[Amy]

IN five dismal years the accursed Big Brother has provided me with precious few moments of enjoyment.

But moronic Michelle's hysterical tears as it dawns on her what an unpopular scrubber she is and faces eviction - now that's entertainment!

And, just to prove I'm not exclusively negative, I rather like the idea of the bedsit where two of the losers will quickly realise just how remarkably boring BB5 really is.

Victor is so dim his transparent attempts to be annoyingly arrogant fall flat.

All that desperate, Nasty Nick style "I'm the dirtiest, cleverest player " stuff just makes you want to pat him on his vacuum-like skull and say: "Of course you are."

As for Poor (extremely) old Ahmed. It's not funny watching the stressed-out Somalian's descent into insanity.

But it is extraordinarily funny as Michelle whines to Stuart: "What have I done wrong?"

Well you were born

Article Daily Mirror