[Crimson Dynamo]

NEW YORK—Following this week’s news that the immunization may be
90% effective in preventing Covid-19, pharmaceutical giant Pfizer announced
in an advertisement Wednesday that the first batch of its highly anticipated
coronavirus vaccine would arrive in a collector’s edition limited to 2,000
doses.

“Pfizer is proud to offer an exclusive early release of our new vaccine
in a custom-made Swarovski crystal syringe with a 24-karat gold needle,” the
glossy magazine ad read in part, noting that each dose would come in a
handcrafted mahogany case and be accompanied with an official certificate of
authenticity signed by Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla. “The Covid-19 Platinum
Edition Vaccine is a must-have for vaccinophiles and sure to quickly increase
in value. Act now, and you’ll also receive a leather-bound volume filled with
freehand ink drawings of the novel coronavirus’s genome sequence, as well
as historic early sketches of our life-saving vaccine’s chemical structure. This legendary piece of inoculative history can be yours for only $4,999.”

At press time, reports confirmed all doses of the vaccine had sold out immediately and were now going for 10 times their original price on the secondary market.

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/167899892337143043/

Should be on ebay soon