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Senior Member
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Ireland
Posts: 23,508
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Ireland
Posts: 23,508
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The Day the Music Died
Quote:
Westlife set to win chart race
TOMORROW will be remembered as The Day The Music Died.
William Hill have now stopped taking bets on whether PESTLIFE will beat OASIS to No1 when this Sunday’s album chart is revealed.
The latest midweek figures show the Oirish crooners have shifted 159,000 copies of their dreadful release The Love Album, while Oasis’ Stop The Clocks has sold 139,000. There’s still time for Oasis fans to prevent this grave miscarriage of musical justice if they mount a giant stampede on record stores up and down the country.
But I’d say it is less likely to happen than MICHAEL JACKSON taking over from KONNIE HUQ as the new Blue Peter presenter.
This week I risked a barrage of abuse from Westlife fans when I called on Bizarre’s loyal army of readers to help thwart the boy band. hitting No1 with my Stop The C*cks campaign. And while you put up a brave fight, I fear the end is nigh.
Tomorrow, barring divine intervention, I’m afraid De Loife will be crowned No1 — thereby sounding the death knell for British music as we know it.
They saw off rock’s Holy Trinity of THE BEATLES, U2 and Oasis in what will go down in pop history as Black Sunday — or should that be Sunday Bloody Sunday?
Perhaps it is now time for LIAM GALLAGHER to show his mettle and prove he really IS God and the saviour of rock ’n’ roll. Above I’ve conjured up a frightening image of how the future might look should the likes of Westlife and G4 conquer our once great nation.
Stools, cheesy covers and plastic grins will become obligatory for any budding rock star hoping to crack the British charts.
I’ve got my design wizards to mock up how BONO, PAUL McCARTNEY, Liam and NOEL GALLAGHER would look if they were forced to adopt the Westlife way.
I’m sure Britain’s stool manufacturers are rubbing their hands with glee.
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The Sun
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25-11-2006, 11:08 AM
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