[Z]

I'll post the short version (I've been speaking to a friend) rather than the long version with all the details... and it's not even that short

So to sum up, on Wednesday he started apologising for the **** he did to me, he kissed me but I pulled away, next day I ask if he wants to go for coffee because I have so many questions, he makes plans to go for dinner on Monday, he goes all out with it, there was a bottle of prosecco and some small tasters of various starters waiting at our table, we had a 3 course dinner, nice wine and we only got charged £30 for all of that... and I'm like is this a date, we went to his friends' flat after spending time with them in the bar upstairs, we eventually end up at his and after a comically awkward situation of lying in his bed as far away from his as possible, talking to each other but staring at the ceiling the whole time we ended up platonically spooning (we didn't even kiss at any point, I mean), spent all morning together today, walked into town, wandered around before he went for a haircut and then I sent him a Facebook message (I don't have his number or anything and we're not Facebook friends) just saying thank you so much and if I don't hear from or see him then good luck with exams and everything... he (as of now) hasn't replied to my message I sent to him but has read it and I don't know if that's because he had a horrible time and regrets even meeting up with me and was just waiting for me to leave or if he read it and thought he'd reply later or read it and thought it didn't need a reply...

And I still haven't asked him any of the serious questions I wanted to know answers to because I just thought we were having such a nice time just speaking to each other normally that I didn't want to ruin it by asking any of them... and I don't know what any of it means... I mean you don't take someone for a 3 course dinner + extras at a nice restaurant and lie in bed with them holding hands and spooning if you don't want there to be something there... or do you... I don't know. I don't know if I want it to go anywhere because I don't have the answers to my questions... I don't know if I'll ever get them, if he'll want to meet up again or what... but I know that I don't want to rule it out... and I don't know if that's stupid or uncharacteristically optimistic of me or if it really could work... because I never wanted it to end... he went back to his ex and they continued to be on and off and I'm not sure either of them were ever really happy... and from what little he did give away, it seems they're not together right now (I'd bloody well hope not ) but that was the case when we started dating and he ended up breaking my heart and going back to him and I just don't know... ahhh so confused.