[Amy]

Feeling a little left out of last night's flirty fun, today Derek ordered Big Brother to ship in a mate for him.

"I think it's just outrageous that you haven't sent in somebody that can flirt with me," he grumbled in the Diary Room. "Somebody big and strong and brave enough to take me dancing."

The Tory explained that he needed someone to help him relax and, "relieve the tension in my neck and other parts of my body".

He then pointed out that he deserved the attention, as after all he was quite a catch. "There are men clawing at the television as I'm sitting in the Diary Room...only wishing they could touch me. Bring them on!"

An understanding Big Brother wondered if his fellow Housemates couldn't help relieve Derek's frustrations, but with a sour expression he replied, "Certainly not. I say that without hesitation."

With that established, Big Brother asked exactly what he was looking for in a man. The right-winger immediately reeled off a list of specifications.

"Very sports minded, nice broad shoulders, fantastic physique, good legs, nice big hands...doesn't have to be clever but mustn't be stupid," he imagined misty-eyed adding, "I'm not asking a lot."

Article Channel 4 Website