[Red Moon]

'Losing baby was punishment'

SHAMED Jade Goody has revealed she feared her miscarriage was “God’s punishment” for her behaviour on Celebrity Big Brother.

Jade, 26, was 12 weeks pregnant when she lost the baby she was expecting with toyboy lover Jack Tweed, 19, last month.

And the loudmouth — whose career went into freefall following the Celebrity BB racism storm — said the miscarriage had sent her reeling into a “dark time.”

She said: “After the miscarriage I did ask, ‘Why is all this happening?’ I thought it was God’s punishment for something I’d done.

“This year it’s been one thing after another. But after losing the baby I felt I’d never recover.”

Following her stint on the Channel 4 show in January — where she hit the headlines for bullying Bollywood princess Shilpa Shetty — Jade’s perfume and autobiography were withdrawn from sale.

In February she checked in to The Priory in London over depression, before travelling to India in a bid to save her career.

Speaking for the first time since the miscarriage, mum-of-two Jade admitted she was overjoyed when she discovered she was pregnant.

She said: “I was shocked at first, but after such a horrible few months, having a baby was something I could finally look forward to.

“I dreamt of having a girl and even secretly imagined dressing her in pink.”

However, Jade said the miscarriage nearly broke her spirit, adding: “It got to the point where I thought, ‘What else can happen?’. I tortured myself asking why. It was a dark time but I had to put on a brave face for my sons.

“Last week a woman hugged me in the street. I just broke down. But then I get worried people will think I’m crying for sympathy.”

She told Closer magazine: “Last year, everything I touched turned to gold.”

Jade says she is still determined to pick up her career.

Source: The Sun