[reecejackox]

I would say

Insecurities about looks.

[Swan]

Alcoholic mother. A cock of a father.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by Swan

Alcoholic mother.

Snap, my mums alcoholism/depression/suicide attempts dominated my teens.

Neither of them were “bad” or didn’t treat me well and I was fine in terms of having a nice house, having money, etc. But both of them had totally “checked out” by the time I was 12 (and it started when I was younger than that) so I basically didn’t have any sort of active parenting. Nice roof over my head and well stocked cupboards, which I guess is more than some have, but that was it… I otherwise fended for myself through my teens. My mum was lost to her issues and my dad worked most of the time and was just otherwise… quiet. In hindsight I imagine he was extremely stressed.

What that looked like was: 12 to 14, I barely left my room other than for school. I had a TV, a PlayStation, and an old PC with AOL chat rooms in there and that was life.

15+ more or less the same Sunday to Thursday and then weekends were a haze of drinking and parties until I left home at 19.

Mainly I just remember being extremely lonely, even in my later teens when I had a tonne of friends. Living with people who don’t talk to each other is torture tbqfh. Just silence and tension.

[Cherie]

My Dad died when I was 15 so grief as well as well as my Mum struggling financially

[Tireur]

My parents separated when I was 17, and subsequently divorced, but I don’t feel that I was affected much, I loved them both and they were good to me all their lives.
My biggest teen struggle was trying to have my wicked way with Jennifer N., who was in my class at grammar school, no dice, the nearest I got was a swift peck at the back of the classroom.
Then along came Carole L., who gave me anatomy lessons that no teacher could equal, my mother couldn’t understand it, I’d be up, washed, hair combed, and gagging to get to school an hour before school time!

[Crimson Dynamo]

Lack of elevation above sea level and distance from an automated hourly reading weather station so could never find out what the night min and day max's were for my town (pre-internet days)

[ThomasC]

God.

Everything

Deep and personal thread this.

It’s nature vs nurture. If we don’t form a primary caregiver within the first 6 months of life then one particular scientist would say that we will struggle to form and maintain them throughout the rest.

Our childhoods shape us.

I was an extremely sad and lost person. I only ever wanted to be happy. I think this forum saved me at times because I didn’t really have anything else. It was escapism and fantasy.....you replace the reality with fantasy because sometimes life gets too hard to handle.

.....but it gets better!!... you just need to help yourself sometimes, but that can be extremely difficult.

I won’t go into particular reasons.

[ThomasC]

Originally Posted by reecejackox

I would say

Insecurities about looks.

I don’t think that goes away but can get better.

People’s words can stick, particularly over a prolonged period of time.

[ThomasC]

My advice now is.... get some help.

Life’s a journey not a destination.

Turn off your computer and do something.... have a purpose.

Go travelling, get a qualification, meet people and be fabulous.

And remember, everyone is probably just as insecure as you and everyone HAS issues. Talk about them.

[Livia]

You seem like you've conquered your demons, Thomas. I'm glad for you... and your advice is solid.

[ThomasC]

Originally Posted by Livia

You seem like you've conquered your demons, Thomas. I'm glad for you... and your advice is solid.

I get there and thank you very much

[Livia]

Lookin' good, Thomas!

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by ThomasC

My advice now is.... get some help.

Life’s a journey not a destination.

Turn off your computer and do something.... have a purpose.

Go travelling, get a qualification, meet people and be fabulous.

And remember, everyone is probably just as insecure as you and everyone HAS issues. Talk about them.

…Thomas……I think also that realising that we all have our insecurities, our ‘demons’ etc and things that have and can restrict us…?…helps to find that fabulousness that we all have as well…we have those insecurities but we have our strengths as well and we can often perceive our strengths as weaknesses when they’re very much the opposite and such a strength….I’m glad that you seem to be feeling so much great stuff in your life and sense of self, which you so should……

[ThomasC]

Originally Posted by Ammi

…Thomas……I think also that realising that we all have our insecurities, our ‘demons’ etc and things that have and can restrict us…?…helps to find that fabulousness that we all have as well…we have those insecurities but we have our strengths as well and we can often perceive our strengths as weaknesses when they’re very much the opposite and such a strength….I’m glad that you seem to be feeling so much great stuff in your life and sense of self, which you so should……

Yes, I agree.

I don't know about feeling so much great stuff in my life, but just trying to think positive.

and thank you.