[sampvt]

Normally I go all serious on this thread, but this year too much is happening and I cant keep track, so here goes.

1. Alexander... He thinks he is on a game show with a running buffet and views himself as the biggest star in there, gone this week I fear.

2. Alicia.....Pete Burns lookalike that acts like a rabbit caught in the headlights and dull as dishwater, wont make the final 5.

3. Calum.....Sporting the years worst haircut, he is growing on me and I seriously think he will get to the final and is a great bet at 6/4 to do so. The key to his success is whether or not he allows Mr Wiggely to play in Cami's lady garden, hopefully not.

4. Cami.......I was going to say the tate gallery on legs but the tart gallery fits her better. Talentless numpty with nothing to offer except Bazookas at dawn and any other time she sees fit. wont make the final.

5. Chloe.....Much like her friend Cami but less educated and stinks of desperation to be accepted but she will fall out of favour soon unless she latches onto Kavana as he is the only one left to hang onto, wont reach the final.

6. Kavana.....lives in a time warp and is so far up his own arse he has little or nothing to offer the show. He might radar dive into the final weeks but I doubt he will get the final 5

7. Katie......she is showing us a softer side and is fav to win but I fear her own mouth might ruin her chances. She is a marmite character but she is doing the show no harm. I like her forthright nature but cringe at some of her thoughts. Will defo make the final and might win.

8. Kieth.....I think he is deliberately radar diving and keeping a low profile at the moment, but when he starts to campaign, he will prove a worthy adversary and is katies main threat to the title. There is more to come from him when the heat is turned up.

9. Ken......Absolute train wreck as a person but fantastic HM. He is an itch you cant scratch and his age covers a multitude of sins but he is as sharp as a pin and I want him to stay a while longer.

10. Michele.....Cant get to like her that much even though I love feisty women, but she knows this is a game and she is out to win by throwing as many under a bus as she needs to. I reckon she will go for the throat when she knows it will get her brownie points, but at the moment, she is radar diving and will make the final 5.

11. Nadia......If she was herself, she would be ok but alas, she is acting out the loose women special coaching squads wishes and she is coming over as overbearing and a **** stirrer. She might make the final but I can see a big bust up somewhere with Katie and maybe even Michele. Hard to like at the moment but even harder to read.

12. Patsy.....she thinks she is in a nut house and is trying to treat it as a break away from the kids but I am getting vibes that she might walk when put under any pressure. not liking her chances and she needs to get out of bed and pretend she is still married to a Gallaher.

13. Perez....He is to the gay community what Gemma Collins is to the slimmer of the year awards. He is both annoying and dramatic and my personal favourite hate this year. His voice grates on me, he is as fake as a summer snowfall and is so far up his own arse he can see his molars. It is easy to see why he works behind a computer because he isn't designed for human interaction. my only regret is that I hate him, but unfortunately he is gay and adds to my problems because some view me as homophobic and I am not. I am Perezphobic.

I am a bit ashamed of this rendition as its all I could come up with but this year I am like a kid let loose in a candy shop, I don't know which way to turn as there is so many topics on offer.