[Crimson Dynamo]

2. How does Luis Suárez like his Christmas dinner? Bite-sized.

3. What do the royal family play at Christmas instead of musical chairs? Game of Thrones.

4. What did the Snowman say to the aggressive carrot? “Get out of my face.”

5. Why is Christmas a busy time for David Cameron? He’s got two parties to organise.

6. What’s the difference between Bono and Santa? Santa gives you things you want.

7. Why won’t Santa visit Nigel Farage? Because he only comes if you sleep, not if Ukip.

8. Why are snowmen rubbish at cricket? They’re always bowling snowballs.

9. I got a Ukip advent calendar. It’s rubbish, all the doors keep slamming shut.

10. Why is The Great British Bake Off like the nativity?


cracker jokes

http://www.theguardian.com/stage/201...cker-joke-gold