime is that he talks over other people but that’s not unusual in BB5 and at least he listens occasionally. I think that he has shown remarkable restraint considering the circumstances.

Michelle

Some people like her, some people don’t. I’m ambivalent. She’s Mostly Harmless (yes, I do mean in an ‘Elite’ way) and provides decent enough entertainment on a variety of fronts. (Now don’t start, I didn’t mean it like that.) The only thing is – well, I say the only thing – she can’t win. Every single person in the North East hates her.

I was up there a week or so ago for *clang* Jonny *clang, sorry* Regan’s wedding and you would not believe the amount of people at the airport who came up to tell me the same thing: “She’s giving us a bad name!” I might even go so far as to wander down to the bookies and see what odds I can get for her to be the next-but-one out.

Nadia

I’m not the kind of bloke who avoids walking on eggshells but I’m aware that they exist, so let’s tackle them head on.

I have no problem with Nadia’s choices in life. They are her own and whether she chooses to tell people about her past or not is entirely up to her. It’s really none of our business and shouldn’t be a factor when it’s time to pick up the ‘phone on a Friday night.

Strangely, far from being a hindrance to her chances of winning BB5, Nadia’s gender reassignment seems to have given her a fighting chance. There’s a big ‘aahh’ factor: ‘Nadia’s obviously had a tough time in life and has come through it, and she deserves to win BB5.’ You get the idea.

However, let’s not allow our eagerness to appear to be politically correct get in the way of the central issue: Nadia must be an absolute nightmare to live with. If we do the right thing and ignore the gender-issue (as she would wish us to do), then we’re left with someone who would fray the nerves of the most forgiving of any of us.

Shell

I don’t think there is any game-playing going on and I haven’t changed my assessment of her from Day 1. People like Shell just want the world to be a slightly happier place and we could probably do with more like her. At the very least she doesn’t do anyone any harm and goes out of her way to try and make the House more bearable for everyone. I say, give her a break and keep her in.

Stuart

(and more of Michelle too.) Stuart still can’t communicate with Michelle. I have some recent experience with male-to-female communication... You, ladies, say that we don’t communicate enough and seem to imply that, as a result, we don’t think enough about, well, anything at all.

Yes, we do! It’s just that by the time that we have played through a hundred conversations in our mind to find a way of sharing our feelings that couldn’t possibly be misinterpreted, you’ve already filled the silence with your next supposition built on an assumption. (Think of Steve in BBC 2’s Coupling and you’ve an idea of where I’m coming from.)

How does Stuart tell Michelle what he needs her to know? He has absolutely no idea how the relationship is going down on the outside but he does know that a firm ‘yes’ or ‘no’ is going to alienate approximately half of the viewers. (It’s a near enough guess. With nothing else to go on he might as well play the percentages.)

What he wants to say is: “Cool it, Chicken. I don’t want either of the black or white options, I want people to keep guessing about our relationship until the very end. Then we’ll sort it out in private.” Unfortunately for Stuart, he’s played around with that speech in his mind as much as he can and there is no way to avoid what would be the inevitable parting with an important part of his body. So, he’s going to sit on the fence for as long as possible – as predicted on Day 16.

Victor

I’m starting to be persuaded, because we have seen glimpses of nice-guy Victor. He’s in the House to play a blatant game, his way. Fair enough - he isn’t sneaking around and he’s letting us know exactly what he is doing. If that means that he puts on a mask and becomes someone that we don’t like, so what? Loads of people seem to want him out, but I want to see how he gets on for a wee bit longer. It’s something different and I’m enjoying watching it. There were people in stitches in my flat when he told Jason to have a go at Nadia. We have to see more!


The verdict

I didn’t have one before starting this piece, but I’ve talked myself round. I’d like the end-game to be between Dan, Victor, Shell and possibly Stuart in the final week. Even if Shell isn’t playing the game, she still has the skills to do so, but it’s no use having Michelle, Ahmed and Nadia in the House – they’re not in the same league as the others. Michelle can’t go, Ahmed has to stay for our benefit if not his, so Nadia has to be shown the door. Simple.

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- Big Up To tickle for saying what he said about Victor..the man does have taste -