[Mystic Mock]

I'm going to try and write on here some Comedic scenarios in the form of chapters.

And yes a lot of it will probably end up getting political.

I'm planning on making it an Anthology, that's not to say that I won't revisit certain jokes and characters if I really feel like it, but in general I think that it's easier for me to make each chapter be more of a stand alone.


Here's some of the chapter titles that I've come up with as a bit of a teaser.


Chapter 1 - Blondephilia
Chapter 2 - Mandy Flack
Chapter 3 - The Woke Agenda
Chapter 4 - Punditry
Chapter 5 - Gary Neville
Chapter 6 - Incels Vs. Feminists
Chapter 7 - Not Even Likable
Chapter 8 - The Police
Chapter 9 - Only Names In The Building
Chapter 10 - Orange Man Bad
Chapter 11 - Orange Man Saviour
Chapter 12 - Where Are The Anime Girls?
Chapter 13 - It's Manchester United
Chapter 14 - The Society
Chapter 15 - Star Wars Fans On A Rampage
Chapter 16 - Pink, Green & Blue
Chapter 17 - Not All Korean Men Are Hot?
Chapter 18 - Armpit Lover
Chapter 19 - TalkSport
Chapter 20 - Zombies Playing Cricket
Chapter 21 - I Was Just Being A Nice Guy
Chapter 22 - MAPS
Chapter 23 - Ignorance Is Bliss
Chapter 24 - The Tates
Chapter 25 - The Beckham's
Chapter 26 - Failing Upwards
Chapter 27 - Grandma Loving
Chapter 28 - Jock Vs. Dweeb
Chapter 29 - The Male Gaze
Chapter 30 - Agalmatophilia
Chapter 31 - Not All Korean Women Are Hot?
Chapter 32 - I hate Stellar Blade, But Love Bear Sex
Chapter 33 - Furries Unite
Chapter 34 - Cat Abuser Versus Racism
Chapter 35 - The Modern Audience
Chapter 36 - Don't Make Me Do This!
Chapter 37 - The Triangle Killer Part 1
Chapter 38 - The Triangle Killer Part 2
Chapter 39 - The Triangle Killer Part 3
Chapter 40 - The Triangle Killer Part 4
Chapter 41 - A Slave's Perspective
Chapter 42 - Are All Indians Muslim?
Chapter 43 - Do Tomboys exist?
Chapter 44 - Not Gary Neville
Chapter 45 - Instead It's Alan Shearer
Chapter 46 - Andy Gunther, The Idiot
Chapter 47 - Two Wongs Make a right

I don't know when I'm going to actually write the first chapter tbh, but I hope that I can get people on here to enjoy what I'm trying to go for.

I think that we all need a bit of Comedy in our lives after all.

[Mystic Mock]

I'm excited so I'm going to start now.

And just a reminder that I will be using a lot of language that I personally wouldn't really want to use away from Comedy.

I honestly don't intend to offend anyone.

Playing With Fire: Blondephilia

In Birmingham, Alabama, there was a chubby man in his early 30's wearing a Fedora Hat, white vest, and shorts in his Mom's Basement.

He was eating Cool Original Doritos and Drinking Mountain Dew whilst watching two Blonde women on PornHub.

Chubby Man: "Forget Lord Of The Rings, this is absolute Cinema."

The Chubby Man starts getting giddy with excitement the more this Film continues it's narrative.

Chubby Man: "We're getting close to the climax looking at how much time is left."

Just as the Chubby Man was getting close to finishing the Movie, his Phone starts ringing.

Chubby Man: "What is it Phillip?"

Phillip is the Chubby Man's only friend. Phillip is also in his early 30's, has long greasy brown hair, and he likes to do Pheromone Maxxing.

Phillip: "You need to go on X, Caleb."

Caleb: "Why?"

Phillip: "Because the greatest news ever is happening, away from finally entering a relationship with my Sister that is."

Caleb: "Please don't remind me of that, it makes me feel insecure that I can't get no pussy."

Phillip: "Well this might be the next best thing for pathetic losers like yourself, go and search up Sydney Sweeney."

Caleb: "I already have watched her on Deepfake Porn sites, she's heavenly but I'm never going to get with a ***** like her."

Phillip: "Well my little charmer you just need to search for her video on X, and you'll see why we both need to get an order each of Dr. Squatch Soap."

Caleb searches up Sydney Sweeney on X and finds the video.

He discovers the fact that Sydney Sweeney is collaborating with Dr. Squatch Soap Bar which contains her used Bathwater.

Caleb: "Well this is my Birthday and Christmas rolled into one, and I thought that 50 Shades Of Blondes was going to get me off."

Phillip: "What do you think?"

Caleb: "Let's go and order some Sydney Sweeney Bathwater, I want her filth inside of me forever."

Caleb starts licking his lips.

5 months later.

Caleb's Mom is in her early 60's, and she has dyed her hair blonde and she is currently wearing Leather clothing.

Caleb's Mom is coming down the Basement to see what Caleb is doing.

Caleb's Mom: "Caleb what's wrong?"

Caleb is on his Computer.

Caleb: "Why do they keep reporting about these black women going missing? I only care when it's blonde women."

Caleb's Mom: "Why does your skin look so dirty?"

Caleb: "I don't know what you mean you stupid slut."

Caleb's Mom: "Don't talk to me like that Caleb... You know that turns me on and we both know that shouldn't happen."

Caleb: "As hot as you are Mom you're no Sydney Sweeney or Margot Robbie, or Sabrina Carpenter."

Caleb's Mom: "Stop with the dirty talk."

Caleb's Mom starts feeling all hot and bothered.

Caleb's Mom: "And besides Sydney Sweeney's face looks like it's been hit by a truck."

Caleb: "Come on Mom, there's no need to lie."

Caleb's Mom runs upstairs crying.

Caleb starts rubbing the Soap on his penis.

Caleb: "Oh yes, round 27 is starting really strong."

Meanwhile at Burger King, Phillip and his Girlfriend/Sister are trying to order twelve Double Whoppers with Fries and a Doughnut.

Phillip's Girlfriend/Sister has blonde hair, very well portioned chest area, and she's in her late 20's, and wears glasses.

Phillip's Girlfriend/Sister: "Listen Rodrigo, we want twelve Double Whoppers, Fries, and a Doughnut for my hunky boyfriend here, now get to it!"

Mexican Burger King Worker: "But my name is David."

Phillip's Girlfriend/Sister: "Same difference in my eyes."

David: "I don't want to serve you guys, you're horrible."

Phillip: "Tough **** Hernandez."

David: "Why are you being so mean?"

Phillip's Girlfriend/Sister: "Don't be such a girl, we want our food prepared by a big, strong man. Which you could be if you stopped whining like a bitch, Javier."

Phillip's Girlfriend/Sister starts doing flirty gestures which turns David on, even though he knows that it's wrong because she's horrible.

David: "I'm on it."

Phillip: "I wonder what's up with Caleb? He has gone quiet recently."

Phillip's Girlfriend/Sister: "He is probably masturbating to some Taylor Swift Deepfake Porn."

Phillip: "He better not be, she's a Democrat voter."

Phillip's Girlfriend/Sister: "He loves all blonde women though, do you remember when he tried to make out with the dying Dinner-"

Phillip: "Whoa! I don't need to be reminded of that, he scarred me for a whole year after doing that."

Phillip's Girlfriend/Sister: "And he thought that I, Molly Fitzgerald would go out with him even though I'm a gorgeous woman, what planet was he on when he thought that was a good idea?"

Phillip: "To be honest I still can't believe that you chose me."

Molly: "Well as our parents like to say, it's best to keep it in the family."

They both start laughing.

A few hours later.

After eating some of the Dr. Squatch Soap to keep Sydney's dirt inside of himself forever, Caleb started mutating into a Supermodel.

To be precise he started looking like one of those guys from BTS.

Caleb: "Oh my god, I'm a hot Korean guy."

To be continued at a later chapter.

Hopefully you guys enjoyed it, despite the fact that I had the characters say some pretty outlandish stuff.

[Mystic Mock]

As it's been awhile, I'm going to try and write three chapters right now.

Wish me luck.

[Mystic Mock]

Playing With Fire: Mandy Flack


In Dallas, Texas, there is a beautiful looking woman with dark hair, small frame (but not childlike thankfully,) and tattoos on certain parts of her body.

Her name is Mandy Flack, and she is doing a stream currently in a Nun outfit, and wielding a chainsaw in her hands.

Mandy: "With Games like Tomb Raider going all gay and woke, we need to start boycotting the Games, just to show that we don't want their perversion in our Video Games. This Satanic bullcrap just to make the he/she's feel better about themselves."

Mandy starts looking around the room.

Mandy: "Sorry guys, I thought that I heard something, but it must've just been my imagination. Anyway as someone of Christian faith I don't want a Troon in my Video Games, which Lara Croft in the Reboot Trilogy was pushing Tomb Raider closer to that than any other version of Tomb Raider had before it, obviously that abomination of a TV Show by Netflix being far worse with Laurence Croft as the lead character, because that dude certainly weren't Lara Croft if you get what I'm saying."

Meanwhile in Birmingham, Alabama. We are seeing Phillip and Molly watching Mandy Flack's Stream.

Molly: "What is this bint going on about? I wanted to hear her talk about the influx of N-word in Video Games, not about a man loving another man, which is perfectly normal."

Phillip: "I don't really watch for her opinions to be honest."

Phillip starts having a big grin on his face.

Molly: "I bet you don't, pervert."

Phillip: "Is it really being perverted to appreciate a beautiful woman?"

Molly: "But she's not even your usual type?"

Phillip: "I'm more open-minded to other types of women than Caleb is, hence why I'm in a relationship with you, despite how blood tight we are."

Molly: "I do love how close we are to each other... On the family tree I mean."

Molly starts blushing.

Phillip: "What is Mandy doing?"

Molly turns her attention to the Computer screen, and what both of them see is a sight to behold.

Mandy has now stripped off completely naked, the views for the Stream are shooting up by the millions, because not only is Mandy's beautiful body exposed for everyone to see. But she has got an effeminate looking man tied up and mouth-gagged.

Mandy: "I saw this freak handing out Candy to a 12 year old boy yesterday at McDonald's, so I drugged his Coca Cola to knock him out, and I have my Chainsaw ready to take this monster's head off."

Mandy has a lightbulb moment in her crazed mind.

Mandy: "But first, I'm going to show him what being with a woman is like, so enjoy boys."

But just as Mandy starts to thrust herself at the man, the Police smash into her house, and enter her bedroom.

Phillip: "Noooooooooooooooo!"

Molly starts looking at Phillip with a furious expression on her face.

Phillip: "Was it a bit over the top?"

Molly: "What do you think?"

Phillip: "Couldn't they have waited until she'd ****ed him?"

Molly: "No! What is wrong with you?"

Phillip: "What isn't wrong with me is what you should be asking?"

Meanwhile with Mandy and the Effeminate Man being questioned at the Police Station, a few hours later.

Effeminate Man: "This crazy bitch saw me interacting with my Nephew, and I'm not even gay, I have a Wife and three kids."

Policewoman: "Do you remember anything else before she abducted you?"

Effeminate Man: "She kept asking me about one of those missing black women, about had I seen her anywhere."

Policewoman: "Which one?"

Effeminate Man: "I think she said that her name was Beyonce Knowles, or was it Kelly Rowland?"

The room went into awkward silence.

Policewoman: "Why did Mandy want to know where one of these girls had gone?"

Effeminate Man: I'm assuming that they were Lesbians, I mean the black woman in the picture that Mandy showed to me, was nearly as hot as Mandy herself."

Policewoman starts groaning in frustration.

Policewoman: "I'm sorry for giving you an illegal interrogation by the way, but I desperately needed to know what was happening."

Effeminate Man: "That's okay, I do suggest that you put a bag over your head in the future though.

To be continued at a later chapter.








I know that I'm not fully perfecting my jokes just yet, but hopefully I will end up getting there in the end.

[Mystic Mock]

Playing With Fire: The Woke Agenda


The Policewoman and her male Police Partner are interviewing Mandy Flack in the interrogation room.

Policeman: "Why didn't you pick me to want to attack?"

The Policeman starts crying pathetically.

Mandy: "Well I didn't know that you existed, otherwise I would've given you a nice, big ****, handsome."

Policewoman: "Really!?"

Mandy: "I'm up for anything as long as they're white men who are straight, and follow the Christian faith."

Policeman: "I go to Church every opportunity that I get."

Mandy: "I'm sure you do, handsome."

Policewoman: "You seriously need to borrow my glasses."

Mandy: "I can see just fine."

Mandy starts doing flirty gestures towards the Policeman, which he is eating up like a Rabbit who has discovered a truck full of Carrots.

Policewoman: "Anyway, did you ask Gareth Watkins about the disappearance of Makosi Gatwa?"

Mandy: "Yeah, so what?"

Policewoman: "What did you want to know?"

Information about Mandy's motivations will be revealed in a later chapter.

The Policewoman is called Megan Uglymug.

Megan is 44 years old, she has really short dark hair, she has a flat chest, is wearing a Police Uniform, and she has a huge nose and broken teeth, and wears glasses.

The Policeman is called Tyson Smith

Tyson is 24 years old, and he has broken teeth, bald head, and really thick amounts of hair on his chin (a Beard basically,) Tyson also wears glasses.

Meanwhile in London, UK, a 47 year old man named Connor Wordsworth, who has a bald head and is slightly overweight, is in his Bedroom making a YouTube video about the Mandy Flack situation.

Connor: "She's 38 years old for god sake, how does she still look so good? Anyway I think that we all saw the Stream where good friend of the Channel, Mandy Flack stripped off naked and started thrusting herself onto a man in a BDSM sex session, to teach him to love adult women instead of little boys."

Connor starts getting all gammon in the face.

Connor starts shouting at the top of his lungs.

Connor: "THE POLICE ARE A DISGRACE IN THAT STATE! HOW DARE THEY TELL MANDY THAT SHE CAN'T HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH A MAN ON STREAM TO PREVENT HIM FROM MOLESTING CHILDREN, ESPECIALLY THE MORE IMPORTANT HALF IN LITTLE BOYS."

Burger King Worker David Hernandez, is watching Connor Wordsworth's Stream.

David: "What is this guy going on about? He needs to be put on a watchlist."

In the middle of Connor's rant, his head explodes on YouTube's Live Stream.

David: "What the heck! I'm calling the Police."

But before David calls the Police, a hooded figure comes into Connor's room and hijacks the Stream.

Hooded Figure: "Hi, my name is The Woke Agenda, and my aim is to promote diversity, equity, and inclusivity, accept for Jewish people that is."

David: "Excuse me!"

Hooded Figure: "We need to think about how black people have been mistreated throughout history 24/7, we need to think about Mental Health 24/7, climate change 24/7, and LGBTQIABC 24/7. We also need to think about the Patriarchy and especially the Male Gaze, men must not find women attractive unless approved by women first, and there can be no Fatphobia in your preferences either otherwise you're a bigot."

David: "Coming from the lunatic that killed someone, go and **** yourself."

David knew that the Hooded Figure couldn't hear him through the screen, but he vented still regardless.

Hooded Figure: "Israel need to be removed from Eurovision."

The rant from the Hooded Figure goes on for awhile.

Hooded Figure: "Believe in Gary Neville, The Woke Agenda out."

To be continued in another chapter.









I did promise to write another one today, but I am currently tired due to this heat, so I'll spare you all... For now.