[_Seth]

1. The way he always stops his guests mid-sentence to tell them, "This is the Jeremy Kyle show, can I speak?" - well NO since your guests are on your dick show to tell their side of the story. Prick.

2. If someone takes a lie detector test and the result says they're lying but they protest they're not, Jeremy Kyle always says "So I suppose you're 1 of the 4% who can beat the lie detector?" - well yes they could be since it isn't 100% accurate and you even say that before reading the result you thick ****.

3. How he tells his violent guests he isn't scared of them and if he wanted to he would win an argument and they 'wouldn't stand a chance' while fixing a smug little grin on his face. Without the beefy security standing around the stage, he wouldn't talk to people the way he sometimes does.

4. The way he compares his guests' lives to his own and always tries to make himself sound like a saint. (The same can be said for Trisha Goddard). "Well I lost all my limbs in a car accident but I didn't turn to drink/hit my wife/neglect my children" - he doesn't seem to understand that everyone is different and we don't all deal with our problems the way he might do. Tosser.

5. "Next on the Jeremy Kyle show is Dave. He regularly beats his wife, sleeps with prostitutes, has murdered on several occassions and never wants to see his 5 month old daughter again... but remember we don't pre-judge on The Jeremy Kyle show"

6. The way he ALWAYS says "Now if you wan't to appear on MY show..." It's not so much what he says but the way he says it. I always think he puts alot of emphasis on the "MY".

7. The way he patronises alot of his guests. Usually the ones so distraught they don't notice he's doing it.

8. How he threatens his guests to do what he wants otherwise he'll "turn up when you least expect it". I'd do what he said if it meant never seeing his smug face again.

9. The way he tells what-he-thinks are great jokes only to see a tumbleweed roll across the stage.

Although I hate Jeremy Kyle I do still watch the show in the hope one of his guests will bring a knife on stage.

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