[BigSister]

It's A Gnome!
Day 14, 14:10




Craig finally dropped his sprog today and gave birth to a bouncing baby, er, gnome.

He returned from a consultation with Doctor Big yelping that he had to pack an overnight bag and pick a birthing partner. "I'm having contractions minutes apart! I could give birth any minute!" he squealed.

Lesley was first choice to lend a helping hand, but she seemed a little suspicious. "You're not being evicted are you?" she whispered. Shrugging his shoulders Craig replied, "Probably."

When the pair entered the Diary Room, Doctor Big was on standby to guide Craig. With soothing panpipe muzak playing in the background, the doctor asked if this was Craig's first birth.



My fifth," Craig confirmed. "So you're an expert at this?" replied the doctor.

"Yeah I've been around the block," the hairdresser giggled.

The birth soon got underway and Craig sprawled out on his back squeezing Lesley's hand. Howling in agony Craig screeched, "Get it out of me! Get it out!"

Eventually the ordeal was over and Craig held his beautiful newborn in his arms. Craig had assumed he was having a girl, but his bundle of joy closely resembled a garden gnome. Yet the proud parent decided to stick with the name Britney.

He proudly showed off his offspring to his cooing Housemates. "Aww, look at its lipstick and beard," fussed Roberto.

Ah, the wonder of nature!
http://www.channel4.com/bigbrother/n...ory.jsp?id=307