[Mrluvaluva]

From Anorak

IS Shanessa really called Shanessa? Is anyone called Shanessa? Is it a Vanessa-Sheila combo. The head of Vanessa Feltz on the body of Brookside’s Sheila Grant. Or vice-versa.

Shanessa lacks the bitchiness of Charley. Rowing is not her thing. So she settles upon the second route to stardom by displaying her primary sexual characteristics.

But we don’t want to see them. Those breasts. Those legs. Those buttocks. Shanessa gives the housemates her lapdance. A shock to we who saw lapdancing as way to keep fit. Shanessa looks about as fit as Noel Edmonds in a nylon thong.

Says Shanessa: “I’ve worked as an escort, worked in a massage parlour and know a couple of porn stars.”

She invites us: “I think I need to be told to shut up.” But Charley is not there to tell her. Charley has been vote out. Viewers had enough of her vile behaviour.

So Shanessa goes on. And now she’s in the halfwit house with David the Pagan, Kara-Louise the girl who cries with both barrels and Tracey.

Poor Tracey. The raver has been voted into the halfwit house because, as hero-martyr Ziggy - out to 59-1 to win - put it, she is made of strong stuff. The people outside the house will not boo her. They will blow whistles and vibrate to the music in their heads.

But Tracey will not go. She’s 7-1 to finish the show in the top 4 and it’s worth a bet.

David will go. David is 529-1. These are the longest odds to win the show this season. You can get 150-1 on Shanessa playing prop forward for Wales in the World Cup final.

Which on the face of it looks like a decent punt…

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