[Enid]

There can be no doubt that Dogface has some pretty impressive assets. Sadly, foreign language skills and racquet sports ability aren't among them as she proved during a brief yet enlightening chat with Rodrigo.

"Do you know French?" asked Dogface as she struggled to understand Rodrigo's explanation of how to pronounce his name in Portuguese. But Rodrigo's knowledge of French was as extensive as Dogface's knowledge of particle physics.

Dogface was undeterred. "I can say Je m'appelle Sophie, je joue au ping-pong," she said gaily.

"What does that [je joue] mean?" asked Rodrigo with a puzzled look.

"It means 'I played', or, I think it is," replied Dogface. "I can't remember, it was years ago ping-pong is such a funny word."

"We say ping-pong in Portuguese," explained Rodrigo.

"Do you?" said an amazed Dogface, "How'd you say it in Brazil?"

Rodrigo managed to stop his mouth hanging open in shock shortly before Dogface realised the national language of Brazil is Portuguese.

"Hah, it's just practically the same isn't it?" she laughed.

And as if her pile of shame wasnt high enough, she carried on stacking it.

"I can't play ping-pong," she admitted in contradiction to her earlier stab at conversational French.

"I can play table tennis," she added, "I can't play ping pong."

Je despair

http://www.channel4.com/bigbrother/b...d9afc9/view.c4

Nevermind her boobs, she needs a brain implant.