[Romantic Old Bird]

Here's what I did on Thursday when I should have been Christmas shopping. You can blame Busy Bee for the rhyming idea - she set me off!


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Side by side the couple lay,
Legs entwined at break of day,
Her hair fanned softly o’er his face
And, still asleep, their arms embrace


She smiles, remembering her dream
And happily surveys the scene
“I really am still here and he
Is still here holding on to me!”


She slowly moves and lifts the sheet
And ventures out her little feet
She puts them gently on the floor
And tiptoes quietly to the door.

Across the hall she makes her way
This bright and early Christmas Day
And in the lounge flicks on the light
To then behold a wondrous sight.

Across the hearth, beneath the tree
She counted parcels, one two three
And when she’d counted up some more
She found that there were twenty-four!

She thought she really ought to wait
And did, one moment, hesitate
Before she plonked down on the ground
And put her presents all around.

“If,” she thought, “I open one,
I doubt he’d notice that it’s gone.
It’s naughty, but I got to see
What Mr Clarke has bought for me!”


Rustle, rustle, rip and tear
The paper went, she didn’t care,
Though still in bed the sounds he heard
And laughed, but uttered not a word.

The night before, he’d put them there,
And spread them out with loving care.
He thought, “She’s like a little kid,
She acts just my brother did”.

She kept right on, he didn’t mind
For he was tolerant and kind
She ripped and gasped, and oooo-ed and aaahed,
And with each one, she found a card.

Impatiently, she barely read
The words on each, or what they said.
If she had, she might have seen
Just what each of them could mean.


She stopped and gasped and looked around
No more presents on the ground!
“Bloody hell, I’ve done it now,
He’ll think I’m such a selfish cow!”

“ I’d better take him in some tea,
He won’t be cross; I’ll make him see.
Helen Adams, do your stuff
Give him breakfast in the buff!”

She crisped bacon, she fried egg,
She decided not to beg…..
“Merry Christmas, rise and shine,
I’ve opened yours, now open mine!”

In the bedroom she did stride,
Flinging curtains open wide
“You’ve opened them?” asked sleepy Paul
“You haven’t opened up them ALL?”

“I’m sorry Paul, yes, every one
I just kept going till they’d gone -
All twenty-four, that’s loads, that is!
Lovely, lush, come here, BIG KISS!”

“You shouldn’t have, and I’m not happy,
So get in here and make it snappy.
You’re out of order, you must pay!”
“How?”
“I’m sure you’ll find a way!”

And so we leave this happy scene
To let their passions intervene
Yet, there’s one thing left to say
Before we leave their Christmas Day……

“ Did you like your presents Paul?”

“Babe, I loved them, one and all”.

“I got loads, but you got more,
You only got me twenty four!”

“ Hang on a minute, that’s not right,
I got you one the other night!”

“No you never, what was that?
Not more chocolate, I’m so fat!”

“No, babe, not this time it’s not
It’s something small, it’s not a lot
I thought it was time that we
Had a special cup of tea”.

“Aww, Paul, it’s just a little cup!”

“Well it’s not empty, pick it up!”

Inside the cup, she found a note,
“Yeah, now, just read out what I wrote”.

‘To say these words I want to say
I couldn’t find a better way,
You really are my cup of tea
Make me happy, marry me!’

Side by side the couple lay,
Legs entwined at end of day
As she lay smiling in the dark
The happy future Mrs Clarke