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Maru · 20-05-2018, 04:43 AM

I've known several men and women over the course of my life who have broken up with people or refused to date them because they were on the heavier side...

I think many people would find themselves on the heavier side at some point in their life... whether illness or just changes in metabolism as we age (and not changing diet)...

But I have trouble wrapping my head around this idea of rejecting on that basis... I understand not having any attraction at all. But weight is changeable... personality, honesty, character... those things are harder to change (for many people).

Moreover, it's hard to find the right person... I'd hate to think I rejected someone years in the past over vanity... then see them 10-15 years later and find out I can't even turn back time and my criteria was too restrictive...

I dunno, I find the thought itself very assumptive... but I guess those people may feel it's quite assertive of their taste-level.

Mystic Mock · 20-05-2018, 05:01 AM

Tbh I'm not sure as I've never been in that moment.

I would like to think that I wouldn't break up with someone over something so shallow, but I just don't know.

Brillopad · 20-05-2018, 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maru

I've known several men and women over the course of my life who have broken up with people or refused to date them because they were on the heavier side...

I think many people would find themselves on the heavier side at some point in their life... whether illness or just changes in metabolism as we age (and not changing diet)...

But I have trouble wrapping my head around this idea of rejecting on that basis... I understand not having any attraction at all. But weight is changeable... personality, honesty, character... those things are harder to change (for many people).

Moreover, it's hard to find the right person... I'd hate to think I rejected someone years in the past over vanity... then see them 10-15 years later and find out I can't even turn back time and my criteria was too restrictive...

I dunno, I find the thought itself very assumptive... but I guess those people may feel it's quite assertive of their taste-level.

You can’t truly love and respect someone if you judge them on their weight. In my opinion it would be doing the ‘dumped’ partner a favour as they would see their true colours and be better of without them. They could then move on to someone better.

Cherie · 20-05-2018, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brillopad

You can’t truly love and respect someone if you judge them on their weight. In my opinion it would be doing the ‘dumped’ partner a favour as they would see their true colours and be better of without them. They could then move on to someone better.

Exactly, if you are with someone due to their looks it’s not going to last as looks fade

kirklancaster · 20-05-2018, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brillopad

You can’t truly love and respect someone if you judge them on their weight. In my opinion it would be doing the ‘dumped’ partner a favour as they would see their true colours and be better of without them. They could then move on to someone better.

I agree, Brillo.

I know from experience that someone can 'fall in love' through many different things - physical attraction just one of them (if the most common reason) - and for me, I have often been attracted to strong, independent, intelligent women as much as physical 'looks'.

For even the youngest, most naive and most superficial of people one look at the most handsome of male and the most beautiful of female Film/Pop/Models of recent times and yesteryear will show that physical 'looks' are fleetingly transient and that NO ONE can defeat 'Father Time' or 'Nature'.

Christina Aguilera was NOT a different person because she put on weight and anyway, one man's 'fat' is another man's 'ideal'.

Brillopad · 20-05-2018, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kirklancaster

I agree, Brillo.

I know from experience that someone can 'fall in love' through many different things - physical attraction just one of them (if the most common reason) - and for me, I have often been attracted to strong, independent, intelligent women as much as physical 'looks'.

For even the youngest, most naive and most superficial of people one look at the most handsome of male and the most beautiful of female Film/Pop/Models of recent times and yesteryear will show that physical 'looks' are fleetingly transient and that NO ONE can defeat 'Father Time' or 'Nature'.

Christina Aguilera was NOT a different person because she put on weight and anyway, one man's 'fat' is another man's 'ideal'.

Agree Kirk - besides ‘beauty’ is in the eye of the beholder. Many young girls harp on about some pop star or reality star being gorgeous and blowed if I can see it.

Definitely not too Impressed with the over-made up look either where the naturally pretty look heaps better au-Naturelle. Caked-thick make-up, especially during the day is not a good look for anyone.

Oliver_W · 20-05-2018, 08:35 AM

Someone actually dumping their partner for being/getting fat says more about the dumper than the dumpee. But if someone's attraction just isn't initially triggered by someone who's fat, they can't help that.

user104658 · 20-05-2018, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Someone actually dumping their partner for being/getting fat says more about the dumper than the dumpee. But if someone's attraction just isn't initially triggered by someone who's fat, they can't help that.

This pretty much. You can't control who you are or are not initially attracted to so there's a big difference there.

I personally don't have any issue with people being overweight or even "fat", however it's highly unlikely that I would be interested in someone straight up morbidly obese for example. That's just honesty.

However, if I was with someone and they BECAME morbidly obese it would be different, because I would already love them for who they are.

That said; I would be very worried about them because no one becomes morbidly obese without there being some serious underlying mental health problems. Which, I guess, is relevant to initial attraction as well.

People can become fat just by enjoying food a bit too much and not being active enough. But they can't become debilitatingly obese without having some very real personal issues and in all honesty, it's not a good idea to start a relationship at all under those circumstances.