[MB.]

Jinkx & Dela, who arrived first in the previous leg, are the first team to depart Bogotá, Colombia. They rip open their next clue.



Dela says that they'll to try and stay at the front of the pack for the rest of the race, but that doing so without alliances is going to be difficult. "Instead," Jinkx adds, "we’ll just have to run the other teams over with our car. I’m kidding. We’ll get a taxi driver to do it for us."

The rest of the teams all depart the Pit Stop in the order they arrived, and as the sun rises in Bogotá, the racers head to the airport in taxis. In her and Lady Bunny’s taxi, Coco ponders on the ramifications of travelling to Peru, her namesake country. "Does this make me President? Am I their President now? You know, I’ve always considered branching out into politics," she muses, as Bunny tries to have a nap in the back seat.

As the first six teams to arrive at the airport, Alaska & Willam, Gia & Laganja (and their new friend Sebastian, who Gia somehow manages to book a seat for despite him not having his passport on him), Jinkx & Dela, Mayhem & Morgan, Monét & Monique and Sasha & Shea all secure seats on the first flight to Peru. The other four teams - Bunny & Coco, Farrah & Valentina, Jasmine & Kennedy and Kelly & Tammie - settle for a later flight, much to the annoyance of Team French Vanilla Fantasy. However, the first connecting flight from Lima to Arequipa gets cancelled due to strong winds, and the six teams in the lead find themselves stuck at the airport, forced to take the same connecting flight as the four trailing teams. “We’re all on the same flight,” Mayhem sighs, watching her lead disintegrating. “We’re all on the same flight!” Valentina cheers, buying her fellow trailing teams complimentary iced lattes in celebration. “To the iced coffee crew,” Kelly says, raising her beverage and toasting the new alliance.

Concerned by the looming equaliser, Gia approaches the airline desk and stealthily asks if she, Laganja and Sebastian can be seated at the front of the plane, knowing that it will benefit them in the mad rush through the airport in Arequipa. Farrah & Valentina overhear this and tell the other teams in the newly-formed Iced Coffee Crew, who all then head over to inquire about upgrades. Gia becomes offended by this, accuses the other teams of copying her idea and asks Sebastian to act as her bodyguard. "You can’t do this! We’ll sue you all after the race!" Gia shouts at the other waiting teams, as Sebastian does his best to keep them away from the desk. "Excuse your mouth?" Tammie replies, severely doubting Gia’s knowledge of the American legal system. It’s only when Jasmine offers everyone a joint that the tension is diffused, and, with upgrades secured, the teams go their separate ways.

[MB.]

Upon arrival in Arequipa, all ten teams race at once through the airport terminal, with Jinkx & Dela briefly getting separated in all the commotion. "Honestly, I should microchip that woman," says a mildly-out-of-breath Jinkx as she searches the crowd for Dela’s face. Gia & Laganja, who were first off the plane, manage to miss the signs pointing to the taxi rank, and are beaten to it by all four teams in the Iced Coffee Crew. Kelly is quick to take control for her team, fearing that Tammie may somehow ask their driver for directions to Uncle Jack’s Apple Shack in Madison, Wisconsin instead of the Plaza de Armas.

Farrah & Valentina are the first team to arrive at the plaza, and read their next clue.



The rest of the teams soon show up, and are all equally confused as to who the mysterious Juanita is. "Maybe she’s the local neighbourhood ho,” Alaska suggests. "I respect that." What teams must figure out is that ‘Juanita’ is not a living person, but the name of a frozen mummy on display in the nearby Museo de Santuarios Andinos.

Monét & Monique decide to walk around the square shouting Juanita’s name. Mayhem & Morgan ask every woman in the vicinity if her name is Juanita. Bunny & Coco do the same, but also ask every woman in the vicinity if she’d be willing to change her name to Juanita for a small cash offering. Eventually, Laganja gets Sebastian to ask around for Juanita in Spanish, and is quickly told to head to the museum. Once the other teams spot Gia & Laganja leaving the square, they all head in the same direction. "These queens all want to be me," Gia says, accusing the other teams of once again copying her. “It’s quite sad actually.”

At the museum, teams find the frozen mummy, and are handed their next clue when they do.



The teams race to the local witches’ market, with Gia & Laganja having the edge over the rest of the pack. Jinkx & Dela, still a little flustered after losing each other at the airport, are trailing slightly and determined to catch up. Also at the back of the pack are Mayhem & Morgan who, after having approached seemingly every woman in the entire city in their search to find Juanita, are beginning to tire. "Perk up, bitch! We’re drag queens!" Mayhem says to Morgan in an attempt to encourage her. Team Fresh Tilapia get to the market first and read their clue.



The team members who did not complete the Roadblock in the previous leg - Bunny, Laganja, Kennedy, Dela, Tammie, Morgan, Monét and Sasha - all elect to perform this task, except for Farrah, who sits out to let Valentina take charge, and Alaska, who lets Willam do her magic instead. "I’m a natural saleswoman, you know,” Tammie tells the camera proudly. “As a child I once sold Eva Gabor a condo in Santa Monica.” Laganja enlists Sebastian’s help in finding some of the items, and as a result she purchases all items on the list before anyone else. She also has no trouble selling them. "Ayahuasca? Mawma, I buy and sell hallucinogenic plants all the time. This is just another day at the office for me." Laganja ends up making a large profit and hands the money to the vendor for her next clue. Gia is disgusted by everything she sees being sold around her and vows to never visit Peru again.

[MB.]

As Gia & Laganja wait for Sebastian to hail a taxi, Tammie finishes up the task, having sold more than double the number of items she was required to. As she and Kelly read their next clue, she credits being fluent in Spanish as a factor in helping her win over the locals. This also ends up helping Valentina, who adds some multilingual flourishes to her selling patter and gets the task done in no time at all. In stark comparison, Bunny finds herself struggling to shift any of the produce she has found. "Does nobody in this town want to buy a dried llama fetus from a 56-year old man in a wig?" she asks, surveying the amount of stock she has left. Kennedy decides to perform an impromptu dance routine for her customers, and suddenly sees her items flying off the shelves. Bunny spots this and tries a similar technique, but ends up twisting her ankle and has to do the rest of the task sitting down.

At the fountain, Gia & Laganja find a bench to chill out on and watch Sebastian retrieve their next clue. He emerges from the fountain panting and soaking wet, before giving the clue to Laganja to read (Gia declines as not to interfere with the manicure she got at the end of the previous leg).



Giving priority to Gia’s manicure, Team Fresh Tilapia choose the less physical Detour, Shear It. The three of them head off to Alpaca World, despite pledging prior to the race to never work with children or animals.

Back at the market, Willam’s new selling tactic has gone a bit astray, and she is spending more time flirting with the men of Arequipa (and telling them to follow her on all forms of social media, as well as OnlyFans and Venmo). Alaska has to eventually step in and tell her to focus on the Roadblock, not on sleeping with as many Peruvian guys in one day as is humanly possible. "That’s Gia’s job," she says with a wink. Jasmine & Kennedy and Monét & Monique are next to receive their clues from the vendor, at which point Willam throws a load of business cards into the crowd of men that has gathered, and buys her and Alaska’s next clue.

At the fountain, Kelly & Tammie, Monét & Monique and Alaska & Willam choose the alpaca-shearing Detour, while Jasmine & Kennedy, owing to Kennedy’s life-long fear of camelids, decide to go white water rafting. Farrah & Valentina also choose to go rafting, if not just because neither of them know what alpaca shearing is and assume it involves riding them. As the three teams arrive at Alpaca World, Gia & Laganja are busy watching Sebastian shear their first alpaca. "Do they do coconut water at this place?" Gia asks, as her Colombian friend wrestles the animal. "I’d really like a coconut water."

Sasha & Shea are next to finish the market Roadblock. As they receive their next clue, Sasha cracks open an armadillo egg to release a cascade of rose petals from inside. "Did you really bring a culturally-specific rose petal reveal to each country, bitch?" asks an exasperated Shea. Morgan also finishes up for her team, and she and Mayhem go off to search for taxis. Dela sees the other teams finishing the task and begins to panic, releasing only her and Jinkx and Bunny & Coco are left at the market. “None of these teams wanted to help us,” Dela says to the camera. “Which is fine. It’s the name of the game after all. But what I’m surprised at is how quickly this race got so cutthroat. People are doing anything to get a win.” As she says this, Bunny is getting her swollen ankle massaged by the Peruvian stall vendor.

“As a teenager I spent three months in the Machu Picchu area shearing alpacas, teaching them French and introducing them to the work of Carole King,” Tammie says as she grips her and Kelly’s assigned animal. Tammie’s prior experience helps them speed through the task, and Kelly makes quick work of washing and dyeing the wool. With no young men around to distract Willam, she and Alaska finish next, followed by Monet & Monique. Gia & Laganja see the other teams leaving and begin to get frustrated with Sebastian’s shearing abilities. After taking over the task, they end up being much faster, and receive their next clue only a few minutes after Monét & Monique do.

[MB.]

Farrah & Valentina and Jasmine & Kennedy both arrive at the Steer It Detour, and don white water rafting gear. Before beginning the task, Team French Vanilla Fantasy do a quick fashion show in their life jackets, using the riverbank as a runway. Jasmine tells them to hurry up. Once in their rafts, Farrah & Valentina pick up the speed and pull ahead of Team Jush Good Friends, with Farrah in charge of steering the raft and Valentina in charge of searching for (and translating) the numbers. At the end of the course, Farrah & Valentina input the code first, and are correct. They receive their clue and pick a marked car to drive to the Pit Stop in, as Jasmine & Kennedy finish up the course and do the same.

A car race to the lake ensues between Kelly & Tammie, Alaska & Willam, Monét & Monique, Gia & Laganja, Farrah & Valentina and Jasmine & Kennedy. Along the way, Alaska & Willam take a wrong turn, and have to drive an additional ten minutes to get back on the right road. Monét & Monique blow a tyre, and as Monét changes it, Monique asks God to blow everyone else’s tyres as well. At the lake, Phil spots a car emerging from the vast horizon…



Farrah & Valentina… you are team number one!

Phil: I have more good news for you: as the winners of this leg of the race, you have both won a tantric massage from the mayor of Arequipa.
The mayor of Arequipa waves at Farrah & Valentina.

Phil: From last to first!
Valentina: I hope this shows that we’re a force to be reckoned with and the other teams should start taking us seriously. Now, if you don't mind me, I'm off to do some backstroke in the lake to cool off.
Phil: Do you think the Iced Coffee Crew alliance will last beyond this leg?
Farrah: The what now?

Jinkx & Dela - 2 (Liam, Black Dagger)
Alaska & Willam - 1 (Shaun)
Bunny & Coco - 1 (Ammi)
Farrah & Valentina - 1 (RileyH)
Kelly & Tammie - 1 (Braden)
Monét & Monique - 1 (Morgan)

Gia & Laganja… you are the second team to arrive.

However, it is against the rules to use a member of the public to assist you in the race and complete tasks on your behalf.

As a result of receiving help from Sebastian and therefore breaking the rules of the race, Gia & Laganja receive a three-hour penalty, which they must wait out before they are able to check in. Upon hearing this, Gia accuses Phil of hating true love, and goes off to sulk.



Kelly & Tammie… you are now team number two!

Kelly: Well that was unexpected.
Tammie: As I said to Eva Gabor as she signed the lease on that condo, this is the greatest day of my life bar none.

Kelly & Tammie - 2 (Ammi, Black Dagger)
Alaska & Willam - 1 (Liam)
Bunny & Coco - 1 (Shaun)
Gia & Laganja - 1 (RileyH)
Jinkx & Dela - 1 (Braden)
Mayhem & Morgan - 1 (Morgan)

Jasmine & Kennedy... you are team number three!

Phil: You’re moving up!
Kennedy: Did somebody say… moving up?

Jinkx & Dela - 2 (Shaun, Ammi)
Monét & Monique - 2 (Liam, RileyH)
Bunny & Coco - 1 (Braden)
Jasmine & Kennedy - 1 (Black Dagger)
Farrah & Valentina - 1 (Morgan)

Alaska & Willam… you are team number four!

Phil: You two are proving to be quite the consistent pairin-
Willam: Hold that thought.
Willam takes Phil’s phone and uses it to check her OnlyFans account for new Peruvian followers.
Willam: Thirty eight. Nice.

Alaska & Willam - 4 (Ammi, Morgan, Braden, RileyH)
Bunny & Coco - 1 (Black Dagger)
Jasmine & Kennedy - 1 (Shaun)
Farrah & Valentina - 1 (Liam)

Monét & Monique… you are team number five!

Phil: So I hear you two had a little car trouble on the way over here?
Monique: The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Monét: (wearing a sponge as a fascinator) She does indeed.

Monét & Monique - 2 (Ammi, Black Dagger)
Sasha & Shea - 2 (Morgan, Liam)
Farrah & Valentina - 1 (Braden)
Jasmine & Kennedy - 1 (RileyH)
Kelly & Tammie - 1 (Shaun)

Sasha & Shea arrive at the fountain and choose the alpaca-shearing task. Once at Alpaca World, they complete the task with little difficulty. In fact, their only issue is a disagreement over which of them will drive to the Pit Stop (Shea ends up getting the honours). Mayhem & Morgan, meanwhile, opt for the river rafting. Although they quickly get to grips with the technicalities of steering the raft, they forget to pay attention to the numbers along the riverbank, and realise at the end of the course that they’ll have to go back and do the whole thing again. On their second attempt, they take extra care to memorise the numbers, and manage to unlock their next clue before heading to the Pit Stop.



Sasha & Shea… you are team number six!

Phil: Sasha, I think you might have dropped something back there.
Phil gestures to a trail of rose petals which seem to have fallen out of Sasha’s pocket on the way to the mat.
Sasha: I have absolutely no idea who those belong to.

Jasmine & Kennedy - 3 (Ammi, Morgan, Braden)
Alaska & Willam - 1 (Black Dagger)
Bunny & Coco - 1 (Liam)
Monét & Monique - 1 (Shaun)
Sasha & Shea - 1 (RileyH)

Mayhem & Morgan… you are team number seven!

Morgan: I need a drink. Does this lake have a bar?

Mayhem & Morgan - 4 (Shaun, Liam, Black Dagger, RileyH)
Farrah & Valentina - 1 (Ammi)
Gia & Laganja - 1 (Morgan)
Sasha & Shea - 1 (Braden)

[MB.]

Dela finally completes the Roadblock at the market, and she and Jinkx choose to do the alpaca-shearing task. “I hope these alpacas are actually alive,” Jinkx says on the way to the Detour, referring to the dried llama foetuses Dela had to sell at the market. "I’ve had enough of mummified things for one day." The threat of elimination seems to spur Team Seattle on, and they soon finish shearing their alpacas and preparing the wool. On their way out, Jinkx asks if the weaver can rustle them up a nice winter shawl each.



Jinkx & Dela… you are team number eight!

Phil: Falling from first to eighth must be tough.
Dela: It is, yes, but one thing we’ve learned from our time on Drag Race is that no matter what, we keep trying and we never give up.
Jinkx: Apart from that time on Drag Race when you gave up.
Dela: Apart from that.

Jinkx & Dela - 2 (Morgan, RileyH)
Sasha & Shea - 2 (Shaun, Black Dagger)
Gia & Laganja - 1 (Ammi)
Kelly & Tammie - 1 (Liam)
Monét & Monique - 1 (Braden)

An hour and a half has now passed on Gia & Laganja’s penalty. With only one team left to check in, Laganja stands nervously by the mat. Gia and Sebastian, meanwhile, have decided to have a rest in their car together. "I’m sure they’re having a lovely time in there," Phil says over some indeterminable muffled noises coming from the car. "They sound very restful."

Bunny & Coco, meanwhile, finally finish the Roadblock, despite the sight of Bunny’s enlarged ankle putting off customers. For the Detour, they choose to shear some alpacas, assuming that their experience dealing with lots of hair will help them in the task. Coco takes charge of the shearing, while Bunny washes and dyes the wool. As she does so, one of the alpacas starts licking Bunny’s foot. "It’s the most action I’ve had in years," she sighs.

With Bunny & Coco finishing up the Detour, they pick the last remaining car and begin the drive to the Pit Stop. At this point, Gia & Laganja have 45 minutes left before they are allowed to check in. Gia and Sebastian have at last emerged from their car; Sebastian looks a little sheepish and Gia smells like Sebastian’s cologne. Laganja has spent the duration of the penalty getting high.

With five minutes left on the clock, a car appears on the horizon. Out hobbles Bunny, followed by Coco. Tired from running a market stall and shearing alpacas all afternoon, they crawl to the mat.



Bunny & Coco... you are team number nine!

Phil: You’re still in the race, congratulations!
Coco: Oh my lanta.
Bunny: We beat out the drama queens! That’s what they get for being young, good-looking and successful!

Bunny & Coco - 2 (Morgan, RileyH)
Farrah & Valentina - 2 (Shaun, Black Dagger)
Gia & Laganja - 1 (Braden)
Jasmine & Kennedy - 1 (Liam)
Sasha & Shea - 1 (Ammi)

As Bunny & Coco celebrate, Phil calls Gia & Laganja onto the mat to finally check in. Sebastian tries to join them, but Phil politely gestures for him to stay where he is.



Gia & Laganja... you are now the last team to arrive. I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race.

Phil: Any last words?
Gia looks across at Bunny & Coco.
Gia: You’re all still dudes.

Gia walks away from the mat, grabs Sebastian’s arm and heads off to find the nearest lawyer. Laganja follows behind, mouthing "sorry" at the other team.

______________________________________________


Nine teams remain in the race.

[Liam-]

Ha

[MB.]

Your job:

Once again, please rank the following ten teams from 1st to 9th and post your rankings below:

Alaska & Willam
Bunny & Coco
Farrah & Valentina
Jasmine & Kennedy
Jinkx & Dela
Kelly & Tammie
Mayhem & Morgan
Monét & Monique
Sasha & Shea





You'll have until Wednesday afternoon to vote, at which point I'll tally up the votes, chuck them willy-nilly into random.org and see what happens. Until then, here's a clue as to the teams' next destination:

[Ammi]

....oooooo the drama of it all...it’s a bit like ‘I’m Spartacus’....I’m Juanita..!!!...mummy is that you..?....I love this amazing race.....

[Ammi]

...this is delicious, MB......

[Ammi]

1. Alaska and Willam...
2. Jasmine and Kennedy...
3. Jinkx and Dela...
4. Kelly and Tammie...
5. Bunny and Coco...
6. Sasha and Shea...
7. Monet and Monique...
8. Mayhem and Morgan...
9. Farrah and Valentina...

[Morgan.]

1. Monet and Monique
2. Alaska and Willam
3. Farrah and Valentina
4. Mayhem and Morgan
5. Sasha and Shea
6. Jinkx and Dela
7. Jasmine and Kennedy
8. Kelly and Tammie
9. Bunny and Coco

[Shaun]

1) Race Chasers
2) That Bothers Me
3) S7's Charisma
4) Seattle gals
5) MoMo
6) Tammie Mantle
7) WeHo Girls Found Dead Under Mattresses
8) S9 finalists
9) S9 pretty girls

[Liam-]

1. Dela and Jinkx
2. Alaska and Willam
3. Monét and Monique
4. Farrah and Valentina
5. Sasha and Shea
6. Morgan and Mayhem
7. Bunny and Coco
8. Kelly and Tammie
9. Jasmine and Kennedy

[MB.]

Originally Posted by Shaun

1) Race Chasers
2) That Bothers Me
3) S7's Charisma
4) Seattle gals
5) MoMo
6) Tammie Mantle
7) WeHo Girls Found Dead Under Mattresses
8) S9 finalists
9) S9 pretty girls

I'm so glad I immediately understood all of these

[RileyH]

Farrah & Tina winning Gia & Laganja going

I love this dfghdfgh

[RileyH]

1. Farrah & Valentina
2. Alaska & Willam
3. Monet & Monique
4. Jasmine & Kennedy
5. Sasha & Shea
6. Mayhem & Morgan
7. Jinkx & Dela
8. Bunny & Coco
9. Kelly & Tammie

[Black Dagger]

1) Kellie and Tammie
2) Jinkx and Dela
3) Alaska and Willam
4) Bunny and Coco
5) Monet and Monique
6) Mayhem and Morgan
7) Jasmine and Kennedy
8) Sasha and Shea
9) Farrah and Valentina

[MB.]

The vote for leg 3 is now closed. Results will follow later tonight...

[MB.]

I'm pedantic enough to find it neater for the next leg to begin on a new page, so I'll be posting a bunch of pretty pictures of today's destination until that happens xo

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[MB.]

That should do the trick...