[Kaz]

From today's Online Sun:

BIG Bruv villain Nick reckons the BB4 lot are a dire sequel to I’m A Celebrity and jungle king Phil Tufnell.

Here’s the first of Nasty Nick’s BB4 diaries.

CAMERON: Bible-basher from obscure Scots isle, sole contribution to date: “Hi, I’m Cameron.”

ANOUSKA: Up for eviction on Friday — rightly so.
Scarily like Mel from BB1. Made error of being too big too early.

FEDERICO: A total t****r, I’m afraid.

GOS: Great beauty — not. Calls himself a chef but looks like the Chef out of South Park.

JON: Cocky, no redeeming feature.

JUSTINE: Token fat bird, but grey and barely watchable.

NUSH: Like Sada from BB1. Slightly freaky, likes chats with animals — so will feel at home.

RAY: Dubliner with character bypass. Will get boot soon.

SCOTT: A downtrodden Scouser and natural-born loser.

SISSY: It’s Cilla Black’s long-lost daughter! Could do well. Most human of the group. But voice can irritate.

STEPH: This prison worker needs to be locked away — but not here.

TANIA: At last some eye-candy in this house of horror. But big teeth a bit like Mr Ed’s.

VERDICT: I’ve not seen a more dysfunctional Big Brother house to blight TV. Half still live at home, most under-achieve — and they’re hardly oil paintings.

Like The UK’s Eurovision flop, they score Nul Points.

I tip Anouska to go first — but hope it’s Jon. Bible bloke Cameron could win — or dull Steph or lardy Justine.

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He's got little room to speak, saying that the housemates are no oil paintings - has he taken a look in the mirror recently?

Obviously been taking writing lessons from the journalists at the Mirror.

If you're interested, there are a couple of stories on Anouska and Federico HERE as part of the same article.

[Amy]

I think this is Nick still trying to keep in the public eye and get some work before it all ends for him completely!

[Janette]

He's living up to his name I suppose, maybe if we ignore him he'll go away!

[Sticks]

JUSTINE: Token fat bird, but grey and barely watchable.

At the risk of my current neutrality, what is wrong with being Grey.

Nicholas Bateman could find himself targeted by the Grey Rights movement.

[Mairi]

He's making a living out of being "nasty" and those comments were nasty all right.

[steve_o]

He is a total prat, if he wrote that lot, never mind nasty. Totally wothout any wits, the idiot. No wonder they all rumbled him.