[xDramatick]

.

[Sam!]

Thats trickyy. post pics of both and everyone can compare and say whos fitter? Then that might help :|. Yeh im no help in this situations. OO and ask your friends, they would be more help than us lot maybz?

[Magic]

Hm... ill be back

[Locke.]

Just ask yourself Who you see yourself having the best future with, and which ever one of them that is then you should go with them.

[Shaun]

Right, it sounds to me like the relationship with your current bf isn't so strong if your mind is wandering like this... but obviously you care about him too much to dump for the college-guy [shall refer to them as BF and CG now ].

So, I'd recommend that you genuinely find out if CG is more than just a fling. You need to make sure he's really interested, and there's a future [obviously not for life, but still.] before you commit.

If you have more in common with CG and you're having doubts like this, I think the relationship with BF isn't for you, however hard you might find it to end it.

[Chemicle]

Originally posted by Darenn
Right, as most of you know, I'm sixteen, and I've been with my twenty-four year old boyfriend for nearly six months.
I absolutely love him, I really do. He's given me so much, he's changed me for the better and we've get on amazingly. The age gap has always been a slight concern, and he's always said that when I'm old enough to go clubbing, i'll dump him for someone more fun, or that when i go to college, i'd fall for someone younger.
&I think that's happening.

I started college about 3 weeks ago and met this openly gay guy [who i must say, i thought was attractive] last week, backstage, just before I was due to go on and perform. Now he's specializing in dance so he's in the other class to me [i'm specializing in drama] but he's always waiting for me after my classes. Even today, he was only due to be in for the morning, and me, the afternoon but he waited around in college for me. He's my complete type [whereas my boyfriend is everything my type isn't, yet i'm still very attracted to him] and I just. don't know.

I love spending time with him, he's my sorta person [as opposed to some of the guys at college =\] and we really do have a laugh, a joke around and flirt [i flirt openly with most people, so that's nothing new, it's just a part of me]. He's told a lot of my mates that he fancies me, and he knows that I'd go for him if I was single, but he knows very well that I've got a boyfriend whom I'm in love with.

I don't know what's wrong with me. When I'm with this guy, I really enjoy myself and I actually miss him when he's gone. Yet when I'm with my boyfriend, I just think 'i don't need anyone else, i have him'. My boyfriend knows details about him, but he says he trusts me, but feels agitated that there's another guy who's my exact type that fancies me.

I can't leave him. I actually can't. It'd kill the pair of us. I refuse to cheat, I'd never do that to him either. Yet I really like the guy at college. I don't what's wrong with me. I'm only sixteen and I'm in a relationship with someone who I could see myself happily being with for the rest of my life. We never argue, we're almost the perfect couple. Yet.. I don't want to be with one guy all my life, and I don't want to leave it too late. Saying that, I don't want to lose him. I'm extremely lucky and I can't.. believe I'm even typing this now. Perhaps I just can't deal with the guy at college liking me? I don't even know anymore.
Everyone at college raves about how such a great couple we'd be, which doesn't help. They're always like 'oh you and him should get together' and stuff, and I'm just like 'I have a boyfriend'.

I start seeing all the negatives in my current relationship [his liking to get drunk often, how difficult he is when he is drunk and i'm sober, his smoking which he refuses to give up] and despite these being little things that barely touch the sides, they seem exaggerated when I think about the other male.

I just really need advice before I get myself caught up in even more of a mess.

I realize that you can see yourself living with your boyfriend for the rest of your life, but think about it. Would you be happy with him ? in 10 or 20 years time maybe ?

If yes, then you should just tell the other lad that you just wanna be friends.

If no, then you need to break it off with your boyfriend, but if you got with this guy in college would it be a long or short term relationship, it must be really hard for you in a situation like this, just think it over.

[Hugo]

Well this is gonna sound so Dawson's Creek. But what the hey.
Write a list of the pro's and con's of each and then follow your heart.
Don't cheat, you could end up loosing both of them whereas if you're honest you can stay friends with one a be with the other.

[hannah.]

Originally posted by David_Purdy
Just ask yourself Who you see yourself having the best future with, and which ever one of them that is then you should go with them.

that's bollocks.
i'm 16 aswell, and I can't imagine being with one person from now til forever, and he's already said he doesn't wanna be with one guy for the rest of time.
I'd say leave it. Stay with your boyfriend and see how things go with him, and how things go with the college guy. If in 3 months you still really like him, then go for it. If not, you'll regret it if you do now

[King]

If there's more problems than ways to fix the problems in your current relationship, I'd call it quits. It's been a good 6 months and at the end of the day you're only 16 - you've got plenty of time to explore your choices, go into relationships and come out of them.

If the college guy is your age, it's more appropriate as they're likely to share your interests and your sense of humour, you've already expressed how much you like being him, missing him etcetera. You don't have to cheat on him, you can end your current relationship (it'd be easier if he was drunk) and try things with the new one.

[Locke.]

Originally posted by hannahhhh

that's ********.
i'm 16 aswell, and I can't imagine being with one person from now til forever, and he's already said he doesn't want to be with one guy for the rest of time.
I'd say leave it. Stay with your boyfriend and see how things go with him, and how things go with the college guy. If in 3 months you still really like him, then go for it. If not, you'll regret it if you do now

Didn't realize he'd said he was 16.

[LemonJam]

Honestly, I think what tooperfect said is a great idea but I'd stay as you are for now.

If you start to feel less feelings for one of them, then is the time to make the decision in my opinion.

Good Luck Darenn

[Tom]

If your mind is looking away from your current relationship then maybe its not as strong/worth it as you think?

[Annie]

I know how you feel just now as I am in a VERY similar situation just now (apart from the gay thing.. but its two guys)

You need to really think about what your relationship will be like in a year or so.. think of how long you will be at college with this guy. What if you get with the college guy and then things go wrong? you will then need to see him every day at college and be upset about you both not working out.. and you will also loose the friendship and banter that you have at college which could then ruin your career in the long run.. BUT thats only if that turns out badly.

Are you loving your current boyfriend as he is older and able to support you? He might treat you well and look after you financially as well as emotionally which you could get used to in the long run..

I really dont know what you should do as I'm just throwing thoughts and things about here but you could loose your boyfriend who you are in love with... but then you could be missing out on a chance with this new guy you have more in common with.. and when you have more in common with someone you tend to love them more than someone who didnt share the same interests as you.

Seriously though if I was you.. I would just leave things just now.. See what college guy can offer and if he would be serious. Look at your relationship with your boyfriend, see what you would change etc.

And if all else fails..

Go with the hottest one.

[Z]

It could just be the case that you're getting bored of being in a comfort zone, Darenn. Imagine your boyfriend as being like your favourite pillow, everything's comfortable, but then a new pillow comes along, and you like the look of it. At first, you think you don't care, but then you start criticising the old pillow, and begin to think you'd rather have the new pillow.


Enough of this pillow talk. (ahaha. Wit.)

I think you're just going through a mid-life crisis in terms of your relationship with your boyfriend, you don't know this new guy at all, so whatever you decide upon, make sure you leave it for a good few weeks so you can start to find flaws in new guy. He might not have any, but it's always better to be safe than sorry. Just get to know him, see if you really do have lots in common or if there are things he says and does that grate on you.

I think you should stick with your boyfriend. Six months is a long time, and to be at the age that you (and I o.o) are at, and to have held down a six month relationship without any major hiccups until now is very impressive. This is your first relationship test, do you really want to leave when the going gets tough? That's how I'm reading it, but obviously that's from a 3rd party perspective.

Give it a few weeks before you act on any decision you've come to, you might find you've changed your mind again

[Spike]

Hard one
You have to look at your relationship with your boyfriend and ask yourself, are you happy, do you really like him and is the relationship strong enough to sustain problems like this?
You have know this guy for 3 weeks whereas your boyfriend alot longer. Your boyfriend must love you so much because of the age gap and he is still with you even though maybe he could be doing more with someone closer his age.
Decide on who you will have a better relationship with and stick with them

[AlexBigBrother]

Originally posted by Spike
Hard one
You have to look at your relationship with your boyfriend and ask yourself, are you happy, do you really like him and is the relationship strong enough to sustain problems like this?
You have know this guy for 3 weeks whereas your boyfriend alot longer. Your boyfriend must love you so much because of the age gap and he is still with you even though maybe he could be doing more with someone closer his age.
Decide on who you will have a better relationship with and stick with them

ive got a hard one, goodnight

[xDramatick]

Thanks for the responses, I thought I'd leave this and take a shower.

Scampi;; ha. nice one. i would but i'd rather keep their identities rather secret. hence why I haven't mentioned either of their names.

David_Purdy;; yeah, I'm sixteen

Shaun;; I know =| It always feels stronger when I'm with my bf. He seems to think that CG would just be a fling but then again, surely that's what he'd say anyway? I just really don't think I could end it with my bf. I honestly wish my bf had come into my life a few years later when I could be ready for a more serious relationship.

Chemicle;; I can see myself WITH him in 10/20 years, and happy-ish. I honestly think the only regret i'd have is that he'd be my only ever boyfriend. That makes me sound like such a slag but i'm only sixteen? i don't want to devote my life away.

tooperfect;; I may just try that, thanks.

Hannah;; I'm glad someone else understands that I don't want to be with one person for my life. I know I've got the time to see if things change, though it's putting me+my bf's relationship under strain since I'm frustrated, and he obviously doesn't like the thought of someone else potentially taking me away from him.

King;; that's an interesting view actually. My bf's changed me a lot as I've said, and a few months ago, I'd easily be able to end it, rather bluntly actually. He's calmed me down a lot and I don't want to hurt him. He's drunk often so that wouldn't be difficult. There's been times where I've actually wanted to walk out of his house because I can't deal with him drunk when I'm sober.

Lemonjam;; thank you<3 My feelings fluctuate. Sometimes I like CG more, other times I can't stop thinking about my bf [lmfao @ shaun'sabbreviations sticking to me].

Tom;; I suppose it's not, I just don't know what to do, whether I want to leave it more time, see how things go or what.

Annie;; I'm worried about that. I don't want to leave my bf who I've got a future with [regardless of how happy] and end up with a two week fling or whatever. He is older, and can support me emotionally/financially; however that also means that a lot of what I do, he disregards because he realizes that in a few weeks/months, it'll be old news. He's been through all that. I might just leave it as you+others have said. As for the hottest one? They're both so different it'd be hard to compare.

Z;; I guess six months is rather impressive, especially considering we've never argued. Been close to it, but we've never gone ahead. I don't want the relationship to start breaking down just because I'm having thoughts about the guy at college. I'm tempted to leave it, as you've said, to find flaws in the new guy, or whether I'm really happy with my bf.

Spike;; I am happy. I was until I found out this guy fancied me. I do really like him, and I've always thought it was strong. I guess 3 weeks doesn't really compare to 6 months. It hasn't even been 3, it's been just about 1 =| My relationships with people just move very quickly. There's so much to the word 'better' which makes it hard.

Thanks for the responses so far. I realize talking to my bf would help but this'd be one thing that'd be difficult to explain. My mates aren't much help either, hence why I've brought it here [the only other place i could think of turning to]

[Annie]

Aw Darenn you are getting me all emotional. Speak to college guy.. maybe meet him away from all your college friends who are saying you would both make a good couple! Stuff it! Do a Darenn Factor! haha But make sure that you don't throw everything anyway.. And post pics. We can vote who is hotter! hehe

But seriously remember its only you that you are doing this for so don't mess up your own life.

[LargeAndInCharge]

what ur parent say bout you going out with a 24 yr old

[xDramatick]

Originally posted by Annie
Aw Darenn you are getting me all emotional. Speak to college guy.. maybe meet him away from all your college friends who are saying you would both make a good couple! Stuff it! Do a Darenn Factor! haha But make sure that you don't throw everything anyway.. And post pics. We can vote who is hotter! hehe

But seriously remember its only you that you are doing this for so don't mess up your own life.

Aww Annie<3
Yeah, we've only been able to speak to each other once away from everyone else, and i preferred that. There was a lot less pressure to flirt/play, and we could talk a lot easier. I might just do that.

I think what I'll do is leave it a few weeks/month. My birthday's coming up so I'll let that pass, I wouldn't want to mess anything up for that. &Then see how my relationships are with both males.

[xDramatick]

Originally posted by LargeAndInCharge
what ur parent say bout you going out with a 24 yr old

haha, they don't know.
Wouldn't bother them anyway, there's been bigger age gaps in my family [including theirs].

[LargeAndInCharge]

oh ryt kk

mind me asking, do they no your homosexual?

[xDramatick]

Originally posted by LargeAndInCharge
oh ryt kk

mind me asking, do they no your homosexual?

nope, they don't know that either.

[LargeAndInCharge]

have you tried goin on homosexuall forum for advice and help.

internet isnt reli the best place m8, give that a try

your all in one boat then and you will be able to understand each other and how you feel

[supernoodles!]

this is just my opinion but
never cheat,no matter what you do.In my own experience if i was in this situation I would stick with bf all the way.Actually I have been in this situation before and I cheated and my bf found out and yeh he forgave me but i know it must be in the back of his mind 24/7 because ive been cheated on by someone i love and i know what it does to you.
However I dont know how you and your bf feel about each other and whos anyone to guess at how long your relationship will last,i think you should just go with the flow,stay faithful to your bf,remain friends with your crush but make clear to him whenever he flirts that your taken and try not to flirt with him at all,even if you are a natural flirt.
If it was ment to happen with the crush then it will,and in time.