[Christmas Dynasnow]

I was just writing my books when I bumped into a young female member of
staff. I tried to insert my penis into her hand, but in the resultant struggle, she
stormed off. I can assure you that the attemped assault was consensual and
that the fact I am 200 pounds and 6 foot one and she was 100 and 5 foot and
that i had her pinned to a wall we were both having a great time. The
handkerchief i stuffed in her mouth was an accident and the reason i shouted "I
KNOW YOU WANT IT BITCH" was just ribaldry..