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16-04-2014, 04:07 AM
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#1551 | |||
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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16-04-2014, 04:12 AM
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#1552 | |||
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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16-04-2014, 04:17 AM
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Cyber Warrior
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BBC World Service
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Cyber Devils Advocate (Retired)  Fame, Riches, Adventure, Glory - A Cyber Warrior craves not these things In Memorium
Wendy (AKA Romantic Old Bird) 1951 - 2008 |
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16-04-2014, 04:27 AM
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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16-04-2014, 04:35 AM
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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16-04-2014, 04:39 AM
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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16-04-2014, 04:47 AM
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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16-04-2014, 10:34 AM
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#1558 | |||
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Senior Member
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Don't be afraid to be weak. |
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16-04-2014, 10:41 AM
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#1559 | |||
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Senior Member
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Don't be afraid to be weak. |
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16-04-2014, 10:49 AM
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#1560 | |||
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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16-04-2014, 10:54 AM
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Morning Ams. Did you see my post about having a date tomorrow? i'm scared! i've never been on a proper date before. Do you have any dating advice?
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Don't be afraid to be weak. |
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16-04-2014, 11:01 AM
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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..oh my goddness..
 .. ..no I didn't see your post, where are you going, for a meal..to watch a movie..etc..?...I think the thing Alex is (to try..)..not to be nervous or self conscious about it just because it is a date as such because you both already know that you enjoy being with each other so like each other 'just as you are'/Bridget Jones sort of thing so just be yourself and try to relax like you would with any of your friends...but just make sure that you look fabulous so he is bowled over with your loveliness ...
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16-04-2014, 11:06 AM
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well he wanted to go for coffee, but i suggested dinner instead, and he agreed. and yea i get what's your saying about not being nervous. I need to remember a date is about me deciding if i like him, and not focus so much on him liking me. but like i said, i've never done proper dates before, all of my ex-boyfriends i met through friends and already knew before we started a real relationship, so this is my first time going on a date with someone i don't already know.
i need to stop over thinking it, and just focus on getting to know him and having a good time. i'm still scared though.  i can only think about whether he will like me, but i should be equal,ly worried if i will like him. i'm so insecure. a 32 y/o man should not be this insecure if someone will like him or not.
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Don't be afraid to be weak. Last edited by lostalex; 16-04-2014 at 11:08 AM. |
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16-04-2014, 11:21 AM
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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...aww, I don't think we ever get over insecurities Alex, no matter what age we are and of course you want him to like you but you're going on this date because he does like you and he likes you because you're you so that's what he wants to see again/just being yourself and the person he wanted to have dinner with, which I know isn't easy when you're nervous..but remember that he will probably be nervous as well so that already gives you both something to talk about and 'break the ice' type thing..and yeah, you do have to like him as well and this date is just kind of a 'trial' thing..do we like each other to go any further with this thing or is it just a nice dinner..?...for the moment it's just a nice dinner, nothing more/nothing less..no pressure for either of you at all..?..and then if you both do have a great evening and want to see each other again, then that will all just feel natural and there will still be no pressure because it'll mean that you both feel comfortable and relaxed with each other...
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16-04-2014, 11:27 AM
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I'm thinking about if i do like him, should i kiss him? or is that cheesy? like kissing after a date, i think i've watched too many movies, so i'm even over thinking whether or not i should kiss him, if i do like him but i don't kiss him, will he think i don't like him? My head is spinning
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Don't be afraid to be weak. |
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16-04-2014, 11:40 AM
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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..www Alex, you silly little sausage ..
 ..but it already shows what a great guy he's going for dinner with that you give so much thought to things....hmmm, I think that maybe kissing him when he has a mouth full of spaghetti probably wouldn't be the greatest idea...but if you feel the date has gone well and you've enjoyed being with each other and the conversation has flowed, I think it would be ok to kiss him though...it's still no pressure and just a kiss..it's a kind of one step at a time type thing and not thinking beyond that moment if you can..you'll know where those steps are leading to/where you want them to lead and they'll just kind of take you, without you having to think about it.....this song is for you Alex..  ..
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16-04-2014, 11:41 AM
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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..oh and it's not cheesy at all, it's just about the sweetest thing..
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16-04-2014, 11:51 AM
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thanks Ams. you're right, i just need to sound it out as it goes. Love has been happening naturally for millions of years, why am i thinking this date is so damn important? Nature will take it's course.
I just need to surrender. We will just be 2 humans, and i need to just let myself be human.
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Don't be afraid to be weak. Last edited by lostalex; 16-04-2014 at 11:52 AM. |
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16-04-2014, 12:06 PM
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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..it is important though Alex, it's important because it's important to you..but I think that's the thing though...hmmm, it's a bit like if we're nervous or anxious about something bad happening, you know something that we're dreading/that we really don't want to do etc..?..and in out mind it builds into a bit of a 'monster' so it only makes us dread it more...but then the day comes and have to face this thing and most often than not, it's never as bad as we thought it would be, reality rarely is..it's the 'imaginary fears' that have been the real enemy, you know..?...it's kind of similar when it's something we're really excited about, our minds place so much importance on it so we then fear actually being able to 'live up' to that importance and we start getting nervous and scared etc...but the reality when it comes will be that it's just a lovely way to spend an evening with someone nice...and if he's not nice/you don't like him..?..well it was just one evening and you won't ever have to do it again..but it is important to you and because it is you will look amazing ok..I insist on that...
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16-04-2014, 12:15 PM
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Senior Member
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I'm surpsied he even still wants to go on this date, because i've already told him on the phone all of my paranoid thoughts. but he just laughs it off as "cute" and he laughs at me like i'm just being eccentric. i don't think he really knows how anxious i really am, he just thinks my paranoia is "cute" i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. i guess sometimes when i'm ranting about things, it's funny,. i'm like an episode of seinfeld or something.
I don't wanna be "cute" or funny though, i wanna be sexy! I hope I can be sexy. maybe i can be both? we'll see. This is my fantasy lol (i'm such a 90's kid!)
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Don't be afraid to be weak. Last edited by lostalex; 16-04-2014 at 12:20 PM. |
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16-04-2014, 12:34 PM
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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..yeah, I definitely think that you can be cute and sexy, you don't have to just have one of those options...but that's the 'one step at a time' thing though..you've told him about your anxieties and he doesn't think OMG this looney...
 ..he thinks it's cute/you're cute so that's one step and he wants to have dinner with you/meet you, which you will do and that'll be the next step etc...you're already starting to feel better about yourself..?..that's because when you like someone and they like you, you start to see yourself through their eyes, it's not that you've changed or anything...I think we are all just too self critical and see our 'faults' as so much more than they really are and sometimes they are all we see and find it hard to see the so many great things that we are...your anxieties/paranoia's etc are you Alex, they're part of you and anyone who likes you and sees who you are will find them 'cute' but in that it will also help to dismiss those anxieties and feel more confident, you know..?...and then confidence creates 'sexy'...steps, Alex...
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17-04-2014, 04:55 AM
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#1572 | |||
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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17-04-2014, 05:26 AM
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#1573 | |||
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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17-04-2014, 05:30 AM
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#1574 | |||
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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17-04-2014, 10:11 AM
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#1575 | |||
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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