[Arneldo]

BIG Brother star Nadia Almada has revealed how a terrifying nervous breakdown drove her to the edge of suicide.



The tormented transsexual plunged into a booze-fuelled whirlpool of despair after splitting from her boyfriend and making a disastrous appearance on Australian BB.


In an exclusive interview she told the News of the World she lay in bed at her London home for TWO WEEKS as the double depression of losing diamond dealer love Richard AND seeing her fame slip away sank in. "I didn't want to live. I was scared I was going mad and felt suicidal," said the 28-year-old winner of Big Brother 5, who last week ended up in the Priory clinic.


"I didn't want to get out of bed and lay there watching TV and staring at the wall...I felt like a zombie."


But Nadia kept on sitting in the dark behind closed curtains, afraid to go out and face the world. She didn't even wash.


She said: "Pizza boxes were lying on the floor, ashtrays were overflowing and dirty glasses all around. I just wasn't bothered.


"I couldn't get any lower. Big Brother was a huge high, but last week I reached the bottom."

Portu-geezer Nadia checked into the Priory after a friend begged her to seek help, but she discharged herself after just ONE DAY and has now started sessions with the Big Brother psychologist Dr Steve Flett. And she is trying to work out how it all went wrong.


Last February the former bank worker called Carlos—already struggling with life as a woman—decided to cheer herself up with a boob job in Cape Town, South Africa, where she met Richard.


She said: "At first it was a holiday romance, but it turned into a lot more. I loved him and felt totally appreciated as a woman."


Clingy



But Nadia split with her 39-year-old lover in July because she felt so low about herself. "He met the feisty Nadia but after a while I enjoyed letting him look after me and I became reliant and clingy," she said. "We sat down and talked and realised we had to end it.


"He's a very special friend—but I messed it all up through my insecurities. I started to think I didn't have an identity."


Days after the split, Nadia tried to bounce back by jetting off Down Under to take part in their Big Brother. She lasted four days, continually bursting into tears as housemates probed her sex-change past and refused to accept her as a woman.


"Everyone knew who I was already," she said. "They asked the ‘T word' (transsexual) within hours of me being there. It was a huge setback after being accepted in Britain." And when she returned home, she hit the bottle.


"I love to go out and party. I was binge drinking and it became a problem."

Evicted



Eventually she retreated to her flat and says: "I felt so lost. I had no reason to go on." Luckily, one of Nadia's worried friends, Billy, came to see her, dragged her out of bed and made her have a shower. It was then she finally admitted she needed help.


Billy booked her into the £400-a-night Priory and a doctor at the hospital in Southgate, north London, told her she had suffered a breakdown and needed nine days in the clinic.


Nadia said: "I had to get out. It was like being in the Big Brother house but I evicted myself. I had to get better on my own."


Now, with the help of friends and Dr Flett, Nadia is pulling through—and has even started house hunting.

"A new home would mean a fresh start," she said. "Last week I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel but now I am looking to the future.


"I have fantastic people around me and without them I really don't know where I would be today."

[Sunny_01]

I know I read an article about this the other day and could not help but feel sad for her. She has worked so hard for acceptance from the people around her yet I dont think she has really accepted herself which is a terrible shame as she comes across as a pretty nice person.

[ThaGazBoi]

I agree, I hope she gets all better soon

[sol]

yer, best on luck Nadia