[Redway]

… a support worker, would you prefer to be assigned to supporting people specifically struggling with their mental health (or complications like it after a brain injury/stroke) or severe/profound (general) learning difficulties?

[Redway]

I’ve done this kind of work before and hated every single minute of looking after people with severe LD (in the most respectful way possible) even if the people I was working with were pretty decent (and they were) so it would have to be mental health. I’d rather get lots of verbal and getting called every name under the sun than nothing at all and having to change soiled pads and doing my best to put them to bed but having to hold them down as gently as possible for 10 minutes because they just don’t want to sleep. You can feed them as on-the-clock as possible, clean and medicate them and try and guide them up to and into bed up to 5 times throughout the night but if they don’t want to go to sleep for you, they’re not going to and they can be quite cheeky in their obstinance over it. So I just haven’t got the patience to look after people with no capacity whatsoever.

A bit of verbal abuse and name-calling is 10 times better than that as far as I’m concerned. At least there you’re dealing with people who can clearly actually talk to you and on a good day are up for telling you interesting stories about their lives and their support preferences.

So yeah. I’m very-much a mental health person. Intensive special needs support would not be my thing. I’m too psychoanalytical and impatient to cope with a stubborn blank slate or give the right kind of support people with low cognitive functioning need.

[Mystic Mock]

I wouldn't want to take my chances with someone that might be really poor with their Mental Health, because I know that I'm the type of person that might accidentally say something that sends them over the edge.

Where as I'd like to think that I could help people with learning difficulties to some extent, don't get me wrong I'd probably make mistakes there as well, but I feel like I'd be better suited for their needs a lot more than people suffering from poor Mental Health.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock

I wouldn't want to take my chances with someone that might be really poor with their Mental Health, because I know that I'm the type of person that might accidentally say something that sends them over the edge.

Where as I'd like to think that I could help people with learning difficulties to some extent, don't get me wrong I'd probably make mistakes there as well, but I feel like I'd be better suited for their needs a lot more than people suffering from poor Mental Health.

I know what you mean. When you’re working with people who have certain vulnerabilities the least you can do is make your terms as comfortable as they can be, because there’s no guarantee that upper management and HR is going to have your back. They might say they do and sometimes they might but if someone turns around to make an allegation around you in MH, it’s your word against theirs and they’re going to be more inclined to make excuses for them (no matter how deliberately foul and triggering their behaviour) than take your own comfort and feelings into account, even if individual staff members have complained about that one resident so many times. They’d rather move you on and enable bad behaviour than have a frank word with the resident half the time so sometimes it is a case of put-up-and-shut-up. Fellow staff’s more likely to have your back if anything goes wrong or allegedly wrong than HR.

Wherever you’re posted to, you want to help them build the life skills they need to ultimately survive beyond the care home/hospital and answer their questions (if they’re the type to ask) but you’ve just got to be careful of overstepping (all in mental health) because it can get taken the wrong way if it’s not exactly what they want to hear and that can be used against you if one interaction they have with you makes them go off you even if they liked you before and that’s something that’s always got to be at the front of your mind whether you’re a mental health nurse, shrink, therapist, mental health support worker or something else that has you dealing with people really struggling with certain mental health challenges. You can’t overstep their boundaries and you can’t let them overstep yours. No-one’s going to advocate for your boundaries on the job (besides fellow staff who know what it’s like and try to do just that) so you’ve got to carve your own way there. You don’t have to answer every question they ask if it makes you feel uncomfortable or it’s too personal. Even if you think they can reflect on your own experiences and use them to their psychological advantage. They might appreciate it but they might not. So you’ve really got to cover your back at all times and know that no-one else is going to do it for you. It tends to be more about their protection than yours but you have a right to feel comfortable too.

[Zizu]

Well I’ve workedsupporting and working with autistic / Aspergers / disabled / MLD / SLD / SPLD teenagers for decades and all I can say it that as rewarding as it has been .. it’s taken such a heavy toll on my own mental health .


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[Redway]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Well I’ve worked for practically 28 years supporting and working with autistic / Aspergers / disabled / MLD / SLD / SPLD teenagers and all I can say it that as rewarding as it has been .. it’s taken such a heavy toll on my own mental health .


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The most important thing is that you find somewhere right for you if you do work in care or healthcare generally, whether you’re there for a couple of months while you’re doing your Master’s or a bit longer (etc.). Some people are contracted to one place and either get moved on onto somewhere else or quit that particular post (because the place was too chaotic or unclean for their liking, or whatever) and go bank for places they’re actually comfortable getting stuck into a bit of work in and find it’s the best thing they ever did in that field. There’s no point working somewhere you feel uncomfortable when you’ll get paid the same in a place you actually like.

Some care homes can be very, very dirty so if you’re a bit of a neat-freak (at least when it comes to other people’s mess), that’s gonna take its toll. Working in filth only comes with so much willingness to put up. When your office chairs are covered with bin bags because the state of them’s that bad and that’s what you’re expected to sit on, a person has to wonder where the hell they’re working and if it’s worth it to degrade themselves to that level. Chances are, you ain’t paid enough to sit on bin bags. Everyone up to even Kim and Aggie can be untidy up to a point at times but some of those raggedy places are beyond minging. And ultimately people can do better. Unless they’re the sort of people who working in the most disgusting of environments doesn’t bother them and would happily eat their rice and butties off those floors. Me, I’d probably be out quicker than Barry White could say bass. I wouldn’t even eat an apple in there but I would find somewhere cleaner and more decent. Save having to run to Asda every shift for lunch. In places like that, support workers deserve to be treated a lot better than they are. Having to take on the lack of self-respect in the environment and let it affect you just isn’t sustainable long-term.

So long as you’re fulfilled doing what you’re doing and staying on top of your psychological well-being while you’re there anyway. You can’t let stuff like that take too much of a toll on your mental health because that wouldn’t exactly be fair on you.

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by Redway

The most important thing is that you find somewhere right for you if you do work in care or healthcare generally, whether you’re there for a couple of months while you’re doing your Master’s or a bit longer (etc.). Some people are contracted to one place and either get moved on onto somewhere else or quit that particular post (because the place was too chaotic or unclean for their liking, or whatever) and go bank for places they’re actually comfortable getting stuck into a bit of work in and find it’s the best thing they ever did in that field. There’s no point working somewhere you feel uncomfortable when you’ll get paid the same in a place you actually like.

Some care homes can be very, very dirty so if you’re a bit of a neat-freak (at least when it comes to other people’s mess), that’s gonna take its toll. Working in filth only comes with so much willingness to put up. When your office chairs are covered with bin bags because the state of them’s that bad and that’s what you’re expected to sit on, a person has to wonder where the hell they’re working and if it’s worth it to degrade themselves to that level. Chances are, you ain’t paid enough to sit on bin bags. Everyone up to even Kim and Aggie can be untidy up to a point at times but some of those raggedy places are beyond minging. And ultimately people can do better. Unless they’re the sort of people who working in the most disgusting of environments doesn’t bother them and would happily eat their rice and butties off those floors. Me, I’d probably be out quicker than Barry White could say bass. I wouldn’t even eat an apple in there but I would find somewhere cleaner and more decent. Save having to run to Asda every shift for lunch. In places like that, support workers deserve to be treated a lot better than they are. Having to take on the lack of self-respect in the environment and let it affect you just isn’t sustainable long-term.

So long as you’re fulfilled doing what you’re doing and staying on top of your psychological well-being while you’re there anyway. You can’t let stuff like that take too much of a toll on your mental health because that wouldn’t exactly be fair on you.

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.
Your response was much appreciated !


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[Redway]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. My time in secondary education is coming to an end at just the right time .. just a few more months and I’m done

I just wish I had gotten out at the time Covid first hit our shores as it’s been far more demanding physically and emotionally.


Your response was much appreciated !


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Haven’t got a clue about your individual circumstances and how exactly it was worse for you during Covid but what I do know is that if you’re not comfortable in one particular place, the management’s crap or you feel like your progress is being stifled (starting somewhere new and it taking forever and a half to sign you off as being medication-competent, even though you’ve been doing it for decades with your eyes closed), leave. Support work and stuff like it is challenging enough as it is. If you hate where you’re based it’s not going to work.

I’ve heard stories about how one place was without a manager for months in a row twice and it was left to the staff to manage, amongst all sorts of other appalling things that just wouldn’t run if that particular place was functioning in the right way. I’m surprised that terrible place is still going. Giving it too much of the rear end when it comes to enabling one or two particular residents and essentially throwing the staff under the water in the process is a red flag that signifies the need to get out of that place immediately. Better to hand in a resignation note and find somewhere more decent than work in appalling conditions like that. And when people do find somewhere better to work (in general but let’s just use support work as a point of reference since we’re talking about that), they get stuck in properly because they’re allowed to and actually comfy where they are, so it’ll be the best thing they ever did or experienced in that line of work. Working in filth that a Health and Safety inspector would have a field day about and where it takes forever just to get anywhere with them or have y’all concerns taken seriously just isn’t necessary, no matter how lovely the staff are. Chances are, they deserve better too. Definitely excuse yourself and run if sitting on second-hand bin-bags is what they want to reduce you to. Sometimes management will get back in touch to individual people who’ve moved on (not least because they want them back) but they’re usually not people anyone would want to hear from again once they’ve moved onto something or somewhere better.

[Mystic Mock]

Are some Care Homes really dirty then?

I honestly wouldn't have thought that would be good hygiene standards.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock

Are some Care Homes really dirty then?

I honestly wouldn't have thought that would be good hygiene standards.

Some are super-clean and state-of-the-art beyond belief (to the extent that they even have salons inside). Some are just ridiculously raggedy and filthy. If you’re a bit of a clean-freak, you’ll be set off and extremely uncomfortable working in the latter type of place. Places like that are just lucky health and safety aren’t round more often to inspect hygiene, ’cause they’d just be shut down on the spot.

What I’ll say is that wherever you are, you have the right to feel at least relatively comfortable where you work when there’s every chance of you having to deal with a lot from other people, and to feel like your manager has your back and won’t throw you under the bus. The dirtiest places tend to be the most badly managed and no-one doing that kind of work needs to put up with that when there are better, cleaner places that pay the same or better (like I say). Doesn’t have to be pristine but at least decent.

I do feel like in jobs like this, individual staff tend to look out for each-other but people still end up leaving in droves if management doesn’t have their back or they have a bit of Kim and Aggie (or just certain standards) in them and just don’t want to work in filth. It’s the staff that keep places like that going, not the higher-ups.

[Oliver_W]

I've not worked in mental health support work, but I have been a TA for both Pupil Referral Units and SEN.

I'd much rather be spat at in the face, than wipe someone's chin.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

I've not worked in mental health support work, but I have been a TA for both Pupil Referral Units and SEN.

I'd much rather be spat at in the face, than wipe someone's chin.

Which is why I’d rather do mental health support work than LD support work. Haven’t got the patience to deal with people with no capacity at all (not saying they’d the face for SEN/pupil-referral, of course). There are different layers and levels to both but from my experience you’ve got to watch out for narcissists, especially if they’re young. That goes for every walk of life and job (it could be that your CEO is a narc. but it could also be a patient or your solicitor) but especially in any kind of healthcare setting, because they will try and get you in trouble and then accuse other people of turning you against them. And when the manager doesn’t have your back, you move on and hopefully find somewhere better.

Likewise, people with *certain* shades of borderline personality disorder cause mayhem in hospital settings and get nurses and doctors arguing and in mini World War III, but that’s different because BPD is a genuine illness (not just toxic personality style) that people can sympathise with. Either way, the worst thing you can do is encourage or enable a narcissist’s bad behaviour and if no-one has the clearance to stand up to them and make them accountable for their bad behaviour, it’s doomed from the off.

Whatever their other reasons for struggling are, a narcissist will always be a narcissist and that much is absolutely intentional. You don’t make excuses for them and let them carry on without setting boundaries or allowing appropriate boundaries to be set. They might thank you for it today but in ten years’ time they’ll be even more entitled and lacking in genuine empathy and wondering why no-one held them accountable for anything at any point or why they weren’t allowed to. If they feel like people are ganging up on them for a minute, that’s just too bad and that’s the truth. But when complaint after complaint is made about one particular person and management/HR just don’t do anything but keep letting them get away with it and abuse other people, better know that they would throw you under a triple-decker to save that one bad apple’s skin. And all it takes is one bad apple. One rotten apple and everyone’s unhappy and incredibly uncomfortable. An awful lot of people haven’t got a clue how to correctly deal with a narcissist either. It’s better to just not get involved at all but if you do, not enabling them is just as important as setting tight boundaries with them.

[Ninastar]

I work with Autistic kids and I love it

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Ninastar

I work with Autistic kids and I love it

……I think the kids probably love that you work there with them too…

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by Ammi

……I think the kids probably love that you work there with them too…

Aww thank you!

I was out one day last week with a migraine and one the kids actually cried and then prayed for me lmao. He also drew me two very beautiful pictures!

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Redway

Some are super-clean and state-of-the-art beyond belief (to the extent that they even have salons inside). Some are just ridiculously raggedy and filthy. If you’re a bit of a clean-freak, you’ll be set off and extremely uncomfortable working in the latter type of place. Places like that are just lucky health and safety aren’t round more often to inspect hygiene, ’cause they’d just be shut down on the spot.

What I’ll say is that wherever you are, you have the right to feel at least relatively comfortable where you work when there’s every chance of you having to deal with a lot from other people, and to feel like your manager has your back and won’t throw you under the bus. The dirtiest places tend to be the most badly managed and no-one doing that kind of work needs to put up with that when there are better, cleaner places that pay the same or better (like I say). Doesn’t have to be pristine but at least decent.

I do feel like in jobs like this, individual staff tend to look out for each-other but people still end up leaving in droves if management doesn’t have their back or they have a bit of Kim and Aggie (or just certain standards) in them and just don’t want to work in filth. It’s the staff that keep places like that going, not the higher-ups.

Well speaking for myself I wouldn't want to work at a place that looks like it hasn't been cleaned in 20 years.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock

Well speaking for myself I wouldn't want to work at a place that looks like it hasn't been cleaned in 20 years.

Yh, no, you wouldn’t. Cleaning the hallways every shift (as some people would) might seem very over-the-top and showing only the most extreme side of cleaning conscientiousness that just-about still gets a pass for not being neurotic but at the end of the day someone’s got to do it. Someone’s got to do ir at the best of times but especially in places that get dirty easily and are only frequented by a cleaner once every fortnight. If you’re the sort of person who’s not comfortable working in environments full of other people’s mess, it’s either the sporadic cleaner is gerring off their bum-bum and scrubbing or you are. Come and see mpoto-mpoto (mud), treaded-on crisps and just all sorts of crap on the stairway in some workplaces and you’ll lose your appetite for the whole day.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Ninastar

Aww thank you!

I was out one day last week with a migraine and one the kids actually cried and then prayed for me lmao. He also drew me two very beautiful pictures!

…and your migraine went, so the power of prayer…and the power of pictures drawn with love and care as well……I imagine that you get joy from every day that you work there….…

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Ammi

…and your migraine went, so the power of prayer…and the power of pictures drawn with love and care as well……I imagine that you get joy from every day that you work there….…

Ugh. Migraines are nasty, aren’t they?

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Redway

Ugh. Migraines are nasty, aren’t they?

…yeah, they’re pretty gruesome, aren't they…one of the triggers for mind is air pressure/weather changes and I’ve had a few recently with the more stormy weather conditions…do you get them also, Redway…?…

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Ammi

…yeah, they’re pretty gruesome, aren't they…one of the triggers for mind is air pressure/weather changes and I’ve had a few recently with the more stormy weather conditions…do you get them also, Redway…?…

Not directly but let’s just say I know how gruesome they can be. My headaches, when they come on, are never migraine-bad in intensity but conventional painkillers don’t cut through. Even tramadol, which is supposed to be strong, does nothing for me. Nothing whatsoever. Not a dicky bird. When I had that torticolis-spasm (basically a trapped nerve in the neck) around Easter, my hot water bottle and time were my saving graces. If I had some sort of CBD/hemp-cream and, like, wintergreen essential oil, I’d have rubbed them on the dodgy side of my neck (left) as-well, but I didn’t, so it was basically between me and the hot-water bottle that weekend. Tramadol, Ibuprofen and paracetamol didn’t even touch the sides, not as far as I could tell.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Redway

Not directly but let’s just say I know how gruesome they can be. My headaches, when they come on, are never migraine-bad in intensity but conventional painkillers don’t cut through. Even tramadol, which is supposed to be strong, does nothing for me. Nothing whatsoever. Not a dicky bird. When I had that torticolis-spasm (basically a trapped nerve in the neck) around Easter, my hot water bottle and time were my saving graces. If I had some sort of CBD/hemp-cream and, like, wintergreen essential oil, I’d have rubbed them on the dodgy side of my neck (left) as-well, but I didn’t, so it was basically between me and the hot-water bottle that weekend. Tramadol, Ibuprofen and paracetamol didn’t even touch the sides, not as far as I could tell.

…laser treatments and acupuncture are great for nerve pain/can be very effective…anyway, hopefully it’s not something which will reoccur…