[Josiah.]

Kalispera, and welcome to you all from my beautiful city of Athens.

We are honoured this evening that our entry features two true legends of the Music Industry; Ken Livingstone and Jeremy Corbyn – or Saggy and Jazza as they are better known to millions of Pop Fans.

Their friend Diane Abbott was locked away in her bedroom with a calculator trying to work out how many thousands are in a Carillion, but has kindly agreed to tear herself away to join them on stage to sing backing vocals.

So, with two Double Platinum-Selling albums; ‘Palestine Terrorist Organisation or Diane Abbott Twerking, It’s still HAM ASS To us’ and the iconic ‘Red, Red Swine’, please give your applause for Saggy featuring Jazza and ‘It Wasn’t Me’:

Youtube video

Saggy featuring Jazza
"It Wasn't Me"

(Yo, Comrade) Yo Jeremy.
(Open up, I’m in the Shet man) What do you want, man?
(The Media just caught me ) You let them catch you AGAIN?
(They KNOW I’ve been shagging) With whom?
(Abbott. My ex-oar, you know) Man
(I don’t know what to do) Say it wasn’t you
(Alright)

Media been digging and caught me red-handed
Cheating on my wife and more.

Picure this; me and Abbott butt-naked, banging on a Berlin floor

Why can’t they forget that I had
Done all this and let me be?
All this time I’ve got away with it
But now they’ve got their eyes on me.

How could you be bonking with that ugly passion-killer
She’s got a body like King Kong and a head like Godzilla
She’s more scary than Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’
And you need a 2 foot cock if you gonna drill her

You’re a born liar so you know how to play
If they say “You did this” deny and walk away
Never admit any wrong you do or say.
‘Tea On The terrace with the IRA?’ No W-a-y

But they know my Marxist cause (It wasn't me)
I banged in Abbott’s Back Doors (It wasn’t me)
Know my Hamas friends are real (It wasn’t me)
I lied on TV to Andrew Neill (It wasn’t me)

Was in Palestine Live (It wasn’t me)
Let Anti-Semitism thrive (It wasn't me)
Calls for me to GO getting louder (It wasn't me)
Hope my PM dream ain’t over

Media been digging and caught me red-handed
Being a lying creep and more

Picture this, me and Abbott butt-naked, banging on a Berlin floor

I have tried to keep the Public
From seeing the truth about me.
I am desperate that they believe me
When I tell them it wasn't me.

Make sure you’re incognito when you go out for sex.
Wear your favourite niqab and your darkest specs.
Abbott or Terrorist, whoever’s ass ya licked,
It ain’t gonna matter ‘long as the public’s tricked.

But you know they gon' bring 'bout things up from the past.
All the damning evidence you better know to mask.
Making them believe you is such an easy task.
But if there’s proof get on ya bike and better pedal f-a-s-t.

They know the bad thing’s I’ve said (It wasn't me)
I’ve got subversion in my head (It wasn’t me)
Got in the terrorist bed (It wasn’t me)
Shagged Abbott when I was wed (It wasn’t me)

I’m in the shet real deep (It wasn’t me)
Made Election pledges I can’t keep (It wasn't me)
Calls for me to GO getting louder (It wasn't me)
Hope my PM dream ain’t over

Media been digging and caught me red-handed
Of being treasonous and more

Picture this; sipping tea with terrorists, outside the Commons door.

I have tried to keep the Public
From seeing the truth about me
I’m desperate that they believe me
When I tell them it wasn't me

Gonna tell them I’m sorry
For the pain that I’ve caused
Hope they don’t think about my denials
‘cos they make no sense at all

Why won’t they accept that I’m just a normal chap
With my Karl Marx Book, rusty bike, and Comrade Lenin cap.
That’s why I whinge.

Media digging and caught me red-handed
Of being a lying creep and more.

Picture this, me and Abbott butt-naked, banging on a Berlin floor.

Why can’t they forget that I had
Done all this and let me be?
All this time I’ve got away with it
But now they’ve got their eyes on me.

The performance ends and Jazza, Saggy and Diane take a bow amid a Standing Ovation.

Goodnight from Athens and please vote for our entry. "Efxaristo". Thank You.