[YODA]

We need -> I want

It's your decision -> The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want -> You'll pay for this later

We need to talk -> I need to complain

Sure...go ahead -> I don't want you to.

I'm not upset -> Of course I'm upset, you moron.

You're...so manly -> You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

you're certainly attentive tonight. -> Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! -> I have PMS.

Be romantic, turn out the lights. -> I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient. -> I want a new house.

I want new curtains -> and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper...

Hang the picture there -> No, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise -> I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? -> I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? -> I did something today you're really not going to like...

i'll be ready in a minute. -> Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat? -> Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. -> Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? -> [Too late, your dead.]

Yes -> No

No -> No

Maybe -> No

I'm sorry. -> You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe? -> It's easy to fix, so you'd better get get used to it.

I'm not yelling! -> Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

In answer to the question "What's wrong?":
-------------------- -------------------------------
The same old thing. -> Nothing.

Nothing. -> Everything.

Everything. -> My PMS is acting up.

Nothing, really. -> It's just that you're such a jerk.

I don't want to talk about it. -> Go away, I'm still building up evidence against you.



poor lad