[Merry Mockmas]

Obviously everybody to some extent cares what people think of them, but do you obsess over what other people think of you?

For me I'm a contradiction as I care what people think of me a lot, but I won't change who I am just to please those people.

Poll will be coming shortly.

[RileyH]

Yeah, probably too much

[Matthew.]

yeah - i’ll spend ages wondering why someone doesn’t like me

wish i could be one of them people that couldn’t give a rat’s arse but i do care what people think of me because i don’t like the idea of people speaking bad things about me behind my back

[Matthew.]

and i’ll make such an effort to be nice af to new people and then they’ll say something a bit off, and then i’ll immediately be like in my hind omfg what did i do wrong i ****ed up again i said something am i being annoying

and i shouldnt but i do

[Wizard.]

I want people to think good of me but I don't care if they don't. So there.

[Urban Cragou]

It's only a problem if you haven't been streamlined/socialised in a conventional way and people see you as a bit of an eccentric. If your self's a weirdo don't be a weirdo. At least not in public. That's all I'd say.

[smudgie]

Nah, never have and never will.
As long as my friends and family love me I know I am doing something right.

[Alf]

It depends what they think of me.

[Withano]

Only if theyre nice or are offering me a job with more money.

[montblanc]

yes

unhealthily so too

[Ant.]

not particularly

I remember seeing a cartoon as a kid that said a lot of people in life won't like you for just the way you are (like, breathing and stuff)

Like if there's a problem someone has with me I'll try to address it? But that's the extent of it

but if people love me then yes I care greatly

[Ant.]

Originally Posted by montblanc

yes

unhealthily so too

Originally Posted by RileyH

Yeah, probably too much

Originally Posted by Matthew.

yeah - i’ll spend ages wondering why someone doesn’t like me

wish i could be one of them people that couldn’t give a rat’s arse but i do care what people think of me because i don’t like the idea of people speaking bad things about me behind my back

i love all 3 of you

@Matthew, I don't know if this would reassure you (I'm saying this to try and validate you Im sorry if it comes off the wrong way) but you're not alone with that feeling, and everyone I know who has that fear (including me) is usually off and they're actually loved and leave a good first impression

I can't tell you the amount of times I've got home from a gathering, worrying my stumbling or the fact I didn't thank someone or the fact I didn't seem interested left a sour taste, only to get a text from someone to say the person/people I worried about actually liked me and only had nice things to say

Tl;dr, you'll never know how people feel about you, but chances are it's never as bad as you think. If you're anything like you are online you're a lovely person who I'm sure couldn't leave a bad impression

[Oliver_W]

Even thinks they're weird because they're the only ones who knows what goes on in their own heads, haha.

Originally Posted by Lilbro

I can't tell you the amount of times I've got home from a gathering, worrying my stumbling or the fact I didn't thank someone or the fact I didn't seem interested left a sour taste, only to get a text from someone to say the person/people I worried about actually liked me and only had nice things to say

Tl;dr, you'll never know how people feel about you, but chances are it's never as bad as you think. If you're anything like you are online you're a lovely person who I'm sure couldn't leave a bad impression

Exactly this! People generally don't notice or care about the odd missed "thank you", you generally come off as rude anyway. 99% of the time, things seem worse in your head than they generally are.
Ask yourself this - would you judge someone or even remember an hour later if someone stumbled or didn't say thank you? nah, no-one cares

[armand.kay]

I know most people like me and I'm pretty confident I'm my social skills. So while I would hate it if everyone around me disliked me I don't obsess over making people like me because I'm pretty sure I'll do alright by just being myself .

[FaLaLaLand]

I used to, majorly, to the point where it made me ill.

Now, couldn't give a ****. You're only here once and it's not long enough to worry about trivial rubbish, nobody can please everybody, enjoy your life and just stick to the people who mean anything to you. Stuff everyone else!

[Rustic bauble]

I care if I care about them...

[Rufus]

Yeah, especially when someone doesn't like me because it makes me feel like I've done something to upset them when it's never my intention and I get insecure about it. I wish I had thicker skin tbh.

[Eddie.]

In most situations, no.

[jaxie]

Everyone cares to a point but no it isn't something I obsess about. I do find it surprising sometimes the conclusions people sometimes jump to about you, specially online when in reality they know very little about you.

I think if the people who really matter know who you are and love you then no one else's opinion is important.

[Matthew.]

Originally Posted by Lilbro

i love all 3 of you

@Matthew, I don't know if this would reassure you (I'm saying this to try and validate you Im sorry if it comes off the wrong way) but you're not alone with that feeling, and everyone I know who has that fear (including me) is usually off and they're actually loved and leave a good first impression

I can't tell you the amount of times I've got home from a gathering, worrying my stumbling or the fact I didn't thank someone or the fact I didn't seem interested left a sour taste, only to get a text from someone to say the person/people I worried about actually liked me and only had nice things to say

Tl;dr, you'll never know how people feel about you, but chances are it's never as bad as you think. If you're anything like you are online you're a lovely person who I'm sure couldn't leave a bad impression

aw thank you ant

i usually either say very little or talk far too much bollocks when i meet someone new so both of those could come off as annoying probably?

[Urban Cragou]

Originally Posted by Matthew.

aw thank you ant

i usually either say very little or talk far too much bollocks when i meet someone new so both of those could come off as annoying probably?

And do you think people get the impression that you're stuck-up/pampered if you come across as too quiet?

Everyone waffles at times though. It's natural.

[Matthew.]

Originally Posted by Redway

And do you think people get the impression that you're stuck-up/pampered if you come across as too quiet?

i’ve never thought of it like that before

[Christmas Lights]

Originally Posted by Alf

It depends what they think of me.

Pretty much this
Otherwise no

[Christmas Dynasnow]

Its science innit.

Young people like to be part of the tribe and they need to get a mate and procreate the selfish gene so you care deeply what people think, once you get a mate it reduces and combined with this as you get older you realise no one is looking at you, thinking about you and they are actually thinking about themselves. Combine that with the fact that as you get oldr you get more responsibility and more things to think about than yourself

So its a graph that starts at the top and reduces with age


Its good to remember this: "pretty much most of the time people are not thinking about you but themselves"

[Nicky91]

yes, which is why i get stressed so damn much