[Redway]

The way finding a coconut at the shops has suddenly become impossible.

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by Redway

The way finding a coconut at the shops has suddenly become impossible.

There isn’t a demand for them, I’d suggest


We get one every year or so when the fair comes to town ( usually autumn time for some reason )

You can buy coconut milk just about anywhere


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[Redway]

Originally Posted by Zizu

There isn’t a demand for them, I’d suggest


We get one every year or so when the fair comes to town ( usually autumn time for some reason )

You can buy coconut milk just about anywhere


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I was going for fresh coconut for a reason. So mentioning pre-processed coconut milk is useless to me and just another bit of daft coming from you. I’m not gonna wait for the fair to come to town.

Go and face your beautiful women.

[Mystic Mock]

Anime posters where the woman has to shove her feet at the camera.

It's not a bloody Hentai.

[Redway]

People who whine a lot about the present moment and clamp down on younger generations indiscriminately. People have been doing that since time-immemorial, including when the current boomers were lads and lasses. Some things never change.

[Redway]

Igbos generally cook better than Yorubas (although party jollof is more of a Yoruba stronghold in terms of consistency, especially within Nigeria itself) but I ain’t down with it when Igbos gate-keep efo (riro) and skimp on the tomatoes because “Igbos never use tomatoes to cook any soup, unless tomato-paste is a substitute for palm oil.” Just eat the efo with rice if it’s that pressing to you. That’s option. Just like rice and egusi. Rice and steamed vegetables (amaranth, ugu, spinach). It don’t have to be pounded yam if the tomato-bit puts you off eating it as ofe. It’s … not about tribalism. It’s about authenticity.

[Redway]

ITVX trigger-warn-coding episodes of Emmerdale featuring cannabis as “drug-referential,” when one of the most notorious drugs of them-all (alcohol) is almost like the foundation of these soaps. The over-reliance on alcohol is an irritant at the best of times but the way they insist on flogging anti-drugs narratives amidst copious amounts of beer and wine, and the hypocritical moralising that comes with it, gets me skipping bare scenes. It’s unwatchable to me.

[Mystic Mock]

^

Trigger warnings in general piss me off.

[Mystic Mock]

Benjamin Mendy sympathizers.

[Redway]

The way local taxi firms (KingKabs, Chester being a notable exception) don’t try at-all anymore. And they wonder why people are flocking to Uber by the day.

[Redway]

Random acquaintances who bring toxic energy imposing themselves on you in the pub when you’re just trying to have a quiet pint. Chances are, I don’t want to speak to you and your girlfriend if I’d never actually hang out with you. The mutual vibe has to be respectful and free of toxicity. Know your boundaries. Don’t overstep.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Redway

Random acquaintances who bring toxic energy imposing themselves on you in the pub when you’re just trying to have a quiet pint. Chances are, I don’t want to speak to you and your girlfriend if I’d never actually hang out with you. The mutual vibe has to be respectful and free of toxicity. Know your boundaries. Don’t overstep.

And with that, Redway is back. Back and full of quiet irritation.

But yeah. Mutual energy has to be clean, grounded and non-invasive. Gotta respect the space.

[Mystic Mock]

When good-looking people attack their own looks just so they can get told how attractive they are.

It strikes me as someone that needs to be validated all of the time.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock

When good-looking people attack their own looks just so they can get told how attractive they are.

It strikes me as someone that needs to be validated all of the time.

Validation can always be a sore point for a lot of people, in different contexts. You have to remember that there’s always a face behind the make-up (for-example) and that can drive some of the insecurity, if their face alone doesn’t seem beautiful enough to them. Some people just have body-dysmorphia and see themselves as ugly even if they’re drop-dead gorgeous by all realistic accounts.

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by Redway

Validation can always be a sore point for a lot of people, in different contexts. You have to remember that there’s always a face behind the make-up (for-example) and that can drive some of the insecurity, if their face alone doesn’t seem beautiful enough to them. Some people just have body-dysmorphia and see themselves as ugly even if they’re drop-dead gorgeous by all realistic accounts.

Mmm

I recall working with two .. intelligent women , both parents as well ..

Both were ridiculously ( dangerously so) underweight yet both ate barely anything at break or lunchtime and both regularly made comments about themselves having to watch their weight or how FAT they were getting !

Utterly bizarre


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[Redway]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Mmm

I recall working with two .. intelligent women , both parents as well ..

Both were ridiculously ( dangerously so) underweight yet both ate barely anything at break or lunchtime and both regularly made comments about themselves having to watch their weight or how FAT they were getting !

Utterly bizarre


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Sadly that can often be the case.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Redway

Validation can always be a sore point for a lot of people, in different contexts. You have to remember that there’s always a face behind the make-up (for-example) and that can drive some of the insecurity, if their face alone doesn’t seem beautiful enough to them. Some people just have body-dysmorphia and see themselves as ugly even if they’re drop-dead gorgeous by all realistic accounts.

I get what you're saying.

It's probably just me being cynical tbf.

[Maru]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Mmm

I recall working with two .. intelligent women , both parents as well ..

Both were ridiculously ( dangerously so) underweight yet both ate barely anything at break or lunchtime and both regularly made comments about themselves having to watch their weight or how FAT they were getting !

Utterly bizarre

When I did a short stint working in coffee, I remember seeing a rail thin woman who would come through. Very wide-eyed. She would always emphatically order every modification possible to make the beverage as non-fat/sugar-free as possible (including multiple sweeteners). And yet add in a ton of caffeine of course. The order was so complicated it ended up in about 12 additions. It was so obvious it was to hide the fact they were dieting off of copious amounts of caffeine because there's no way they had stable energy levels. They were dangerously thin. Like how they were upright and able to drive a vehicle was a feat. And they were adamant they couldn't have anything fattening whatsoever. The drink order was a level of cope hiding an obvious eating order I'd never thought possible. They just seemed so distraught when talking to them, though. Some of the other people I worked with thought it was actually amusing or many didn't really seem to be bothered by it. I don't know how people don't notice and feel empathy.. especially as someone who serves others.

[Maru]

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock

When good-looking people attack their own looks just so they can get told how attractive they are.

It strikes me as someone that needs to be validated all of the time.

Attraction is so subjective, it can be a bit of a game to figure out where we resonate with specific people. It's like this with personality I think these days. So it's probably one of the few times some people can figure out where their chemistry falls with other people if they're not used to being noticed for their personality. So I kinda understand that "need". However yes, some people just play the game, not just a quest to find out whether one is attractive or not, but to try to get someone to be more interested in them and play mind games. That game absolutely is played among women... but men do it too also now (especially younger men).

I'm unconventional when it comes to my tastes, so a lot of compliments do feel straight out of left field I see compliments as "for entertainment purposes only", to be generously given but more for the benefits of amusement... I]generally[/I] not to be taken that seriously at all because impressions can be highly variable. I'd like to think I have a decently critical (constructive) view of myself that I don't need someone to directly insult on me the regular to have some clue at least... but when someone compliments in any area that really I can't be objective on, that is helpful because it's affirming that I at least put across an energy that I can accept when I'm around other people... I think being attractive to others has a lot to do with personality, so if someone goes out of their way to put compliments on physical traits, they're also speaking to you as a person... not just what you look like, but how you make them feel... so that information does matter.

Some people are not strong in personality, so it can look that they are using it to achieve attention. It is what it is. I try not to judge too harshly, because we all have our points we feel we'd like to work on. Maybe someone is genuinely not happy with their look. Whatever the case, if they need validation, it's fine I think on some level. Games are pretty easy to detect if you pay enough attention. My concern would more be if the compliments are coming from the right place... like I don't want to make other people feel I need flattery.

/random

[Redway]

Instigators of narcissistic abuse not understanding the seriousness of what they do and how they treat people. (Big-ting, still.)

Yep, Redway’s definitely back.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Maru

Attraction is so subjective, it can be a bit of a game to figure out where we resonate with specific people. It's like this with personality I think these days. So it's probably one of the few times some people can figure out where their chemistry falls with other people if they're not used to being noticed for their personality. So I kinda understand that "need". However yes, some people just play the game, not just a quest to find out whether one is attractive or not, but to try to get someone to be more interested in them and play mind games. That game absolutely is played among women... but men do it too also now (especially younger men).

I'm unconventional when it comes to my tastes, so a lot of compliments do feel straight out of left field I see compliments as "for entertainment purposes only", to be generously given but more for the benefits of amusement... I]generally[/I] not to be taken that seriously at all because impressions can be highly variable. I'd like to think I have a decently critical (constructive) view of myself that I don't need someone to directly insult on me the regular to have some clue at least... but when someone compliments in any area that really I can't be objective on, that is helpful because it's affirming that I at least put across an energy that I can accept when I'm around other people... I think being attractive to others has a lot to do with personality, so if someone goes out of their way to put compliments on physical traits, they're also speaking to you as a person... not just what you look like, but how you make them feel... so that information does matter.

Some people are not strong in personality, so it can look that they are using it to achieve attention. It is what it is. I try not to judge too harshly, because we all have our points we feel we'd like to work on. Maybe someone is genuinely not happy with their look. Whatever the case, if they need validation, it's fine I think on some level. Games are pretty easy to detect if you pay enough attention. My concern would more be if the compliments are coming from the right place... like I don't want to make other people feel I need flattery.

/random

Sure it's subjective.

But (for example) I think that most people would say that someone like Dua Lipa is attractive, and some people would find it odd if she were to suddenly start saying how she thinks that she's hideous.

Oh and I agree that men can be guilty of this too, ironically it's easier to read a guy doing it from my perspective than it is women.

And fair points on the last couple of paragraphs, one thing I wanna add that's more to do with the person giving the compliments, is if they're constantly throwing them out at someone who's insecure about themselves, just to manipulate that insecure person to do what they want.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Redway

Instigators of narcissistic abuse not understanding the seriousness of what they do and how they treat people. (Big-ting, still.)

Yep, Redway’s definitely back.

Narcissism feels like it's on the rise.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock

Narcissism feels like it's on the rise.

Sometimes you’ve got to laugh it off when people dislike you for the most random reasons and let them go off on their own lonely tangents but if someone dislikes you on the basis of you being a walking red-flag in terms of interpersonal toxicity (narcissism being the extreme version of that) by more than one account, and the people actually know you well enough to make that call, I personally would be worried. But people with no self-awareness just walk around every day and shrug it off like it’s no big deal, like other people are just being too sensitive and reading into their toxic behaviour way too much.

As-for whether it’s truly on the rise or not, I couldn’t comment, to be fair. But I do know that it’s an epidemic.

[Redway]

Some of the comments on the “Liverpool: Then and Now” Facebook-page, where it’s giving misplaced nostalgia. Some people would say that a pile of soot surrounded by rats and poor orphan-children looks better than the more modern rendering.

[Kate!]

Hypocrisy