[Red Moon]

ZIG BROTHER & SILLY GIRLS

'LL let you into a secret. Boy band reject Ziggy Lichman is NOT the only man in the house. Among Big Brother's gaggle of girly grotesques, there are actually two guys.

How long will it be before Sean Bean rips off that pink wig and stops calling himself Tracey? You decide.

Anyway, Ziggy's attempts at sophistication soon crumbled when he announced that the first female to catch his eye was Chanelle - the world's worst human being. "I might change my mind," said Ziggy, wisely hedging

Yeah - then you could move on to stunning Shabnam. Fired from McDonald's, Shabby wouldn't be a bad looking horse if her teeth fitted into her weirdly protruding mouth. Which they don't.

"I like to think I'm the queen of my road," she shrieked. That's the road to nowhere. But over to Chanelle's wannabe WAG rival Charley. And the unemployed lap dancer who gives herself 10 out of 10 for looks (I'd give her a charitable five), swiftly revealed: "I'm a size zero." She was talking about her brain. "I'm a South East London IT girl," she added. The "SH" is silent.

Sorry - but now it's time to be bored in stereo by the twinsufferables. The funniest thing about identical idiots Sam and Amanda is they're studying to be social workers. The mind boggles.

I find these Olympic-standard airheads really scary. I haven't understood a word from either of them so far.

Are they English? Or do they communicate exclusively through a coded system of constantly jumping up and down and squealing? But never mind what I think. Listen to a leading global expert on irritating twins.

The Cheeky Girls mother Margit took one look at stupefying Sam and Amanda and told BB's Big Gut host Chris Moyles: "They are the most annoying people in the world."

Enough said. After the race row and useless C4's grovelling on-screen apology, there are fears that fed-up fans may stage a mass boycott. We'll see.

But it's a more jaded game now - and there are worrying signs that earsplitting host Foghorn McCall simply cannot grasp this.

"Anything goes on Big Brother doesn't it?" she shouted.

Not any more Davina. No wonder they're saying this could be her last series. Fingers crossed. But back to the house - and the big news is that old bat Lesley (whose fake posh accent is becoming more Cockney by the hour) has peed in the shower.

This happens every year. Change the record - it's stuck. Lesley's pretending to be 72. She's actually 80.

I like caring Carole and buxom Laura, the obligatory funny Welsh accent contestant whose friends call her "Wangers".

And I'm impressed by allegedly upper-crust Emily's love for this brand new kind of music called Indy. Talk about cutting edge!

The all-girl launch didn't work. And dullard Ziggy is too tedious to deliver the sexual tension we so desperately need.

The former singer with Northern (end of the) Line who has dated Abi Titmuss (who hasn't?) revealed: "I was at Jennifer Lopez's 30th birthday barbecue." Serving the hotdogs.

But let's not forget Nicky. Or rather let's.

Source: Sunday Mirror

[Callum]

Thanks for that

[InTheFade]

Lol for someone who doesn't seem to have much respect for most of the housemates, he/she obviously enjoyed watching them long enough to gather all that up. I can only go on what I've seen so far but I agree with some of it - I don't like Shabnam at all, for someone who admittedly does look a bit like a horse (no offence to anyone who thinks she's hot, each to their own), she's really up herself ("I'm just looking at how sexy I look!" in the mirror) and I do like Laura as well. I'm gonna have to watch a bit more carefully before I actually have an opinion that other people might agree with 'cause I've probably missed loads.

[Ruth*Star]

Thanks for that!

[PATS]

loved the song the twins made up fa shab

i'm shab
i'm hot
i'm everything ur not.

[big-mouth]

is it just me, or does ziggy look a bit like a skelington?

[Ella]

Yeah - then you could move on to stunning Shabnam. Fired from McDonald's, Shabby wouldn't be a bad looking horse if her teeth fitted into her weirdly protruding mouth. Which they don't.

LMAO! That made me laugh so much for some reason!