[Riz]

FROM OFFICIAL SITE

Sunday 07 January
Day 5, 11:40
Jackiey's bum grumbling puts the wind up Jermaine...

She's gruff, she's buff and there's one more thing you should know about Jackiey - she guffs.

Since her surprise arrival Jade's mum has gained a reputation as a serial farter - and the squeamish Jermaine has just about had enough.

Jackiey unleashed her latest strike in the kitchen this morning, and looked almost surprised by it.

"Pardon me," she said suddenly, as the Masters looked on in a mixture of amusement and horror.

"I did say pardon me," she insisted, as if this token apology would make the smell go away.

But it didn't, and when Dirk the cleaner arrived, the outraged Jermaine informed him that Jackiey had just 'opened a packet of ham'... except he didn't put it like that.

"Whatchacallit just flatulated out there," announced the perturbed singer.

"Who?" asked Dirk, understandably puzzled.

"The mum," replied Jermaine, seemingly unaware of Jackiey's name. "She's been doing it all night."

"Jackiey?" asked Dirk.

"Yeah, she just did it in the kitchen!" said Jermaine, visibly shaken by the event.

Dirk then let out what can only be described as a cackle.

"I don't mean to laugh," he apologised, while laughing. Jermaine shook his head gravely.

"A little gas, huh?" enquired Dirk

"A little?" shrieked Jermaine. "She did it three times in one night, then again the next

morning and just now in the kitchen."

Hold on, so he's been counting?

"In the kitchen!" Jermaine repeated, particularly appalled by this choice of location.

Shilpa then arrived and impersonated a couple of Jackiey's parps for Dirk's benefit, before collapsing on the bed in a heap of laughter. But while the actress could see the funny side, Jermaine seemed harrowed by the experience.

"This flatulation is killing me. I can't deal with this passing of the gas," he muttered, exclaiming again in the same incredulous tone: "Right in the kitchen!"

"Don't strike a match, we'll all blow up," quipped Dirk.

Sounds like someone's been watching too many A-team reruns...

[missbling]

lol did you see the live feed last night it was so funny jackie kept farting and jermaine n shilpa were pissin themselves laughing

[Emilee]

hahaha i watched that live today. it was funny.