[Matt]

Charley's Diary

CHARLEY announced at the weekend that she is writing a diary and plans to PUBLISH it as an autobiography.

We have found an enthralling extract — printed below — so you can decide whether she is a genius like Charlie Dickens or simply a real loser like Charlie Brown.

MONDAY: So I spent the day sunbathing in my bikini right and I look well fit in it yeah because I’m much skinnier than the other girls I’m just being honest yeah? That Chanelle is such a ming-ah and she’s well jealous of me and that’s why we’re always rowing innit you can aks anyone yeah?

TUESDAY: Today I got up when Big Bruvvah played this really annoying alarm it sounds like a baby crying — all wah, wah — until you get out of bed why does Big Bruvvah do that because it’s like really annoying yeah? It made me tired for the rest of the day because it’s well hard work being as beautiful as me like.

WEDNESDAY: I almost ran out of tobacco which would have been well unfair because Liam’s always hedgehoging my tobacco away — and he pretends to be my friend but I found out he nominated me for eviction and I don’t give a s*** because they’re all a***holes.
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THURSDAY: We had to dress up in wigs and baggy trousers today for some task I think it was to do with clowns and then me and Brian had this fight but I didn’t raise my voice cos I’ve turned over a new leaf innit it’s Brian that needs anger management classes not me.

FRIDAY: My new leaf didn’t last long cos today I just lost it yeah cos Ziggy he’s such a *******ing a***hole and I was screaming at him but it’s only cos he fancies me yeah and he wishes he’d got together with me and not that stupid Chanelle I’m just being honest yeah and I’m not changing for nobody.

SATURDAY: Told the other housemates how many famous people I know and they were all really jealous — but it’s not my fault that I have the kind of lifestyle they all want yeah and I know Chanelle wishes she could hang around with all the footballers but to me they’re just normal people yeah cos I’m the South London It girl and everyone copies what I wear cos I’m fantastic.

SUNDAY: Big Bruvvah threw this party right and we had to wear these party hats yeah but I wasn’t in the party mood cos like I’m just being honest but I couldn’t stop arguing with anyone I was just picking fights with the others like Ge-rry yeah cos Ge-rry just annoys the ******* out of me Carole tried to make me clean a table but I don’t clean tables — I dance on them with no clothes on for men do you know what I’m saying though?

From TheSun.co.uk
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[CassetteFinger]

LOL at Charleys stupidty.