[xGemmax]

Don't feel stupid about using your computer - read on. This is an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies.

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.

11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard.

The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."

13.
Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

Now, don't you feel better about your skill level?

[Diablo]

surely some of those calls were wind ups via a radio show or something?!

LOL

[Diablo]

I heard a wind up call once a guy phoned PC World to by "an internet" for his atari. lol

[SiMoN!]

haha thanks

[Sophii3x]

The man who thought the CD Rom drive was a cup holder

[Princess]

LMAO!!! Those people are obviuosly just stupid!

[Siouxsie]

Interesting that .Good read

[Sticks]

I once followed the advice from a sys op, and thanks to that bad advice I had to format my C drive and re-install windows. I was working late into the night to recover what little files I could save. In the morning the problem persisted, the CD-drive would no longer play an audio CD, or at least the new one I had bought. Another Sysop told me to try another CD, which played.

I wiped my computer on advice of a sysop who never asked me to try another audio CD

It cuts both ways

[Lauren]

"4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key."

LMAO!

[stoney12]

Mind you the cup holder one is a bit of folk lore that has been around since that tray was invented.

[Ruth*Star]

lol They are just too funny. Thanks.

[Siouxsie]

I was ok doing my assignments for uni word etc,but when it comes to computer jargon count me out. I got my degree and thats all i really got my comp for . Ive gone downhill since then lol

[Bells]

haha
I feel much less stupid now actually.

[Siouxsie]

your fine