[LEE]

Read what Big Brother veteran VANESSA FELTZ makes of the current crop of housemates...

A SURVIVORS VIEW

THREE cheers for Sandy for having the gumption to make such a spectacular exit from the House. At least that way he released us all from the tedium of watching him rotating around the pool like a lobotomised goldfish. Three cheers to the production team for spicing Big Bro up by dividing the inmates into rich and poor.

Fascinating how Lee's lust for Adele evaporated when she was exiled to the poor side. Equally astounding to see the pretty and talented Sophie stroking Lee's stocky leg as if it were her very own Oscar. Lee was a two-faced plonker who would have trouble deciphering the writing on his own imbecilic hat. Sophie can make a spectacular pineapple upside down cake. What the heck did she see in no-neck Lee?

Kate, who seemed such a darling in week one, now seems to be a major irritant. Allying herself with unpopular Alison was error number one. Boiling up her knickers in the communal cooking pot hardly endeared her to the other inmates. What's more, her quest to make Spencer stand up and take notice seems to be doomed to abysmal failure. He's not averse to a quick grope through the barrier, but, when the chips are down, he can't be bothered to fight her corner.

Jonny has zilch personality. His idea of living it large is to charge about the House in the nude, no matter how nauseating it looks to the rest of us. While I commend him for taking on the wet Wednesday who goes under the name of Alex, I can't wait to bid Jonny a brisk adieu.

Unsurprisingly, the poor lot are busily bonding and showing their sterling qualities.

Jade and PJ finally obliged the nation by getting it on in a wild drunken flailing of sheets and body parts. Whether they actually managed the full Monty is a moot point, but there's no doubt they indulged in a whole lot more bumping and grinding than British Big Brother has ever seen. Perhaps it was in honour of the Jubilee?

Alex is such a wimp he makes my teeth curl. He is a master-whinger, forever obsessing about trivia, elevating moaning and complaining to a high art. His drippy voice and that stupid scarf he ties on his head makes him a grotesque combination of Dot Cotton and Ena Sharples. He is a phenomenal example to prove to schoolgirls everywhere that looks are emphatically NOT everything.

I confess to a bit of a soft spot for Spencer, whose physique, constantly paraded topless is just the thing to enliven a forty year old mother of two's day. He started off as an aloof loner, staying up all night smoking and drinking on his own. Now he's something of a lad, persuading Kate to pass beer from her mouth to his and earning them both a strike in the process.

Adele is intelligent, calm, collected and always manages to look both incredibly glamorous and as if she hasn't tried too hard. She seemed to cope admirably with being rejected by lecherous Lee and, at the moment, she's my hot choice for winner of this year's Big Brother.

With six weeks still to go and Sandy's surprise departure still fresh in everyone's thoughts I'm well aware that anything could happen. But, to my mind, Alex has to be the next one for the chop and, as the sanest person in there, Adele stands the greatest chance of taking the £70,000.