[Red Moon]

The Campaign Trail

With eviction looming, Derek and Eugene have been wondering how their campaigning has been received by the British public.

Taking a morning dip in the pool, it seemed the Tory was hoping to attract plenty of voters to kick him out as he crooned "Free Derek Laud" to the tune of Free Nelson Mandela.

Eugene considered how being up for eviction must be second nature to the speechwriter seeing as, "It's like an election campaign isn't it?"

The boffin pondered how it wasn't simply based on who people like, but also "propaganda and all the electioneering up to it".

"Yes, but I should like to meet the returning officer!" chuckled Derek.

Eugene wished that he hadn't been forced to run against his friend alone, and wondered if there might be any more surprises this week. "That would be funny if it was one big fake and everybody was up!" he snorted hopefully.

But Derek felt his booting out was long overdue. "The b******* let me miss Wimbledon, that's what I'm vexed about!" he grumbled. "Can you imagine anything more hurtful?"

No Derek, that truly is a crime.

Source: Channel 4