[Mrluvaluva]

With a little bit of luck, this might be the last story I ever have to write about Jade Goody. The grotesque blimp has been so punctured by well aimed, barbed comments - particularly from those who hate racism - that she's slowly been deflating, with only the odd hiss of air drawing attention to her dying career.

Well, here's the last fart before she hits the ground and is broken up for scrap, like a porcine Nazi zeppelin.

Jade is getting rid of her dog, as it's chewing the furniture and ******** everywhere. That's it. The end of a glorious tabloid career, but quite apt for Jade as it's about an uncontrollable dog and ****. Yes, this is the best that Team Goody can come up with to pump life back into the broken-backed dirigible that once made them soar so high.

So long, Jade. You may find that the problems persist after you have the puppy destroyed - that ******wit of a boyfriend is probably the one chewing the sofa and throwing turds around.

If I was forced to share a house with you, that's EXACTLY how I'd behave.

Couldn't have made it up if I tried!