[Livia]

Originally Posted by lostalex

omg!!!! gay men are just like every other human being? shocking!

but who has the power?

YOU were saying that heterosexual men are the problem.

Oh, you know what? I give up. It's hard work going round and round in bloody circles.

[Nedusa]

Originally Posted by kirklancaster

There are some really well thought out, well written, valid posts on here from both sides.

However, I always chat to strangers and when I was younger, used to always pay compliments to pretty girls. I've never had a problem, because I believe that it's not only what you say, but also the way in which you say it.

No intelligent, decent, self-assured woman is going to respond to a "You're worth one love" or a "Nice arse" type of remarks from boorish morons - unless it's with a well deserved 'Livia-style' "FK Off creep" retort, and the less confident type of woman has a right to be, and will be, intimidated by such offensive intrusions.

I do not think though, that on an overcast day, if a man smiles at an approaching pretty girl and says; "Morning beautiful - you've just brightened up my day" - or suchlike - that there is anything wrong with this. It is polite, cheery, inoffensive, and not even 'flirty', and in my opinion should be accepted as such by the recipient of the compliment - invited or not.

I truly believe that a man who is armed with a great sense of humour and can make a woman laugh - I mean really laugh - has a great advantage over other men who haven't such a quality when it comes to captivating women.

Obviously this is not applicable if the guy with the humour has the 'head of a crab and the body of a Social Worker' - to quote Woody Allen (who is a classic case in point - look at the beautiful women he's dated) but generally, I hold with my tenet.

I for one, would not have met some of the memorable loves of my life had I not took the first step and paid such 'uninvited' compliments to 'beautiful strangers'.

Just as with 'street peddlers', 'Big Issue' hawkers and 'Survey Takers' - all of whom make uninvited 'intrusions' into a passer by's 'personal space' - a female recipient of a good natured but 'uninvited' compliment from a smiling male, always has several options open to her, including totally ignoring, rudely retorting, or graciously acknowledging the compliment with a smile.

Insulting and offensive remarks to women by dimwitted sexist morons, or all degrees of persistent following or even 'stalking' by sexually inadequate social misfits, will always occur - whether ordinary males make innocuous compliments to passing women or not.

When I was a child, 'our street' had a character - an ageing ex WW2 seaman - who used to get pissed as a newt every payday and would roll up the cobbled street throwing sweets to all the 'urchin' kids from a huge bag of mixed sweets he'd buy from the corner shop on his way home from his dinnertime session at the local pub. He'd do this because he loved children and had lost his own young son during the war. Today this poor innocent, kind-hearted man would probably be stoned as a paedophile.

Why? Because society is fecked up (thank's for that word Arista). Because of our growing awareness now of the -admitted - existence of paedophilia, we tend to overreact and 'tar everyone with the same brush'.

It is a shame, but this same 'sad reality' is just as existent in the subject under discussion, but just because there are a minority of weirdos and sexist creeps out there, we should not censure normal males who just happen to indulge in the 'time-honoured' tradition of paying passing pretty girls compliments.

As for 'ugly girls', then I say that not only is 'beauty' subjective, but also, that I am as likely to say a cheery "Good Morning" or some other 'ice-breaking' comment to a passing 'non-beautiful' female stranger as I am to a passing beautiful one (or to a male for that matter) but - obviously - I am not going to say: "Morning beautiful" if she looks like Ann Widdicombe and her beard needs trimming, because then she will be offended, because she will think I am taking the piss.

Anyway, while I am not trivialising the very real issue of females being 'accosted' or cat-called by loutish cretins, I make an appeal not to confuse that issue with friendly guys making innocuous compliments or other good-natured remarks -- Sometimes; "good morning beautiful, you have just brightened my day" delivered with a smile, can mean just that, and sometimes, any 'sub-textual' meaning, or 'sinister' undertone, is surely in the mind of the recipient.

Good Post Kirk..... but the mindset of the actions you describe ie "morning beautiful" or "you've brightened up my day" is one ingrained in a western,christian, liberal democracy and these comments are acceptable under that mindset.

But today in the UK we are far more multi-cultural and have large numbers of differing religions and cultures. These approaches/comments to say an Asian lady or a Muslim lady may not be welcomed in the same way they would be with an independent, Christian,Liberal woman.

So what was acceptable in earlier times may not be acceptable now, I mean look at the way men in the past used to treat women wrt groping and bottom pinching etc..

I think we have to measure our behaviour against the ruling mindset of the day and if in doubt just say nothing and go on about your business.




.

[Brother Leon]

Originally Posted by lostalex

omg!!!! gay men are just like every other human being? shocking!

but who has the power?

Congrats on ****ing up your own agenda driven post

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Brother Leon

Congrats on ****ing up your own agenda driven post

Ouch!

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Nedusa

Good Post Kirk..... but the mindset of the actions you describe ie "morning beautiful" or "you've brightened up my day" is one ingrained in a western,christian, liberal democracy and these comments are acceptable under that mindset.

But today in the UK we are far more multi-cultural and have large numbers of differing religions and cultures. These approaches/comments to say an Asian lady or a Muslim lady may not be welcomed in the same way they would be with an independent, Christian,Liberal woman.

So what was acceptable in earlier times may not be acceptable now, I mean look at the way men in the past used to treat women wrt groping and bottom pinching etc..

I think we have to measure our behaviour against the ruling mindset of the day and if in doubt just say nothing and go on about your business.

.

Valid points Nedusa, but in my heyday, the UK wasn't as multicultural, and I had (and still have) a certain charm about me when dealing with people in real life, and I was never offensive or insulting, so I never had any problems at all and had only positive reactions - from a smile, to actual conversations ensuing - some of which led to dating.

I stopped wearing denim jeans when I reached 35 years of age, removed my gold sleeper earrings, and stopped chatting to passing women, and there's no way that I would attempt to pay even the most innocuous of compliments to any woman who was not obviously British - even then.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Livia

YOU were saying that heterosexual men are the problem.

Oh, you know what? I give up. It's hard work going round and round in bloody circles.

so I win by default then?

I'll take it!

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Brother Leon

Congrats on ****ing up your own agenda driven post

you didn't answer the question in my post. and my only agenda is pointing out inequality. is that a bad agenda to have?

[Livia]

Originally Posted by lostalex

so I win by default then?

I'll take it!

Yeah, you've finally worn me down. If I had a white flag I'd be waving it.

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Livia

Yeah, you've finally worn me down. If I had a white flag I'd be waving it.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by lostalex

you didn't answer the question in my post. and my only agenda is pointing out inequality. is that a bad agenda to have?

You can walk the streets without being arrested. What more do you want? Sheesh!

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by Livia

I hope you're not calling me a troll, are you Alex?

Gay men, by percentage, are probably just as bad, and just as good as heterosexual men. People are people. Some are black, some are white, some are gay, some are straight, some are good some are bad.

Funny how people say this ALL THE TIME when they want equality, yet they love to blame 'certain' people for other problems.

these people pick and choose when to be offended by something and they choose when something is not offensive

its so hypocritical and pathetic.

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Ninastar

Funny how people say this ALL THE TIME when they want equality, yet they love to blame 'certain' people for other problems.

these people pick and choose when to be offended by something and they choose when something is not offensive

its so hypocritical and pathetic.

Silence, Lesbian!

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by Livia

Silence, Lesbian!

Shut up, Juno... (Jew joke lolol)

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Ninastar

Shut up, Juno... (Jew joke lolol)

LOL... you're going to have to try harder than that you know. Juno sounds positively lovely!

[Ninastar]

im all out of sass today!

[Marsh.]

Get a room you two.

and leave the door open just a tad...

[Ninastar]

no way

i am shutting that door so no disgusting white het men get in and kill us

[Marsh.]