[SiMoN!]

Nothing wakes Richard. Thunderstorms? Pah. Loud music? Easy. The sound of a forest being felled at close range? He's dreaming of sawdust.

So it's no wonder that when Big Brother flooded the bedroom with the sound of high-decibel chainsaws this afternoon, Richard gave a little shrug, and ground himself into the mattress.

"Hmm, it's nice. It puts me to sleep," he yawned, getting cosy. "Louder! It brings back good memories."

Snuggling deeper into his duvet as the chainsaws revved again, it looked like nothing would raise the Canadian.

"Get up," said Spiral entering the room.

"I like this," said Richard. "Does it irritate you? It reminds me of lumberjacks. Big men with big chainsaws, RARARR.

"This must be my birthday treat," he said turning over. Then it all went quiet. "Oh. Why have they stopped? I liked it?"

Well, we can't have you working all night and sleeping all day.