[Red Moon]

Posh bigs up Becks' kecks

SINCE that Armani ad featuring DAVID BECKHAM in his pants, everyone has been asking if he was packing the real deal.

And when I asked his missus VICTORIA, her trademark pout turned into a huge smile as she admitted it was ALL his own work.

And she burst into filthy giggles when I compared her fella’s manhood to a “tractor exhaust pipe”.

I was locked away with all the SPICE GIRLS in Las Vegas for a chat ahead of their tour arriving at London’s O2 arena tonight.

We talked about sex, the G8 and, erm, sex.

Posh told me: “I’m proud I still have a really good sex life with David. He is very much in proportion.

“He does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his.”

I tried to get a measure of what “proportions” we were talking about. When I suggested a tractor exhaust it hit the nail on the head.

Posh, pictured with Becks ice skating in London yesterday, screamed: “It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!”

David must know a thing or two about big todgers.

DION DUBLIN was at Man Utd when he began to shower with the big boys. It’s where he learned the two-footed tackle.

EMMA BUNTON told me she has recovered from her sprained ankle and will be throwing shapes with MEL C and the other girls in tonight’s show.

MEL B will whip some fellas. She obviously couldn’t let this conversation pass her by without piping up.

It’s like she is permanently on a hen night and you can’t stop liking her for it. She really backs up those juggernaut breasts with a dirty trucker’s mouth.

She said: “I love sex. It is very important. I don’t need to take my whip home. I already have one there.”

Still on the topic of, OK, sex, the girls have been on the hunt for a fella for GERI HALLIWELL.

Posh even suggested internet or speed dating for Ginger.

And Mel B said: “Trust me, she has been at it. We have lined them up for her but she is very picky.

“They have to have a job, they have to be respectful and well travelled. You don’t want them too young because they’ll be too obnoxious.”

The girls finished our chat by trying to guess my Bizarre headline. Most thought it would be about the size of David’s manhood. You don’t get anything past this lot.

But Mel B thought it would be something about her whip and us “having sex all night”.

I was lucky to escape alive.

Source: The Sun