[Hooly One]

The sulky South African was tormented with thoughts that Jay had been sniggering with Victor behind her back and sharing saucy secrets about their "relationship".

"I don't want to be your guy joke!" Vanessa shouted at Jay. The feisty blonde had been feeling "pissed off" all day, worried that the buns of Scottish steel had shared a private joke about her in the bathroom with Victor.

Jay was defensive. "I'm a 30-year-old man. I'm not going to go around saying, "I've touched Vanessa's leg," he protested.

"You seem to think we're giggling like a couple of school girls," the hefty Scot added.

Victor, giggling like a schoolgirl, said: "This isn't college, you know."

Vanessa despaired, she'd hoped for a grown-up chat but Jay seemed to want to blame her for their communication difficulties.

Jay laid the blame at her feet. "You've been around too many w*n*ers, you can't tar all guys with the same brush," he said peevishly. "I would never, ever be nasty," he added.

"Why are using that w*n*er tone?" Vanessa asked angrily.

Don't use me as your plaything


Jay tried a different tack. "Vanessa, love of my life, apple of my eye, is there anything else you want to talk about?" But this did not soothe the 26-year-old's humour and she derided him for his "condescending" tone.

"You can't win," sighed Victor, smirking at the contest between the two warring lovebirds.

Jay was worried that Vanessa has voiced her concerns to other housemates and was particularly suspicious of the long conversation she'd had with Dan earlier in the day.

The Scot was right to be concerned. "Moody, ungrateful prick" and "tosser" was how Vanessa described her snogging partner to the Hull hairdresser.

Goodwill seemed to be restored as Vanessa felt she'd aired her grievances - until Jay tried to draw a close to the conversation.

"I accept your apology," the trainee air steward said grandly.

"I wasn't apologising," screeched Vanessa, launching herself at the wall of Scottish muscle. It's good they've sorted things out, then...

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