[Hooly One]

Infighting broke out in the ranks this morning after Private Ahmed caused mayhem by refusing to complete the morning exercise drill due to his dicky throat.

The troops were jogging round the garden like a slick military machine when Private Ahmed broke ranks to have a sit down.

Sergeant Michelle and all the Privates implored him to continue the exercise but he just said, "I'm sick."

Frustrated, Ahmed grabbed a plastic cup and threw it on the decking. Michelle walked across to the cup, picked it up and threw it on the lawn, where it bounced a few times before coming to rest.

A bit more cup bouncing ensued before Michelle bellowed, "Why did you come here?"

"You talk too much! I'm sick. Shut up Sergeant!" Ahmed told her.

Victor desperately tried to get Ahmed to sit down and not argue and the troops to continue with their drill, while Sergeant Jason looked on, confounded by events.

Once the whistle sounded to announce the end of the drill Ahmed went for a lie down, only to be joined by Jason, who asked why Ahmed couldn't have carried on running for just a couple more minutes.

...I don't think so chicken


Ahmed told him he hasn't been eating properly, "I didn't eat my pudding. No chocolate," he whimpered as he reeled off the symptoms of near death.

Michelle happened to choose that moment to come into the bedroom to get changed.

Standing topless she pressed Ahmed to reveal why he came to the Big Brother House. "Why did someone like you come to a place like this?" She squealed as the two of them started shouting at each other - neither of them listening to what the other had to say.

But Michelle did hear Ahmed say she hadn't been pulling her weight in the House, which prompted her to, bizarrely, rant on about being a vegetarian, as if non-meat eaters are exempt from washing up.

The squabble continued with Ahmed telling Michelle not to shout at him as he was losing his voice, and Michelle retorting, "I hope you do."

Ahmed then told her to "get out of [his] face," before Victor entered the room and calmed the situation.

Blimey. It was never like this in Dad's Army...

Officila Site