[kirklancaster]

Yesterday my wife and I and my son and his girlfriend took my two little granddaughters to a Country Park.

We had just eaten and outside the restaurant, I leant on a railing in the warm sunshine while they went into one of the 'Farm Shops'.

It was pretty busy - as always on a Summery day - with people toi-ing and fro-ing and a few bystanders.

I SWEAR on my granddaughters lives that this is perfectly true.

One guy in his late 20's to early 30's was holding a half-full glass of lager and on a mobile phone. He looked at me then raised his voice to whoever he was talking to as he walked towards me.

"I'll do the weight. No problem. I've got another week yet. I'm going for the knockout. My Bodyfat is 13%....."

I mentally smiled to myself because this guy had on jeans and a cap-sleeved V neck 'T' shirt and he was OBVIOUSLY in no sort of athletic condition let alone a pre-fight one.

All the time he was walking and talking he was looking at me and still talking too loudly:

"Naah, no problem. I've been sparring with Lee Selby... He's the best. He's gonna KO that Josh Warrington..."

(For non-boxing members Lee Selby is Welsh and the current IBF Featherweight Champion and Josh Warrington is a gifted Leeds boxer and the two are scheduled to fight for the title on May 19th.)

This chump is now standing about "12" away from me, looking at me sideways, and still talking loudly into his mobile in between taking gulps of his lager:

"Don't worry, I'm on track. I'm Road-Running tomorrow at four in the morning.... I'm gonna knock him out... No danger. You can bet on it."

I looked directly at him and said: "I'll put a few quid on you".

He nodded, said "Thanks", then went back to his phone:

"My left's my shot... I'm going to knock him out with it...."

After another minute or so, I had heard enough B.S. and walked towards the Farm Shop where my family had gone just as they were emerging.

About 5 minutes later - as we were walking towards the Country Park Museum the same guy is walking the same way - now minus his phone - and he stops and says: "Thanks for the confidence vote. It means a lot."

I said; "No problem. Good Luck with your bout. Have you been on any televised bouts? I seem to know your face".

He nodded so I asked; "What's your name?"

He faltered then said; "Scott Quigg" and I had to fight to prevent myself laughing out loud but just said; "Oh, I've heard of you".

(Scott Quigg is a brilliant hard little boxer from Bury in Lancashire who held the W.B.A. Super-Bantamweight title until 2016)

This guy nodded then walked off.

Scott Quigg is half this guy's size, lean as a greyhound and speaks with a Lancashire accent.

This guy did not speak or look like Scott Quigg and he certainly was NOT Scott Quigg.

My wife asked me what that was all about and who the guy was and I explained then she laughed and asked 'why it was that I 'attract' all the nutters' and I wish that I knew.

Still, a least 'Scott' was harmless.