[SNEEZER]

> > Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
> > One turns to the other and says "dam"
> > **********
> > Two peanuts walk into a bar
> > One was a salted.
> > **********
> > A jump-lead walks into a bar.
> > The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
> > **********
> > A sandwich walks into a bar.
> > The barman says, "Sorry - we don't serve food in here."
> > **********
> > A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
> > **********
> > A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
> > says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
> > **********
> > Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
> > The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant.
> > **********
> > Two cannibals are eating a clown.
> > One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
> > **********
> > "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'." That
> > sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."
> > **********
> > Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to
> > Dolly:
> > "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
> > "I don't believe you," said Dolly.
> > "It's true, no bull!"
> > **********
> > A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.
> > The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
> > **********
> > Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
> > One says, "I've lost my electron."
> > The other says, "Are you sure?"
> > The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
> > **********
> > Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullsh#t before.
> > **********
> > A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's
> > cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "Well," says the
> > vet, "let's have a look at him". So he picks the dog up and examines
> > his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have
> > to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
> > "No, because he's really heavy"
> > **********
> > Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese and there are 5
> > people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum
> > or my dad......or maybe my older brother Colin, or my younger
> > brother Ho-Cha-Chu, but I'm pretty sure it's Colin.
> > **********
> > I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
> > find any.
> > **********
> > I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he
> > couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, "No, the
> > steaks are too high."
> > **********
> > My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.
> > He was pulled in by a strong currant.
> > *********
> > A man walks into doctor's office.
> > "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
> > "It's... um... well... I have five penises." replies the man.
> > "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a
> > glove."
> > **********
> > What do you call a fish with no eyes?
> > A fsh
> > ********
> > Two fish are in a tank
> > One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"