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Old 28-10-2008, 09:55 AM #1
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Default Suicide and depression

What are your views on suicide and depression,personally I think there is just niot enough done to prevent it and not enough awareness about depression.As someone who has suffered from it myself and also has to deal with it in my family (my mam is bi polar) It frustrates me that while there is so much emphasis placed on other disease`s/disorders (depending on what you believe in) ,people still refuse to take depression seriously

Both depression and suicide are topics that are very personal to me,one of my best friends killed herself when she was 13,my uncle killed himself when I was 11 and a close family friend also commited suicide when I was 9.Just last year my neighbour (lives opposite me) ,aged 23 hung himself in the home he was sharing with his grandma who was on holiday at the time.His body was left undiscovered for 6 days and the way inwhich the police dealt with the discovery appauled me.
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Old 28-10-2008, 09:59 AM #2
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Its horrible to think that someone can be that upset that they kill themselves and know that nothing was done about it. Its terrible, there should be more help avalible.
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Old 28-10-2008, 09:59 AM #3
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yeh its sad there should be more psychotherapy available. it seems to be a postcode lottery at the moment. Sorry to hear about your family anyway.
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Old 28-10-2008, 10:04 AM #4
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its ok,ha i sound like i live a right depressing life lol I diddn`t mean it to sound that way
I think there needs to be more awareness of it shown in tv as well.I like that fact eastenders touched on it (bi polar disorder) with Stacey mum although they do tend to make her out like a right fruit loop and that can lead people into thinking that all people who are bi polar act like that.When I tell people they often say 'oh so she is like Staceys mam of eastenders or Kerry Katona?'
hmmmm not really.lol.
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Old 28-10-2008, 10:07 AM #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by JustJake
Its horrible to think that someone can be that upset that they kill themselves and know that nothing was done about it. Its terrible, there should be more help avalible.


I know,it seems to follow me around for some reason.It was really sad when they discovered my neighbour,I mean he was a horrible man ,messed up with drugs and used to be violent towards his gf but to think that he was hanging from his staircase that close to where I was for that amount of time is really awful.Not sure if it was the police or the undertakers decision but they actually brought him out through the front door in the middle of the street which i thought was wrong.
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Old 28-10-2008, 10:07 AM #6
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This is a topic that is also close to my own heart.

I am bi-polar myself and know only to well that the services available are very lacking. Getting the intital help is the main problem in the first instance, you end up passed from pillar to post until someone takes ownership of the situation. Many mental health teams are ill equipped to deal with you and struggle to offer the support needed.

I have also lost several friends to suicide, it is devestating for those of us they leave behind, but I can totally accept that they feel there is nothing left to live for and that it is just to hard. They make a choice to end their suffering and we have to accept that it is their choice to make, heart breaking that it is. I have felt those familiar feelings of anger, and rage towards a dear friend who killed himself and just couldnt believe that he would leave me like that, but over time I realise it was about him and not me.
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Old 28-10-2008, 10:08 AM #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by supernoodles!
Quote:
Originally posted by JustJake
Its horrible to think that someone can be that upset that they kill themselves and know that nothing was done about it. Its terrible, there should be more help avalible.


I know,it seems to follow me around for some reason.It was really sad when they discovered my neighbour,I mean he was a horrible man ,messed up with drugs and used to be violent towards his gf but to think that he was hanging from his staircase that close to where I was for that amount of time is really awful.Not sure if it was the police or the undertakers decision but they actually brought him out through the front door in the middle of the street which i thought was wrong.
Very wrong. People should have more respect...
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Old 28-10-2008, 10:13 AM #8
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I used to feel the exact same way about my friend too sunny_01,perhaps because I was so young but my first reaction wasn`t sadness,there wasn`t even a sense of loss at first,I felt abandoned more than anything and couldn`t understand why,then I was angry and it turned to resentment for a little while.Eventually though,over time and as I got older,the same as you I began to realsie that it was about her.
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Old 28-10-2008, 10:15 AM #9
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It's horrable and it happens . I have lost 3 friends to suicide, wasn't good i was with one of them at the time. I understand why they did it but it doesn't make it right. I hate it but i can see why they do it.
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Old 28-10-2008, 10:15 AM #10
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Its sad hearing stories of people who lose their lives young.
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Old 28-10-2008, 10:16 AM #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by JustJake
Quote:
Originally posted by supernoodles!
Quote:
Originally posted by JustJake
Its horrible to think that someone can be that upset that they kill themselves and know that nothing was done about it. Its terrible, there should be more help avalible.


I know,it seems to follow me around for some reason.It was really sad when they discovered my neighbour,I mean he was a horrible man ,messed up with drugs and used to be violent towards his gf but to think that he was hanging from his staircase that close to where I was for that amount of time is really awful.Not sure if it was the police or the undertakers decision but they actually brought him out through the front door in the middle of the street which i thought was wrong.
Very wrong. People should have more respect...
It must just be the way its done though,and I diddn`t realise it,his clothing was partially visible still as he was laid on the stretcher which just seemed disrespectful even more so.I mean there are alot of kids in our street,they play outside the houses ,my sister herself was only 8 at the time,it is a very confusing message to give to children
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Old 28-10-2008, 10:18 AM #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by supernoodles!
Quote:
Originally posted by JustJake
Quote:
Originally posted by supernoodles!
Quote:
Originally posted by JustJake
Its horrible to think that someone can be that upset that they kill themselves and know that nothing was done about it. Its terrible, there should be more help avalible.


I know,it seems to follow me around for some reason.It was really sad when they discovered my neighbour,I mean he was a horrible man ,messed up with drugs and used to be violent towards his gf but to think that he was hanging from his staircase that close to where I was for that amount of time is really awful.Not sure if it was the police or the undertakers decision but they actually brought him out through the front door in the middle of the street which i thought was wrong.
Very wrong. People should have more respect...
It must just be the way its done though,and I diddn`t realise it,his clothing was partially visible still as he was laid on the stretcher which just seemed disrespectful even more so.I mean there are alot of kids in our street,they play outside the houses ,my sister herself was only 8 at the time,it is a very confusing message to give to children
Was the body not even covered up, that is so disrespectful.
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Old 28-10-2008, 10:19 AM #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by JustJake
Quote:
Originally posted by supernoodles!
Quote:
Originally posted by JustJake
Quote:
Originally posted by supernoodles!
Quote:
Originally posted by JustJake
Its horrible to think that someone can be that upset that they kill themselves and know that nothing was done about it. Its terrible, there should be more help avalible.


I know,it seems to follow me around for some reason.It was really sad when they discovered my neighbour,I mean he was a horrible man ,messed up with drugs and used to be violent towards his gf but to think that he was hanging from his staircase that close to where I was for that amount of time is really awful.Not sure if it was the police or the undertakers decision but they actually brought him out through the front door in the middle of the street which i thought was wrong.
Very wrong. People should have more respect...
It must just be the way its done though,and I diddn`t realise it,his clothing was partially visible still as he was laid on the stretcher which just seemed disrespectful even more so.I mean there are alot of kids in our street,they play outside the houses ,my sister herself was only 8 at the time,it is a very confusing message to give to children
Was the body not even covered up, that is so disrespectful.
yeah it was covered up totally,his face wasn`t visible or anything it was just the sides were open,you could see exactly what he was wearing
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Old 28-10-2008, 10:21 AM #14
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Its still a very sensitivesubject though, and its horrible to think that something really bad could've happened to us and we would actually kill ourselves. Its a terrible feeling...
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Old 28-10-2008, 12:42 PM #15
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Theres a lot of ignorance about depression. Most people think its just being very unhappy and it can be changed by cheering up, but its an imbalance of hormones which is something that can't really be helped. I think thats why it isn't taken so seriously, because people just assume that someone depressed is just someone very unhappy.
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Old 28-10-2008, 01:30 PM #16
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When I was in year 8 my best friend killed herself because she was being bullied, and we had a like garden bit where when someone who went to my school died we'd plant a tree and the bullies chopped it down [it wasnt like massive lol], and the school didn't do anything about it. They didn't even seem to care, it was awful. For about a year after that I had depression and it's so weird, nobody seems to care really? I know e3xactly what you mean about it not having almost enough awareness about it
My dad's depressed at the moment and is doctor's given him pills but he's refusing to take them because last time he did they made him feel really "weird" apparently
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Old 28-10-2008, 01:55 PM #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tom
Theres a lot of ignorance about depression. Most people think its just being very unhappy and it can be changed by cheering up, but its an imbalance of hormones which is something that can't really be helped. I think thats why it isn't taken so seriously, because people just assume that someone depressed is just someone very unhappy.


Theres not a lot of support from people today unless they have plenty of money then people want to talk to you.
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Old 28-10-2008, 03:35 PM #18
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A woman who lived across the road from me committed suicide last year, she'd locked her front door so that her little boy wouldn't come home and find her dead body, but the poor thing had been sitting outside the house for hours (we'd walked past him and everything, and had been considering inviting him into our house because obviously he wouldn't have a mobile phone to phone his dad etc.) and then a neighbour called for the police to see if they could find out what was going on... Very sad. That's the only case of suicide that's affected my life, in that I knew the woman, but it's not something I'm familiar with so I can't really pass comment.

I know a girl who claims she is depressed. I say claims, because she's a very attention seeking sort of person (crying wolf and all that, I don't know whether to take her seriously) which is bad of me, I suppose, because if she really is depressed and it's a cry for help - I'm ignoring it. But, a recent example, she signed into MSN and spoke to me for the first time in a while, the usual Hey/how are you thing, then she said "I'm signed out from college due to depression." followed by "But I'm in Florida at the moment, at least I get a longer holiday!"

My question to anybody who's been depressed before is - if you are depressed, do you ever feel open enough to speak about it, and to "look on the positive side" in the way that she did? It's easy for me to scoff and say she's contradicted herself, she's made some kind of optimistic statement, she's clearly not depressed, but I've never suffered from depression before, so I don't know what it's like.
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Old 28-10-2008, 08:15 PM #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by Z
A woman who lived across the road from me committed suicide last year, she'd locked her front door so that her little boy wouldn't come home and find her dead body, but the poor thing had been sitting outside the house for hours (we'd walked past him and everything, and had been considering inviting him into our house because obviously he wouldn't have a mobile phone to phone his dad etc.) and then a neighbour called for the police to see if they could find out what was going on... Very sad. That's the only case of suicide that's affected my life, in that I knew the woman, but it's not something I'm familiar with so I can't really pass comment.

I know a girl who claims she is depressed. I say claims, because she's a very attention seeking sort of person (crying wolf and all that, I don't know whether to take her seriously) which is bad of me, I suppose, because if she really is depressed and it's a cry for help - I'm ignoring it. But, a recent example, she signed into MSN and spoke to me for the first time in a while, the usual Hey/how are you thing, then she said "I'm signed out from college due to depression." followed by "But I'm in Florida at the moment, at least I get a longer holiday!"

My question to anybody who's been depressed before is - if you are depressed, do you ever feel open enough to speak about it, and to "look on the positive side" in the way that she did? It's easy for me to scoff and say she's contradicted herself, she's made some kind of optimistic statement, she's clearly not depressed, but I've never suffered from depression before, so I don't know what it's like.
If your friend is on medication then yes she probably is ok to talk in that way about it and to still feel positive about the future.

My bi-polar is "mainly" controlled pretty well and I am a positive person who can always look forwards, yet when a depressive episode hits I cant think straight, I cant function and it can turn really quickly. Now I know bi-polar is completely different but it is in principal very similar. I say as long as she has hope that things will get better then thats great.

On the flipside of there not being enough services there is a huge strain on the ones we have with those who are not actually depressed, just unhappy trying to get onto the sickness list to avoid work who are using up valuable services. People are very quicky to say they are depressed these days, I would rather be telling people when I am really well to be honest.
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Old 29-10-2008, 06:06 AM #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by Z
A woman who lived across the road from me committed suicide last year, she'd locked her front door so that her little boy wouldn't come home and find her dead body, but the poor thing had been sitting outside the house for hours (we'd walked past him and everything, and had been considering inviting him into our house because obviously he wouldn't have a mobile phone to phone his dad etc.) and then a neighbour called for the police to see if they could find out what was going on... Very sad. That's the only case of suicide that's affected my life, in that I knew the woman, but it's not something I'm familiar with so I can't really pass comment.

I know a girl who claims she is depressed. I say claims, because she's a very attention seeking sort of person (crying wolf and all that, I don't know whether to take her seriously) which is bad of me, I suppose, because if she really is depressed and it's a cry for help - I'm ignoring it. But, a recent example, she signed into MSN and spoke to me for the first time in a while, the usual Hey/how are you thing, then she said "I'm signed out from college due to depression." followed by "But I'm in Florida at the moment, at least I get a longer holiday!"

My question to anybody who's been depressed before is - if you are depressed, do you ever feel open enough to speak about it, and to "look on the positive side" in the way that she did? It's easy for me to scoff and say she's contradicted herself, she's made some kind of optimistic statement, she's clearly not depressed, but I've never suffered from depression before, so I don't know what it's like.
Z, I think it's a valid question that you ask, and I have to agree with Sunny's answer. I suffered from depression a few years ago, and came extremely close to suicide (there certainly is not enough help or information available to people, but I was lucky in that I had a superb Doctor, to whom I genuinely believe I probably owe my life). I was still able to make 'jokes' if you can call them that about it - mainly to people I did not know so well. To those closest to me, they were the ones who saw the real anguish, but those who were not so close....I almost felt embarrassed talking to them in anything other than a half joking tone (not that there is anything to be embarrassed about).

I have lost people to suicide - reading this thread, it's sad to see how many people here have lost people in that way, or been touched by suicide in some way. As much as if someone is feeling suicidal, I would want to help them, because I know from my own experience, that there can be a way through to a happy life; I also appreciate that it is their life, and they have the right to end it if they want to. Sometimes I wonder if we should try and stop people killing themselves if that is their desire. A lot of people are in agreement with euthanasia, and believe that people who are physically ill have the right to die. What about those with emotional issues? I don't mean to sound harsh, and repeat that if I had a friend who was suicidal, I would want to help them get through it rather than killing themselves - obviously - but sometimes I wonder if I want to keep people around for my own sake. I don't know...I will have to think on it some more.
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Old 29-10-2008, 06:48 AM #21
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It is worth pointing out there are bodies who can help such as the Samaritans

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Old 29-10-2008, 07:48 AM #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by Z
A woman who lived across the road from me committed suicide last year, she'd locked her front door so that her little boy wouldn't come home and find her dead body, but the poor thing had been sitting outside the house for hours (we'd walked past him and everything, and had been considering inviting him into our house because obviously he wouldn't have a mobile phone to phone his dad etc.) and then a neighbour called for the police to see if they could find out what was going on... Very sad. That's the only case of suicide that's affected my life, in that I knew the woman, but it's not something I'm familiar with so I can't really pass comment.

I know a girl who claims she is depressed. I say claims, because she's a very attention seeking sort of person (crying wolf and all that, I don't know whether to take her seriously) which is bad of me, I suppose, because if she really is depressed and it's a cry for help - I'm ignoring it. But, a recent example, she signed into MSN and spoke to me for the first time in a while, the usual Hey/how are you thing, then she said "I'm signed out from college due to depression." followed by "But I'm in Florida at the moment, at least I get a longer holiday!"

My question to anybody who's been depressed before is - if you are depressed, do you ever feel open enough to speak about it, and to "look on the positive side" in the way that she did? It's easy for me to scoff and say she's contradicted herself, she's made some kind of optimistic statement, she's clearly not depressed, but I've never suffered from depression before, so I don't know what it's like.
Yeh I'll just echo Sunny and Ruths answers really. People can make jokes about their situation its kind of like a coping thing or sometimes just putting on a front. I work in mental health and have suffered from depression but noone would have known only my family and close friends. And even the most distressed of the people I see can sometimes come out with a joke about their situation and can be in hysterical laughter but still quite unwell. Its a funny old world mate
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Old 29-10-2008, 08:01 AM #23
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I've suffered from depression for over 10 years now and its getting worse as I get older. After moving back to Rutland I am very grateful that I have one of the best Doctors in my catchment. He thinks that rather than just pile pills on me and hope for the best, we should explore why I am like I am.

He sent me to the mental health team here in Rutland. I had to wait ages for an appointment and I finally got to see an Occupational Therapist (OT) to 'assess' me.

I was told to be prepared to talk about things and to go with a diary of how I was feeling over the past month or so. I sat with her for over 2 hours and poured my heart out. She brought things out to the surface that I have suppressed for many many years and now those scars are very much open and exposed. Making things so much more worse than they were when I started.

She said that she would go back to her team and discuss the next step.

I didnt get very far because they dont have the funds to help me, apparently, on the back of this OT's 2 hour assessment of me I have a 'personality disorder' so they turned me away

So I am back to square one, being completely spun around with horrid mood swings which can turn so quickly, self loathing and hatred, obsessive compulsiveness that goes way beyond normal. And manic highs that get so out of control that I have to take a valium to bring me down from the ceiling that leave me with lows so bad that I have to way up if its worth being here having to cope with the horrors in my head.

If it wasnt for my kids and Red then I would have taken my life because right now its hell in my head.
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Old 29-10-2008, 08:46 AM #24
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Sorry to hear that KiZZa! There is a serious lack of therapy available and pills are never going to get to the cause although they can help. Have you thought about going private. A mate of mine did that in the end, although its expensive. some psychotherapists will negotiate fees that are more affordable. I really think it would make a world of difference. Good luck with it mate and you can recover, you have so much to keep you on that road for a start! Oh and dont worry about the personality disorder tag, thats just what they say when they cant fit you into another neat box and your not psychotic which is great news!!
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Old 29-10-2008, 09:40 AM #25
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Oh and hey I just thought of another thing. We had this woman come into work to talk about some alternative type therapies! Im normally quite sceptical but she showed us this thing called the emotional freedom technique, you can look it up on the net. It sounds really hippy dippy but she cured my boss of her spider phobia in 5 minutes!Not the same thing I know but its worth a try its good for all manner of emotional problems apparently and she claimed to have helped peoples depression, anxiety..!
And its quick doesnt mean delving to deep into things you might not need to etc. Also theres a group called the Human Givens Institue who are gaining serious credibilty, check them out! they deal with past traumas and stuff, mainly work with soldiers but I think they've extended their services wider. I have a degree in psychology and work in mental health so Im not just picking out random **** I think these have worked for a lot of people.

http://www.hgi.org.uk

http://www.emofree.com/
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