[Mrluvaluva]

We’ll save Britney from hell!

BRITISH nuns have vowed to save troubled Britney Spears and have chosen us to be the angels of her deliverance by passing on their message.

Yes folks, it’s Christmas, and even our blackened hearts are full of tinsel and fire so here’s our very own Yuletide feelgood story.

We always thought it would be too rocky for our Manolo heels on the road to Damascus, but even we sinners hope that Brit, 26, sees the light in 2008.

Think of this as our plea for a Miracle on South Robertson Boulevard, or Brit’s own Christmas Carol, without the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future.
(Because Timberlake, Federline and new beau Lufti haven’t been much help.)

So maybe Sisters Watson and Henrie of the Church of Latter-day Saints have got a better chance of giving her peace.
They certainly think so and that’s why they want us to make sure Britney gets a free copy of Finding Faith In Jesus Christ to watch over her “holidays”.

Sure, she was hoping to bed down with some Krispy Kremes, a Disney boxset and a dvd of Porkies, but we think she could be tempted by something different. Especially when she sees the cover of the Holy self-help film.
Our Lord is depicted in all his glory, wearing a trendy white linen suit, complete with fetching goatee beard.

So if she squints – and if it’s daylight the perennial party princess probably will be doing just that – he looks just like ex-husband Kevin Federline, 29.
Come to think of it, most of the men who take her fancy bear a striking resemblance to the Saviour.



It’s just that, er, not one of them HAS managed to save her.
The Sisters want us to tell her that “faith in Christ can help you resolve personal and family challenges”.

As rehab, parental guidance lessons, court intervention, serial dating and retail therapy haven’t worked, she most probably needs divine intervention.

After all, even most committed atheists would agree that it’s no more crackers than trying to commune with Marilyn Monroe’s ghost.

So come on Britters, stop chasing after the pimp-alikes and make Jesus your homeboy. At least he won’t divorce you and walk away with half your earnings.


Original article here