[Harry!]

from heatworld

OK kids, tomorrow morning at 10am, the last batch of Spice Girls tickets – for the girls’ newly-announced UK dates – go on sale. And this time, YOU DON'T NEED TO HAVE REGISTERED FIRST – the tickets for 15 and 16 January and are on sale to everyone by phone. The numbers you need to call at 10am are:
0871 2200260
0870 4445556
0871 9840002
You can also get tickets from Ticketmaster and in person from box office at The o2 itself.

Now, as you know, the last lot sold out in a mind-boggling 38 seconds so, if you’re hoping to snaffle some this time around, you need to prepare accordingly. First, decide on your initial approach:

Option 1: Go straight home tonight – none of that cheeky after-work drinking nonsense – and get an early night. Rise at 6am, spend two hours knitting (it’ll keep your fingers nimble for all that mouse-clicking/phone-bashing you’ll be doing later), followed by half-an-hour in an ice-cold shower (for maximum alertness), and then drink six cups of strong coffee while jogging on the spot, until it’s time.

Option 2: Go to the pub after work. Get really drunk. Stagger into a late-night karaoke bar and murder 2 Become 1 and Wannabe. Wake up at 9.58am in the bed of someone you’ve never met before. Realise you’ve lost your purse (and your mind). Steal credit card from aforementioned stranger, and demand that they let you use their computer to access Ticketmaster.

Option 3: Hit the shops tonight and purchase the following items: tent, sleeping bag, £50 of refreshments, warm clothes. Camp out in North Greenwich and start queuing at The O2 as soon as the cock crows (do they have cocks in North Greenwich? No, not that kind). Oh, and arm yourself with this here map.

Whichever option you go for, also keep abreast of the following top tips:

1. You need back-up – ensure as many of your friends as possible are also primed for action. Someone’s bound to get tickets, and you just need to be as manipulative as possible to make sure one of them has got your name on it. You could take the Mean Girls approach, and pretend they’ve all been bitching about each other, so that they all invite you and ditch the others. By the time they suss you out, you’ll be high-kicking in the front row to Spice Up Your Life.

2. If you’re booking by phone or online, make sure you’ve got the house to yourself. Pesky siblings and selfish flatmates might not realise that this is a matter of spice and death, and clog up the phone/slow down the internet connection as they go about their tedious lives. If necessary, lie – didn’t they know the boys from Shipwrecked are doing a naked tug-of-war by the town clocktower at 9.45am?

3. Make exciting plans for tomorrow night. If you manage to get tickets, it can turn into a spicy celebration. And if you – perish the thought – fail, you’ll need to drown your sorrows. Although, if you did take the in-person approach, do bear in mind you might be in hospital with hypothermia.