[Locke.]

Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because he's a pussy.

President Roosevelt once said, "Man has nothing to fear except for fear itself." Jack Bauer is the scientific name for fear itself.

Jack Bauer is so strong, he can touch his chin with his elbow. He's also so smart, he knew you'd try to do it after reading that.

James Bond isn't a womaniser. They just drift off to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer ****ed your Mother.

http://www.jackbauerfacts.com/