[Mrluvaluva]

Eurovision 2008: take your pick from a selection of losers

The six artists competing to represent the UK at this year's Eurovision Song Contest have been announced.

You might recognise some of them and they're certainly well-equipped to represent the UK at Eurovision because with only one exception this year's entrants have all lost primetime Saturday night TV talent shows in front of millions of viewers.

Here they are...


SIMONA ARMSTRONG



Loser credentials: How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?

Song: 'Changes'. Simona says: "it could be about the changes we face every day in life, relationships, friendships, and even in jobs. It’s about keeping your head held high as we try to adapt to the changes and challenges that surround us. It’s about keeping positive". Translation: it's about nothing.

Career high: How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?

Fit? No


ANDY ABRAHAM



Loser credentials: X Factor

Song: 'Even If'

Career high: Not having to be a bin man anymore thanks to X Factor; scoring a platinum-selling debut album and being rewarded by being dropped etc etc.

Fit? No


MICHELLE GAYLE



Loser credentials: Reborn In The USA

Song: 'Woo (You Got Me)'. "It’s about falling for someone that can’t speak English," Michelle notes, "and I’m trying to make him understand the way that he makes me feel." Presumably she is letting the funky music do the talking.

Career high: 'Sweetness' - FOURTEEN YEARS AGO. She was also in Beauty & The Beast but we don't know in which role.

Fit? No


THE REVELATIONS



Loser credentials: The Revelations are the only act in this year's lineup not to have been disgraced in front of millions of people.

Song: 'It's You'

Career high: One of their songs was a Song Of The Day on Popjustice a year or so ago. Does that count? ("No" - The World.) The Revelations are actually brilliant but sort of got trampled underfoot by The Pipettes in the 'organic manufactured girlgroup it's alright to like if you like indie' stakes.

Fit? One of them's alright.


LOVESHY



Loser credentials: Popstars: The Rivals

Song: 'Mr Gorgeous'. "It's a sexy, pop, electro song that is sure to get you singing along and once you've heard it," say the girls. Judge for yourself at the band's MySpace: www.myspace.com/loveshyofficial. We'll tell you what that song needs - a Depeche Mode sample. And maybe completely different verses.

Career high: As Clea (once a four-piece, then a trio) Loveshy had some pretty likeable moments but seemed perpetually overshadowed by a feeling of It's Never Going To Happen.

Fit? Yes


ROB McVEIGH



Loser credentials: Any Dream Will Do

Song: 'I Owe It All To You'

Career high: Over Christmas, Rob played the part of Dandini in Cinderella at Sheffield's Lyceum Theatre.

Fit? No


Original article here