[LEE]

These were on another forum I frequent Some I have heard before, but not all of them.

Sorry guys. (well not really lol )


GOD created men before women because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece.

THE only woman who knows where her husband is every night is a widow.

MEN are like microwave meals: they're both finished in 30 seconds.

HUSBANDS are like fires.They go out when unattended. (Zsa Zsa Gabor)

NO MAN is worth your tears, and when you find the man who is, he'll never make you cry.

NEVER trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

THE heart of a man and the bottom of the sea are unfathomable. (African saying)

MEN are like fine wine.They all start out like grapes and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.

ONLY the wisest and the most stupid of men never change. (Confucius)

IF YOU want to sacrifice the the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. (Katharine Hepburn)

MEN are like mascara - they tend to run at the first sign of emotion.

IF YOU can send a man to the moon, why can't you send all of them?

MEN are like parking spaces: the good ones are already taken and the ones left are either too small or disabled.

A HUSBAND is what is left of a lover after the nerve has been extracted.

WOMEN who seek to be equal to men are lacking in ambition.

MEN are like photocopiers: you need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

A WOMAN needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle, (feminist writer Gloria Steinem)

IF MEN were more like coffee they'd all be rich, warm, and keep you up all night.

WHY are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women? (Virginia Woolf)

MEN are like textbooks - you have to spend a lot of time between the covers to gain a small amount of satisfaction.

WHEN you see what some girls marry, you realise how much they must hate to work for a living.

MEN are like lawnmowers: they're hard to get started, emit noxious odours and half the time they don't work.

IF A woman had to choose, she'd favour beauty over brains because she knows most men can see better than they can think.

MEN are like adverts: you can't believe a word they say.

IT'S not the men in my life that counts - it's the life in my men. (Mae West)

MEN are like chocolate bars: sweet, smooth and heading straight for your hips.

If YOU want to get rid of a man in a hurry, tell him you want to marry him and have his babies.

SOME of my best leading men have been horses and dogs. (Elizabeth Taylor)

MEN would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

MEN are like placemats: they show up only when there's food on the table.

IF A man prepares you dinner and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he's serious.

MEN are so dumb they think they can help their team win by shouting at the television.

MEN are like animals: messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but they can make great pets.

IT IS a truth universally acknowledged that a single man
in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. (Jane Austen)

A WOMAN of 35 thinks about having children. A man of 35 thinks about dating them.

SLEEPING with a man is like a soap opera. Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished till next time.

BLONDE jokes are short, so men can remember them.

MEN will cook only if danger is involved - that's why they like to barbecue.

NEVER try to teach a man how to do anything in public. He can learn in private - in public he has to know.

MEN are like holidays - they never seem to last long enough.

MEN are like horoscopes: always telling you what to do and usually wrong.

IF YOU want anything said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman. (MargaretThatcher)

THE trouble with women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. (Cher)

I MARRIED beneath me. All women do. (Nancy Astor)

A DEAF husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple.

FEW women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

MEN are like coolbags: load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

A MAN with half a brain is ..; gifted.

MEN want to marry virgins because they can't stand criticism.

BEHIND every successful man, there's another man waiting to stab him in the back.

WISE men never say what they think about women. (Samuel Butler)

[BusyBee]

Saw these yesterday in the paper and I must say there are some home truths amongst them.

As you say Lee

Sorry guys. (well not really lol )

I'm now waiting for the opposite version - not that there could be one - we females are all perfect aren't we

[Di2001]

Thanks for that LEE

[rachb]

these are great LEE

[James]

hmm...

[James]

I noticed this in the paper this morning, thought it was quite interesting/amusing. Was going to ask what you thought. Might as well put it up here...

[James]

...

[James]

Any comments?

[Amy]

Like those LEE