[brohoe]

PAUL:Please welcome the one and only davina mccoll, how are ya

DAVINApoints at pictures) just seeing if there was one of mattew

P:we always put them up so you feel comfortable, feel at home

Richard (mimes baby movements??)

Pid you enjoy

HELLO

P:last time i saw davina was sex in the city premeir

yeah we were at a premeir together,so showbiz

P:Not very

Yeah, me and him going "huh have you see what shes wearing"

P:i couldn't beleve what half the women were wearing, imean sarah jessica parker had a plant pot on her head

I thought she looked quite fabolus

P:your a woman

Can i just say, did any of you think slightly, when the other three turn up they were like "right shes wearing a hat, are you miss attention seeker", they're probarly like "ah she wants to stand out from the crowd"

P: are you in to this shoe business? you know with all the shoes

i have to say that even though i live, i live in the country and if im doing school runs i just wear boring boots all the time , But you know i do love the heels, anyone like the heel

Audience:Whey

I don't even wear them very often, i do love the heel

P: A nice pair of minola blankets

no, it's flanits

P: ehey

F-l-a-n-i e-t-s

P: And you an all, do aploigise, it's 5 o clock, minola flanits, *Bursts in to song*, what are they called

MINOLO BLANIETS

P: do you like MINOLO BLANIETS

MINOLO BLANIETS, you know, i don't even possess a pair, i'd love to own a pair

P: holding a shoe box, (audience gasp) what size show are you?

6

P: well i never size, 6

Audience: WHOOHOWO

That's the best g...

P: and they're beauties, wait wait sit down, because theres been speculation about big brother, now can you confirm or deny the following (yes paul)

Audience: Cackle

P:What delicate little shoes, lets tak this one first shall we

what are you going to do

P: no no your going to answer the truth, or the shoes get it

*gasp*

P: are the contentants being paid a pound

ahh now this, this is difficult because i don't neccisserly know (paul looks like he will break heel) my impression is that they are paid more than that, they are paid a retainer a week, and i think they get a wage of around 30 pounds a week, i don't think it's any more than that, they have the potential to earn the prize money at the end, but i think they get more than a pound that might just be a contractul thing where they write down pound

P: Are old housemates returning

erm ... i don't know... the honest reply to (paul goes to break shoes) thAT IS I DON'T KNOW (paul snaps shoes, davina falls to the floor)

P: Right okay then, we'll carry on ... this will be a long long night, is the house being pimped ?, whatever that means

*Shocked*

P:Yeah wha dose that mean

I don't really know what that means, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, ASK ME A QUESTION I UNDERSTAND WRQQQGHGHG

P: Have the house mates only got 9 lives?

Urm... i don't know about that either but i would rather that they had less, we are, and i think i'm allowed to say this... if i'm not i'm rEaLlY sorry , I think i'm allowed to say this is zero tollorence, this series, appsolutly erm, you know we've been a little bit soft on them before i think, and their going to have a really good time, their going to really enjoy themselfs but we will not abide rulebreaking

Audience: whey yes

P: What happens to the rule breakers do they go to prision

out, oh we do have a prision, i went in there this morning, i was in the house this morning, with chris moyles and the breakfast crew and we did a taask, and someone got evicted, it was really exicting, and their is this weried jail room, thats mineute, and it's in the garden, so who ever goes in their can watch every one else lounging around having a lovley time in the garden

P: isnt that sadism

Yes (bites audience)

P: now do the house mates go naked every night

No, well you know what i have said in the past , that somebody with toruettes would never go in to the big brother house, and i was deeply wrong about that , but i think that the naked think was just a bit of sensationlism in the paper, i don't think the big brother producers, would ever make people go naked,If they want to go naked every night of their own emmision thats fine with us but urm...

P: And finally gtta tell you, these arnt minola blankers

well i just thought when that heel came off that easily that no way are they a pair of minovas

P: Came from a pound shop

Quite nice

P:Well you can have one, and if you don't mind wearing the other and limping, you can have that as well, the prada handbag was gonna get it and the channel suit, i've got the tin of magnola emulsion ready to paint the bag, if you don't answer this last question

i will be very honest

P: has every body got an asbo that's going in?

urm... again, why on earth would they want to put everyone in their with an asbo, i can't imagine that, but i've been proved wrong in the past, i don't think so

P:do they tell you everything about...

i know nothing , at the moment, up untill this morning, the most i knew about the house was heat magazine... urm

P: i got it all from sarha in the su , you know reading that

so, and also you can't trust anything in the papers because it's all sensationlise and tibits come from some where and they get eleaborated , anf the nicest possible ways it's all snippets from places, so i wouldn't beleve everything in the papers, wait, and tommorow i get my folder of housemates

P:when do you actully get to meet the actul contestents

when they come out

P: o really thats the first time

Yes, i don't see them until they come out and so sometimes, i'm as desprete to meet them as anybody who's watching the programme, so if they've been an intresting house mate it's brilliant to get a chance to get my dirty little mits on them

P: When we've got a look here at some of last years big brother ,put it on

MONTAGE

*lost some chatter here*

P: shows the british public,don't know which way there going to go

d:we had amaxzing winners if you think about it

p:she came on here dressedas a mermaid you know, she was doing panto in southhampton,and she came in as a mermaid, she was just fab,what a nice person she was

d: yeah, and she was doing it for all the right, intresing reasons, well it's one of those shows that can't be used as a stepping stone for fame any more , and i think people have realised that now

p: well i will be watching